


The Redneck and The Samurai (IV)

by twhite179



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Baby Judith, Bob - Freeform, Carl Grimes - Freeform, Character Death, Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Daryl Dixon/You - Freeform, Daryl DixonxReader - Freeform, Glenn Rhee - Freeform, Grief, Hershel Greene - Freeform, Maggie Greene - Freeform, Michonne - Freeform, Mika - Freeform, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Pregnancy, Protective Daryl Dixon, Reader Insert, Romance, Sasha - Freeform, Separation, TWD - Season 4, Terminus (The Walking Dead), The Governor - Freeform, The Prison, The Walking Dead - Relationships, The Walking Dead Season 4, Tyreese - Freeform, beth greene - Freeform, daryl dixon - Freeform, hostages, lizzie - Freeform, rick grimes - Freeform, the walking dead - Freeform, the walking dead - family, twd, walking dead - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:42:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 51,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28560015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twhite179/pseuds/twhite179
Summary: After the trauma of your past and the world now in utter chaos, you'd never have thought you'd have found a group such as this to ride out the walker filled world. You navigate through this new apocalyptic life with Rick Grimes and others, including a certain redneck with a crossbow, facing obstacle after obstacle together and fighting for one another as friendships turn into family.Part 4 - Life at the prison has become a sanctuary. We all live together as close to an ideal life as possible, the Woodbury people becoming a part of us and anyone else we find along the way. The Governor has disappeared and is no where to be found. As we live and grow stronger together, so relationships. You and Daryl have become an inseparable pair, moving onto a new step in your lives. But trouble is never far along; as we now have to face a new enemy, we all have to fight to protect the livelihood we worked so hard to build. Will we be able to hold onto humanity in the face of a new evil? Or will our downfall be at the hands of an old one?(Part 5 posted)(Follows the walking dead (TV) storyline but with my added reader character, plotlines and twists of existing plotlines.)
Kudos: 4





	1. one

Considering we were in a prison, life there had become a sanctuary. It had become a home for all that now lived there, and we were happy. The Woodbury people had adjusted to their new living space quicker than I imagined. We’d had to make the other cell blocks habitable for everyone so that every person had a place to stay, a place to sleep. The prison got a bit of a spruce up in a matter of speaking, it had become a home, as much as we could make it one and we’d become a small community. We had a council now, so decisions weren’t all leant on one person, that person being Rick. He hadn’t wanted to be on the council, and we respected that, he’d done a lot for the group, taking the responsibility of us all on his back since we got to Atlanta. He deserved a break. Hershel, Daryl, Glenn, Carol, Sasha and I made up the council and it worked. 

The yard was secure. We’d managed to get the large metal doors off their hinges that had been residing in the courtyard and turned them into a new set of gates around the wire link ones we’d fixed. Making the entrance more secure with wooden spikes lining the sides of the metal gates: a walker deterrent. The yard was now mostly farmland, where we grew crops and kept a few livestock, along with our couple horses Daryl and I had found on a run not long after the Woodbury people arrived. We’d been scavenging for food and whatever else and I decided to wrangle them so we could take them back, showing Daryl the best approach which he got the hang of immediately of course. We still kept the far corner of the yard, away from the crops and livestock, as our burial site. Where we kept our friends and loved ones. Where the people we’d lost were forever held and never forgotten. 

Someone I wish I could, but also had never completely forgotten, was the Governor. We hadn’t killed him and we didn’t know where he was after he massacred some of his people. A few of us went looking for a little while, after we brought the Woodbury people back, scouting around for any sign of him. Daryl and the others who came seemed somewhat content that he wasn’t going to return after searching for a while and finding nothing, not now that he had no one to back him, that he was for sure alone at his own hand. But it didn’t soothe me. I wanted him found and I wanted him dead. Michonne did too. She never told us what he exactly did to her all that time he kept her held prisoner at Woodbury, but whatever it was, it was enough for her to want him dead. We both continued to go out on searches together to look for him, scouting and searching areas now and then when we could, during the construction and fortification of the prison in the earlier months when all hands were on deck. We carried on doing this for months but never found a thing. 

It was now seven months since I’d come to the prison, when I’d reunited with the group and Daryl. Apart from the first couple weeks at the prison with everything that went down both within the prison and with the Governor, it had been months of peace and prosperity. Except, a couple months in I got a big surprise and for a couple days the notion of peace and prosperity was something I thought wasn’t on the cards for me. Maggie had been complaining one day about her time of the month and it suddenly struck me that I hadn’t got mine that month, or the one before. I hadn’t stopped thinking about from that moment and avoided everyone, especially Daryl, that day. I took one of the horses and went on a run alone; I wanted to be sure before telling anyone, it could have just been a fluke, I hoped. I went to a couple places to find a test and managed to grab one, finding that it came back positive. I was pregnant. I initially cried in the store, sat in the aisle I’d found it in, thinking about what I was going to do about it because I had no idea what I wanted to do. So many things had run through my mind at the time. What happened to Sophia, what happened to Lori, then if Daryl would even want the responsibility of a child in this world, if I was even up to the task of being a mother again. I’d had and lost Sophia, did I even want to have another one? 

When I’d eventually arrived back at the prison, Daryl had been waiting worried and was not happy I’d flew off. I’d told him I needed space that day but he kept asking questions which caused me to yell at him to leave me alone. I was still reeling from the news but wasn’t sure what to tell him yet at that point, I didn’t feel ready, so I stormed off. I spent the whole day alone with my thoughts, thinking it all over, every possible situation, outcome, conversation. Until I finally felt the need to talk to someone about it, but I was still unsure of how Daryl would react. So, I turned to a third party, a voice of reason and wisdom, as always, that was Hershel. If I were to go through with this, he’d be the one helping me with it, so he seemed like the person to talk to.

I’d pulled him aside that early evening, explaining everything to him. How it must have happened the first couple times Daryl and I were together, a couple months prior when I’d adjusted back into the group and in the prison. How I was worried about what might happen after Lori, having been the one there with her and witnessing her painful final moments. How I debated if I could even be a mother again. If I even wanted to keep it. He had reassured me that if I decided to go through with it, we were in a place where I’d be fine, where I’d be looked after and he wouldn’t let what happened to Lori happen to me. 

“What does Daryl want? What does he think about it?” Hershel asks.

I faced him with a guilty look, answering without saying a word, when he asked that. It was then that I started to feel guilty I still hadn’t told Daryl and now Hershel knew before him. 

“You haven’t told him, have you?” he questions and I shake my head with slight shame. 

“You know, you’ll find that you will come to an answer on what you want to do, when you hear what Daryl has to say.” he points out. 

“I’m scared.” I state.

“About what exactly?” he asks.

“All of it. But-- what if he doesn’t want it? What if all this is too much?” I question.

“Does that mean that you do?” he asks.

I shrug. “Maybe.” I mumble. 

“Why would it be too much? You and Daryl have been inseparable since I’ve known you, despite the months apart.” He points out.

“But that’s exactly it. Yeah, through all of this, we’ve come together and it’s felt like I’ve known him for years on years. I met him, what- over one, maybe nearly two years ago now and in that, I was separated for eight months from you all. We’ve only ever really been together since I got here, we’ve only been like how we are now for two months. What if it’s too much for him?” I babble, all my thoughts spilling out.

“Has he given you any impression that perhaps something like this, would be?” he questions.

I chew my lip, pondering. “I’m not sure. I don’t think so. But this wasn’t something we’d planned, nor have we ever talked about something like this. We’ve just been enjoying what we have together.” I answer. 

“Your putting too much thought into it. Your biggest worry right now, your biggest hurdle is yourself. You’ve been pretty much the only person to truly crack Daryl. That man is completely devoted to you.” Hershel declares. “Talk to him. You’ll feel better for it.” he instructs, with a comforting touch to my arm before leaving my side to rejoin the others.

The sun was setting when I asked Daryl to come outside with me to the courtyard. We sat on top of one of the tables next to each other and I looked out from the prison at the different colours in the sky as I began apologising for my outburst earlier that day. He said it was nothing, that we all had our moments but asked what was wrong.

I took a breath, still keeping my eyes looking out ahead, not wanting to see his reaction in case it was one I didn’t want to see. “I’m gonna tell you something and I just want you to listen because I’ve been working it all up and thinking about it all in my head all day.” I gently announce.

“Alright.” He simply agrees.

“I’m pregnant. And I’m scared, about a lot of things, but- but I think-- I’m pretty sure I want to keep it. I just want to know, if- if you do. –And you don’t have to make a decision right now, but-- if you know you don’t want a part of this then you can walk right back into that cellblock and that would be fine. –But if you know you do- you don’t have to say a word just yet, you can just sit here with me and watch the sun go down. And I’ll know we’ll face it- in this, broken world- together.” I explain.

I didn’t look at him once the whole time I told him and I kept my eyes forward as silence fell across us both. We were sat there quiet for a moment until I felt his hand on top of mine. 

He grasped my hand that was gripping the edge of the table, enclosing it in his. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” He softly assures and his words send a shiver of relief through me. I close my eyes as I break into a smile. When I faced him, he shared the smile and I brought him into an embrace, before kissing him. In that moment we shared together, we stayed out in the courtyard, not speaking much as we watched the sun go down and the colours fade. But he did however tell me that he was happy if I was and that he’d gladly do this with me. It was then that he had told me he loved me. I knew he did and he showed me he did every day. He knew I loved him, I’d told him before, but that was the first time he said the words. Even though I was still scared of what the future now had in store, I knew whatever happened Daryl would be there.

We’d kept it to ourselves as long as we could, wanting to have it just between us for a while longer, and Hershel obviously. It was only a couple weeks later, after I’d been starting to get nauseous at certain times and with certain smells, that Carol, Maggie and Beth had started to notice. But Carol was the one to bring it up and I figured if I was going to tell her, we’d may as well tell the whole group at that point. They were surprisingly elated at the news, but I supposed after beginning to finally prosper here and with Judith growing healthily a couple months strong, it was something to celebrate. I wondered why I ever had any doubts about Daryl. Hershel was right. He was devoted and I loved him for it. Once we’d got past that initial shock of it all, the months did pass with ease and we all lived and thrived peacefully. We were building lives here, finally in this world. However, I still couldn’t help but harbour a worry all through the months, beneath it all, about when I would inevitably have to deliver, but I kept it to myself.

As life went on in the prison, Michonne and I did continue to go out and search for the Governor through the months, but I eventually stopped when my belly started to get bigger; riding a horse wasn’t the best idea in my state. Daryl, and the others, didn’t like what we were doing in the first place anyway, he always argued against it, but I never listened. So, when I stopped he was glad to see it. However, Michonne never stopped. She’d told me she would keep looking for the both of us, and had I not been pregnant I would have still been out there with her.

Now I was seven months along, my belly protruding out while we all lived our happy lives here. Rick had turned into our farmer somewhat, the crops and livestock being his sole purpose nowadays as we, the council, looked over the people, keeping them feed, sheltered and protected. Our original group, the Woodbury people, and anyone else that we found along the way through the months. We brought them in if we thought they were good people and only if they answered our three questions. How many walkers have you killed? How many people have you killed? And why? We thought it was the quickest and best way to gage into who they were. Everyone played their part and it worked, which was exactly what we wanted. It was the legacy we made, that we all made a reality here, for the people who didn’t get to live in it.


	2. two

Our days at the prison were pretty quiet, apart from the walkers that would occasionally build up at the fences, but other than that it was uneventful and that was a good thing. It had started getting even more so for me once Daryl had started putting his foot down recently, telling me I shouldn’t go on runs that seemed too risky, or too long a journey or whatever excuse he could find. I respected him sometimes, but only sometimes because I didn’t like being couped up and told I couldn’t do things just because I was pregnant. I was more than capable at doing things with a bump on my belly. So, I would be stubborn at times and insist on going on runs that sounded low risk or wouldn’t take too much out of me. Daryl didn’t like it, but he didn’t have a choice. I had to keep busy or I’d lose my mind. 

Stood in the courtyard hut, Carol was serving up the days breakfast. People were sat around at the tables as I stood at the serving and cooking station, talking to Carol while I forced the meat down me. The smell would often make me feel nauseous but the more I forced myself to be around it and force it down, the less nauseous I felt. 

I spotted Daryl coming towards the hut, coming over to Carol and I. As he walked through the seating area, a wave of greetings began, much to mine and Carol’s amusement. 

“Morning, Daryl.” Dr. S greets.

“What’s up, Dr. S?” Daryl replies.

“Morning, Daryl.” A couple people chime. “Hey, Daryl.” A couple others say simultaneously as Daryl approaches both of us at the cooking station. He turns around, a little stunned that they all chirped and jumped at the chance to greet him. Carol and I just shared a look and smile at the scene. When he turns back around, he puts his arm around me, as I stood chewing my food, and plants a kiss on the side of my head.

“Smells good.” he announces, dismissing the abundance of greetings he just received, grabbing a plate.

“Just so you know, I liked you first.” Carol teases and I snort a laugh.

“Stop.” he says, picking up her joke as Carol and I were still smiling.

“You know, Rick brought in a lot of ‘em too.” Daryl points out.

“Not recently.” Carol counters.

“Give the stranger sanctuary, keeping people fed, you’re gonna have to learn to live with the love, Dixon.” I tease this time with a smirk.

“Right.” He says, rolling his eyes before looking to Carol. “Make sure she gets a good amount of that food. Her fat ass eatin’ for two remember.” He jabs, with his own devious smirk, getting an amused gasp from Carol. 

“How could we forget; your bumps getting bigger now.” Carol points out as I elbowed Daryl’s side playfully.

“Yep. Yes, it is. And he thinks he’s so funny and clever calling me that since everything started blowing up in size. Don’t you, Redneck?” I poke, as he wraps his arms around me playfully, knowing he didn’t like that nickname as much as I didn’t like fat ass. Carol laughs at us, both trying to rile the other up with devious smirks.

He kisses the top of my head when I remember I actually needed to talk to him about the run today. “Hey, I need you to see something. Come on.” I announce as he releases me from his hold. 

As we begin walking out the hut, we’re stopped by Patrick, one of the teen kids. “Erh. Mr. Dixon.” He calls coming up to us and I have to stifle a laugh at the formal greeting, knowing Daryl probably wouldn’t have liked it as we turned to his call. 

“I just wanted to thank you for bringing that deer back yesterday. It was a real treat, sir.” Patrick begins and Daryl glances at me to see a massive smile on my face as I glanced back at him. I really had to hold in a laugh at ‘sir’. Daryl was not the ‘Mr. Dixon’ or ‘sir’ type which just made it all the more funny to me. He looked back to Patrick with a face that looked like he didn’t know what to do with himself. He wasn’t used to people talking like this, even after all these months. “And I’d be honoured to shake your hand.” He adds, holding out his hand in between them.

Daryl looked at his hand, before slightly glancing at me again, and I was still wearing a beaming smile. He sucked the grease from the food he’d been eating off his fingers as he faced Patrick before slapping his hand down and shaking Patrick’s.

Patrick wore a huge smile himself as they shook hands with Daryl putting an uncomfortable one on and I have to begin stepping off as I let out a stifled laugh. Daryl is quick to step away coming to my side almost instantly.

“Nice of you to join, Mr Dixon.” I mock with a chuckle.

“Shut up.” He mumbles as he squeezes my shoulder and I laugh brushing him off.

Walking him across the courtyard, we approach the gates to look out at the prison fences. “About today, I know we’re already short, but I don’t know if we’re gonna be able to spare a lot of people for the run.” I declare as we walk up to them.

“That place is good to go. We’re gonna move on it.” Daryl announces.

“Yeah I know. But the thing is, we had a pretty big build up overnight.” I reply as we get to the gates and we see a mass of walkers crowding around the fence line, herding up and pushing on the fences as a group on duty were in the fence walkway stabbing them through the fence. 

“There’s dozens more towards tower three. It’s getting as bad as last month. They don’t spread out anymore.” I add.

“With more of us in here, it’ll draw more of ‘em out. You get enough of those damn fence clingers, they start to herd up.” Daryl points out.

“Pushing against the fences again. It’s manageable, but unless we get ahead of it, not for long.” I continue. 

I face him with a smirk before my words even come out. “Sorry, sir.” I mock.

He scoffs. “Stop.” he says nudging me lightly as I chuckle.

“You still don’t have to come just cause we’re short, you know.” Daryl suddenly announces. 

“Daryl, you try and stop me every time and I end up going anyway. These are the only times I can get out; you know I don’t like being couped up in here. I’m going. Besides, I helped get that place set up and I wanna see it through.” I argue lovingly, putting my arms around to his back and resting against him.

“I know, but I’m still gonna say it every time. I don’t like you goin’ out there like this. You’re getting’ big now too.” he counters, stroking a piece of hair out my face behind my ear. 

“Yeah, well- I’m all kinds of stubborn.” I joke with a smile, pecking his lips before dropping my arms as we turn back to the courtyard.

“Mmhmm. You never listen to me anyway. Don’t know why I think that’s suddenly change.” He teases, putting his arm around my shoulders as we walk.

“Damn straight, Mr. Dixon.” I jab one more time.

Daryl sighs, shaking his head. “That ain’t goin’ away anytime soon is it.” he says.

“Nope.” I smile. 

Daryl, myself and a small group of us were getting a couple cars ready for the run, packing them up with weapons and gear. Daryl took a box from me at the side of the truck, to put in the back, clearly not wanting me to carry it any further. I give him a look of raised eyebrows and a smile, silently telling him I could do it while he carried it over as Beth strolls by, getting her boyfriend’s Zach’s attention.

“Hey. I was just going to come find you.” He announces stepping forward to kiss her as Daryl and I hear and turn to see them kissing.

“What’s up?” Beth asks.

“Well, the council pulled back everyone on the coal crew from going on the run. They’re shorthanded right now.” Zach begins explaining and Daryl and I lean against the truck, listening in amusement at his milking of the situation. “I figured I’d step up to help, go with them. Just, you know, I wanted to make sure that I saw you before.” He continues.

“Okay.” She coolly answers. 

“I just, because- you know, it’s dangerous, going out there.” He adds, almost in defence against her simple response. 

“I know.” Beth smiles, planting a kiss on his cheek before walking off past us.

“Okay. Are you gonna say goodbye?” he asks watching her walk away.

“Nope.” She chirps.

Daryl and I both scoff in amusement at the encounter. “It’s like a damn romance novel.” Daryl jokes, pushing off from the truck to grab the last couple things.

I chuckle. “Like you can talk.” I poke.

“Hey, don’t put it all on me, woman.” Daryl says walking backwards away with a smirk.

“Alright, like we can talk then.” I correct, smiling as shook my head at him.

“Now who’s in a damn romance novel.” Zach teases coming up to my side at the truck with a grin.

“Yeah, punk.” I say with a devious smirk, wrapping my arm around his neck and scruffing up his hair with my knuckles before letting him go at his incessant pleads.

We walk up to the car in front to see if the rest of the group are ready to leave as Bob, a man that Daryl had brought in about a week ago now, approached us all at the vehicles. 

“Hey. I’d like to start pulling my weight around here.” he announces, asking to join without explicitly asking.

“Bob, it’s only been a week.” I point out from Sasha’s side at the car.

“That’s a week worth of meals and a roof over my head. Let me earn my keep.” He counters.

“You were out on your own when Daryl found you.” I point out.

“That’s right.” He confirms.

“I just wanna make sure you know how to play on a team.” I continue.

“We ain’t gonna do it unless it’s easy.” Daryl chimes walking back past with the last couple bits.

“You know he was a medic in the army.” Glenn announces.

Bob looks at me as if it’s meant to impress me but I hold his stare.

“You a hell of a tough sell, you know that?” Bob teases.

I scoff. “Oh yeah, she’s stubborn alright.” Daryl jabs as he walks past again headed for his bike, but I catch him hitting his side as he squirms away. “Ass.” I mumble at him.

I look back to Bob and take a breath. “Okay, fine. Get in.” I say before getting in the front of the car with Glenn in the driver’s seat and Bob getting in the back with Sasha. Leaving Tyreese and Zach in the truck with Daryl on his bike in front.

When we drove into the yard, Daryl stopped by Rick and Carl who were talking to Michonne. The car stopped as Daryl did and I got out to greet Michonne as she had been out looking for the Governor still the last few days. She still went out looking, even now when I had started to finally see it as pointless. She’d only talk about going out there with me, being the only other one who had wanted to look, but she’d look for him and not find him. Her searches turned more into runs; getting things for me I’d ask for her to keep an eye out for.

“Well, looks who’s back.” Daryl says as I shut the car door.

“You gonna stay a little while?” Rick asks as I make my way over.

“Just a little while.” She answers before I step into the gathering.

“I’m glad to see you.” I announce whilst stroking the horse, Flash, she’d rode. 

“Glad to see you too.” she replies.

“I was talking to Flash here.” I joke, smiling before stepping over and bringing her into a hug. “Funny.” She chimes.

“Good to see you in one piece.” I add stepping out the hug.

Michonne nods lightly. “Didn’t find him.” She suddenly says and the tone turns serious as no one says anything. 

“I’m thinking of looking over near Macon.” She continues and Rick and Daryl shoot each other a concerned look, although I understood; Macon was far, further than she’d gone before.

“It’s worth a shot.” She defends.

“70 miles of walkers, you might run into a few unneighbourly types. Is it?” Daryl points out.

Michonne doesn’t respond, instead just looks to me, as if for backup, and the guys are too hoping I won’t.  
I sigh. “Maybe we stop Michonne. It’s been nearly seven months since he left and we’ve got nothing. He’s right; not worth putting you at risk that far out and just because we want a man dead that may already be.” I announce. 

She looks at me with disappointed eyes, but I can see that she listened because of it. “Fine.” She mutters and we all stand there in silence for a short moment before Michonne moves over to the saddle bag on the horse, clearly wanting to move on from the subject as she pulls something out with a smile.

“I did, however, find a couple things you asked for to look out for.” She declares pulling a pack of comics out and I move quickly to stand in front of her when I clock them, to block them from Carl.

“You read comics?” Carl asks.

I turn around to face him with my hands behind my back, seeing that my efforts have failed, I roll my eyes and bring them around from behind my back.

“It was meant to be a surprise. Your dad mentioned it was your birthday not long ago, so, well- here you go.” I explain with a smirk, holding the comics in front of him.

“No way. Awesome.” Carl exclaims grabbing hold of them. “Happy birthday, I suppose.” I add.

“Thank you.” He says with a grin.

“Thank Michonne, she did all the work. I was gonna try and find something to wrap it, so I had some hand in it, but that’s out the window.” I point out with a deflated smile.

“Thanks, Michonne.” He corrects.

“I get to read ‘em when you’re done.” She replies, pulling something else out the bag.

“I still don’t know why you wanted this. Not like Daryl’s got enough facial hair to shave off in the first place.” Michonne jokes handing me a men’s electric facial razor as we all look to Daryl with grins. 

“Good one.” Daryl retorts, getting a chuckle from Michonne.

“What you want it for?” he asks me and I turn to Rick, holding it out to him.

“Your face is losing the war.” I mock smirking, as his beard had grown a fair bit recently. 

He takes it with an amused scoff. “Thanks, I guess.” He says.

“Oh, now I know who it was for, you’re more than welcome.” Michonne teases, joining my side with a grin.

“You two are on one today.” He replies.

“Hey, are we going or what? I’m not getting any younger.” Glenn calls over standing out from the car.

We all look around to him. “Glenn, you’re younger than us. You don’t have to worry, you’ll live.” I retort back over.

“Exactly. I worry about you people.” He counters with a grin and I flip him off smirking as he gets back in the car.

“We’re gonna go check out the Big Spot. The one I was talkin’ about-- just seeing.” Daryl tells Rick, turning back to each other.

“Yeah, I gotta go out and check the snares. I don’t wanna lose whatever we catch to the walkers.” Rick announces.

“I’ll come with you.” Michonne declares. “You don’t have to, I’m fine on my own.” Rick argues.

“I want to.” She states. “Give me a minute to brush her down and we’ll go.” She adds before starting to lead the horse off to the stable.

“Can I come?” Carl asks.

“No, you stay here. You can take over from Michonne brushing Flash down, that way we can leave sooner.” He begins gesturing over to Michonne putting Flash in her stable. “Do your chores. Read comics. Maybe some books too. Hang out with Patrick. Maybe go to story time.” Rick instructs.

“Dad, that’s for kids.” Carl protests.

“Yeah.” Rick replies with amusement. Carl was still a kid and he forgot that sometimes. He nods in confirmation and heads over to the stables.

Rick turns back to Daryl and I, to see us both looking a him. “What?” he questions.

“Are you takin’ your gun?” Daryl asks. Rick just sighs, looking around, not answering and Daryl and I share a quick look. He’d been going out into the woods without his gun for a while and it was making people uneasy, they wanted to know he was being safe out there.

“Nothing wrong with staying close, Rick. Everyone understands. You’re growing us enough food, so we won’t need to do runs soon.” I begin. “But we do have to find you a good pair of overalls. You need to look the part.” I joke, making the conversation a little lighter before telling him what everyone had been talking about and I get a small smile from him. “A little piece of wheat out the corner of your mouth, maybe a bigger ass.” I continue with a smirk, Daryl too.

“Yeah.” He nods with a chuckle.

“Listen, the rest of the council-- Hershel, Glenn, Carol, Sasha- all of ‘em—they wanted me to talk to you. When you go out there, you gotta take your gun.” I announce. 

“It’s just outside the fence. I have my knife. If I get in trouble, six bullets isn’t going to make the difference. Besides, Michonne’s coming too now. She’ll have a gun.” He argues. 

“Rick, we want you to be safe. Bring your gun.” I state. We stare for a moment and he looks to Daryl, who does a small nod to him. Rick looks down before finally nodding himself. I pat his shoulder, giving him a comforting smile, before walking back to the car.


	3. three

“Army came in, put these fences up, made it a place for the people to go. Last week, when we spotted this place, there was a bunch of walkers behind this chain link, keepin’ people out like a bunch of guard dogs.” Daryl explains to Bob outside the fence surrounding the entrance of the Big Stop store, which was now empty of walkers, as music plays in the distance. 

“So, they all just left?” Bob asks.

“Give a listen.” I say.

“You drew them out. Clever.” he points out.

“Put a boom box out there three days ago.” Glenn states.

“Hooked it up to two car batteries. I’d like to say I thought of it myself.” Sasha adds with a smirk.

I nudge her lightly, smiling. “You did all the heavy lifting.” I counter as Daryl moves to the hole in the fence chain link we’d made, so the walkers would get out and follow the music, making it clear for us to enter today.

“Alright, let’s make a sweep. Make sure it’s safe. Grab what you can. We’ll come back tomorrow with more people.” Daryl instructs walking through the fence as we all follow behind. 

Making our way cautiously through the derelict army encampment, it was a mess. The small camp was in tatters with dead bodies wasted away scattered around it and everything broken and knocked around. But all the walkers had gone, having left because the music. Next to the entrance, we stood and sat around it, not going in straight away in case of any walkers inside. Daryl sat against a window ledge and knocked on the window with his elbow, to draw any walkers inside to the entrance so we could take them out easier without any surprises. 

“Just give it a second.” He says and begin waiting.

“Okay, I think I got it.” Zach suddenly announces after a moment.

“Got what?” I ask, stepping around the store entrance as Zach leans on the wall.

“Oh, I’ve been trying to guess what Daryl did before the turn.” Zach answers, moving off the wall to side near Daryl on the window ledge as I take his place leaning on the wall.

“He’s been trying to guess for, like, six weeks.” Daryl states.

“I’m pacing myself. One shot a day.” Zach points out.

“Alright, shoot.” Daryl urges.

“Well, the way you are at the prison, you being on the council, you’re able to track, you’re helping people, but you’re still being kid of, erh- surly.” Zach begins theorises and I smile at his theory. “Now big swing here.” he continues, creating a pause between his answer. “Homicide cop.” He finally says and I laugh at the idea.

Daryl gives me a look, with the slightest of smirks. “What’s so funny?” he questions.

“Nothing. It makes perfect sense.” I cheerfully answer with a grin.

“Actually, the man’s right. Undercover.” Daryl confirms. Zach looks to me in a quick glance before back to Daryl in astonishment.

“Come on, really?” he asks.

“Yep. I mean, I don’t like to talk about it because it was a lot of heavy shit, you know?” Daryl explains, before shooting me a sly smirk before facing away and I smile at his obvious joke.

“Dude, come on, really?” Zach questions.

Daryl looks back to him with just a look that says he was taking the piss.

“Okay. I’ll just keep guessing, I guess.” Zach says.

“Yeah, you keep doing that.” Daryl replies as walkers finally come up to the window at his knocking and pound against it.

Daryl springs up from the window ledge, making his way around me to the entrance doors. “We gonna do this, detective?” I tease.

“Alright, you.” He retorts as Tyreese hands him some bolt cutters while I unsheathe my katana. 

Once we took down the few walkers that had accumulated at the entrance, dragging them out the way from the doorway, we readied to go in.

“Alright. We go in, we stay in formation for the sweep. After that, you all know what you’re supposed to look for.” Sasha directs before we make our way inside and begin the sweep through the store.

Having made sure that the store was secure from walkers, we began our scavenge around the aisles for food and any supplies we could take today before coming back with more people tomorrow for the rest. I was pushing a trolley around I’d found, leaning against its handrail holding a torch, pushing it around when I came round a corner and saw a figure of a walker. It made me jump slightly as I shone my torch on it. Seeing that it was in fact, a cardboard cut out of a zombie with the words ‘monster savings’ written on it about some kind of deal on dvds, I looked at it with annoyance. Taking my katana out it’s case off my back, I brought it down on the cardboard cut out’s head, slicing it down the middle to it’s centre and flinging it away to the side before carrying on down the aisle. What an ironic and annoying display. 

Shortly after, a sudden crashing noise erupted through the store and I rushed towards it. “What happened?” I call.

“It’s alright. We’re over at wine and beer.” Zach yells back and I make my way over with others.

When the rest of the group and I get there, we see Bob is caught beneath a fallen aisle. Daryl, Zach and Tyreese are pulling it up, piece by piece, to free him as we come up next to them.

“I was moving fast, man. I drove right into the drinks.” Bob declares. 

“You lucked out. If this thing had come down on you the wrong way—” I begin to point out when the ceiling suddenly collapses behind us and we see a walker snarling above. It’s guts was caught in the remnants of the broken ceiling, leaving it hanging in the air, swinging.

We all looked at it in surprise. “Yeah, uh, we should probably go now.” Glenn calls.

“Bob’s still stuck. Get him out of here! Y/N get out now!” Daryl shouts.

“I can help! I’ll get the others!” I yell back. “No! Out now!” he screams as he helps, with Zach and Tyreese, get Bob out when walkers, one after the other, begin falling through the ceiling.

They start falling all around us. Some were killed upon impact on the floor, smashing their heads against the ground but some lived, so to speak, landing on aisles or various things that softened their landing. We all started to fight them off. gunshots rang and I swung my sword at the approaching walkers. There wasn’t even a moment to think about anything as one walkers came at you after another whilst more continued to fall from above. The roof was obviously rotted. I could hear Bob still crying out for help as I fought walkers back. I’d been pushed back and was separated from seeing the others, but I sliced my way through, wanting to see Daryl was okay. When I eventually cut my way through, I find Daryl standing on a tier of beer boxes surrounded by walkers. He’s shooting at some as I come towards them and take a few out myself. I suddenly notice that from above him, from the looks of it, a helicopter was about to fall and collapse through the roof.

Looking up at it before taking down another couple walkers, I shout to him. “Daryl, go!” he looks up and quickly kills a walker in his way before rushing off the stack of boxed out from under the spot. I cover him as he makes his way back to Bob with Zach. They resume helping him out from under the fallen aisle as the roof starts to fall considerably, but they manage to get him out.

“Come on, time to go!” he yells as we all move off to rush out when someone suddenly screams above the destruction. We all look back to see it is Zach. A walker had him caught by the ankle and was biting him before pulling him down to the floor. “Zach!” I scream after him in despair as the walker bites into his neck. 

“Go, go, go!” Daryl shouts to us all, seeing the helicopter was about to finally fall through and Zach was a lost cause. We all rush to get out just as the roof collapses behind us. 

Back at the prison, we’d all gone our separate ways, splitting off to our own cells and other halves, not having spoke in our vehicles. Anyone we lost now was a hard hit to everyone. We’d made lives here together, so no matter who you were, when we lost someone it was always a big blow. I was sat with Rick in the cellblock, telling him about the events of the run while Daryl went to talk to Beth about Zach. Rick was holding Judith as I went through what happened, cradling her in his arms and once I’d informed him on the run he told me about what had happened out checking the snares. A woman had stumbled upon him and Michonne whilst they checked all the snares. They’d intended to bring her in, upon the meeting of her partner she’d talked about, but it had turned out the partner she talked about was dead. She had brought them back in the attempt to kill them for her dead baby she had kept. Upon reflection, both stories were quite distressing when you thought about it, but it was our world now. although, the things that had happened were sad, not much came as an absolute shock anymore. Things had started to become more just sad and deflating thoughts.

“You tried to help her. You couldn’t. No one could. Some people are too far gone. You’re not. You tried to help her.” I assure Rick, talking of the woman he had spoke of. 

“How that woman wound up, I got close to that. If I lost Carl and Judith, if I lost this place--,” Rick began.

“Not then, Rick. Not even then.” I interject and he looks slightly unconvinced. “You came back. Carl came back. We’ve all lost something, and we’ve all come back from it. You get to come back. You do.” I add.

He acknowledges my words with a slight nod as he rocked Judith, supporting her head as he gave her kiss when Daryl begins coming down the stairs from the perch.

“Beth okay? How’d she take it?” I ask as he comes in front of us, not wanting to call it out.

“Surprisingly well. To be honest, she seemed a little desensitised to it.” Daryl answers.

“Can’t blame her. Some people get that way.” Rick assures. Daryl nods looking a little deflated. 

“Are you okay?” I question.

“Yeah. Just tired of losing people.” He sombrely admits. I get up from the table Rick and I are sat at, stepping forward to Daryl, I plant a light kiss on his cheek and bring him into a gentle embrace. “We all are.” I whisper at his shoulder.

We hold each other for a short moment until Daryl breaks from our hold. “I gotta take watch. I’ll see ya in the mornin’.” He states, looking to both Rick and I before heading out the cellblock.

I sit back down at the table as I watch him leave, a slight moment of silence between Rick and I as he does.

“Carl told me something today about Lizzie and Mika.” He suddenly announces and I look at him waiting for the follow up. “He heard them at the fence, talking with the walkers- apparently giving a couple names.” He continues.

I let out a big sigh, shaking my head as I looked down. “Well- I suppose that’ll be Woodbury’s work. What they were doing with the walkers in the pits probably didn’t help. Taught them to be less afraid.” I theorise.

“Yeah-- perhaps you should talk to them.” Rick suggests.

“Shouldn’t you be saying this to their father.” I point out.

“Maybe. But those girls like you. They look up to you. They’ll no doubt listen to you more than their father.” He states. “Isn’t that the way kids work- they listen to anyone but their parents.” He lightly jokes with a smile, which I mirror. 

It soon fades though. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow.” I declare and he nods in approval.

“Night, Rick.” I say as I stand from the table. “Night, ass-kicker.” I add, bending over to kiss her head, hearing a scoff of amusement from Rick. “Night, Y/N.” he replies before I head for the stairs to my cell.

When I wake in the morning, I find Daryl still hasn’t returned to our cell. It was still a little early; his watch had to be over soon. Having decided to go see him, walking into the courtyard I could see his figure up in the guard tower, leant against the railing as he looked out. I make my way up the stairwell of the tower, coming into the top through the hatch. He’s still stood by the railing but turns when he hears the hatch creak and open. I see that he’s smoking one of his cigarettes from a found carton as I slowly step towards the balcony, holding something behind my back from him. 

“Mornin’.” He says, watching me come onto the balcony, but I don’t step over to him I instead lean against the wall. “Good morning- Mr. Dixon.” I smile.

“Alright.” He retorts with a smirk, turning marginally to put his cigarette out on the railing now I’d come up.

“Wait.” I softly blurt. He looks over at me slightly puzzled before I bring an old camera out from behind my back. It was an old polaroid, still with a few shots left, I’d found months ago on a run with Michonne and I’d forgotten about it until this morning. When I accidently kicked my shoe under the bunk earlier, I’d found it amongst some other things and decided to bring it with me, actually using it once. 

Daryl looks at the camera. “No.” he immediately states.

“Come on, please.” I insist, holding a happy stare on him in an effort to convince him.

It takes a second, but he eventually groans and flaps his hands out to the side, giving in. Leant against the balcony railing, cigarette in hand, his crossbow standing up against the railing also beside him, he stands there looking at me with a plain expression waiting for the photo to be taken. As soon as he hears the click of the camera, he breaks his stance, taking a drag of his cigarette before dropping it and putting it out under his boot.

“Okay, give it to me.” he gently orders, stepping towards me as he exhaled smoke out the side of his mouth.

“No, I’m keeping it.” I smirk, gripping the polaroid tight as I put it into my jean pocket.

“Naw, the camera. Your turn.” He clarifies.

“No, I’ve only got a couple shots left and I want to save them.” I protest.

“Ya got one of me. Now I get one of you. Only fair.” He argues with a small smirk.

His expression easily makes me give in, smiling back at him as I hand him the camera. I stay leant against the wall, standing there without much of a pose much like he had done, except I smiled for him. After the click, he pulls the polaroid from the camera and puts it into his inner jacket pocket. As he hands the camera back to me, I take it from him, caressing his hand as I do. Looking up at him with a now devious smile, with my free hand I stroke his arm up and down lightly. 

“So- the guard tower-- pretty romantic. Wanna screw around?” I playfully ask.

Daryl snorts. “Stop.”

I giggle a little. “I mean, Glenn and Maggie have been holding it hostage for quite a while. We get a moment, and, what- you don’t want to?” I jokingly tease as he stands still before me.

“Nah, it’s just-,” he begins as he rests his hand beside my head against the wall before leaning into my ear. “They’ll all hear you.” He whispers, teasing right back.

I nudge him. “Real funny, Dixon.” I retort as he chuckles to himself leaning back up. “But you’ve never complained before now, have you?” I mock, with a smirk.

“Mmhmm.” He mumbles back with the same expression, his hand still leant against the wall, trapping me beneath him.

I can’t contain myself any longer and pull his face into mine, locking his lips with my own. It was deep and passionate, yet still gentle and loving. His hands caressing my neck and shoulders, soft yet rough. It was everything that he was. 

When I finally broke the kiss, I slide out from under him. Where ya goin’?” he asks, stopping me in the doorway.

“I got what I wanted.” I state with a smirk, before stepping inside the guard tower.

I didn’t take more than two steps before Daryl was striding in front of me. “Just saw Maggie. Change of guard.” He announces passing me. “I’ll get the hatch.” He adds approaching it. 

He was always doing things for me now, things that required the smallest of efforts, like bending over to open the hatch for example. I was suddenly amused a little, thinking how he probably wouldn’t have been impressed with the amount of effort I went through earlier to get the camera out from under the bunk.

“Mm. I like watching you walk from behind.” I tease deviously. 

“Shut up.” He snorts to me, now at the hatch. He begins bending over to open it. “Oh, look- even better.” I joke, still smirking. 

“Alright.” He says, mirroring my smile, as he stood waiting for me to leave through the hatch.

Coming out the guard tower, a few of the group were awake. Rick and Carl were walking through the yard, as I noticed they’d just let Michonne go, doing the gates. She was leaving and I’d bet she was leaving now to avoid protesting because I had no doubt she was going to Macon like she had suggested. But who was I, to stop her and Rick hadn’t stopped her, so I let it be. Maggie had greeted us at the bottom of the guard tower as she went up for her watch. Daryl and I had just closed the courtyard gate when suddenly two gun shots rang, but they had come from inside the prison. 

“Help! Help! Please, come quick!” Lizzie screamed as she and Mika came running out the prison towards us.

“Cell blocks?” Rick shouts from the yard, running up to the gate with Carl.

“I don’t know!” Maggie yells back from up the guard tower as Lizzie and Mika run into me. Daryl was back at the gate, opening it for Rick.

“Get in the tower with Maggie. Don’t argue and don’t come down unless you’re told. Go.” I order the girls and they rush towards the guard tower as Glenn and Carol come out of C block armed, heading towards D. Rick, Daryl and I rush over to follow them.

“Walkers in D!” Glenn calls.

“What about C?” Rick screams.

“It’s clear. We locked the gates to the tombs. Hershel’s on guard.” Sasha announces as she and Tyreese come rushing out C block armed too as we come past it. 

“It ain’t a breach.” Tyreese adds as we follow the others. “We follow the plan.” Sasha states.

“Y/N you stay here!” Daryl yells back to me.

“I’m not standing here and doing nothing.” I retort back, keeping up with the rest of them. 

“That’s exactly what you do!” he snaps back, spinning around quickly to yell it before continuing to run for cell block D, with the others. If there wasn’t a breach like Tyreese said, how the hell did this happen?


	4. four

I’d watched them run in, stood there helpless, fidgeting on the spot in the courtyard. I didn’t like being told to stay and I didn’t like waiting. I continued to hear shots and screams; it wasn’t long until I couldn’t contain myself. I realised that Lizzie and Mika’s dad was in D. He was all they had. I ignored Daryl’s order, unsheathing my katana and rushed inside to D.

As I came in, the cellblock was in turmoil. Bodies were laid around, dead. I could see Rick, Daryl and others helping people at the other end of the block into cells to protect them from any walkers left, although the bottom floor looked clear, the top may not. People were screaming and crying around the cellblock; I hoped Ryan, the girl’s dad, wasn’t one of them screaming in pain. Striding through, however, I quickly found him under the stairs, crying in pain with a walker over him. Glenn was there, though, and killed the walker. Both of us were helping him up when I saw he was bit on his arm. Shit. 

“Go. I got him.” I assure Glenn and he moves off to help the others with a quick nod.

I helped Ryan into the closest cell, the first of the block. I was going to have to amputate to save him. “Stay calm.” I say, putting him on the bunk before shutting the cell door. 

“We’re going to have to amputate in order to stop the infection from spreading.” I declare, moving over to his draws to grab a belt on top of it. I begin wrapping it around his upper arm; the bite being on his forearm, tightening it as much as I could.

“We have to do it now. I want you to bite this.” I announce, looking to him, putting the end of the belt into his mouth.

I stand over him, putting my hand to his forehead to feel for a fever and he was starting to rise in temperature. I go to move him into a position better for me to quickly slice his arm. I pull him up to a sit, motioning for him to help me move him around the bunk, so his arm would be laid off the edge, easier to get to. But when I laid him back down the other way, I suddenly noticed he had a severe scratch on his neck, oozing blood down his back. Shit.

I sat beside him on the bed staring at his scratch for a second, processing. There was nothing I could do. He was whimpering slightly, probably in shock and pain from it all, when I began to unbuckle the belt from his arm. 

“It’s happening, isn’t it?” he breathes, sounding broken.

“You’re in shock, okay? I want you just to lay back.” I calmly instruct, holding his hand at his side. I looked over him; he was breathing heavy and it was upsetting to watch. He was a good man and a good father to those girls. 

“Lizzie and Mika, you care about them. I’ve seen it. They don’t have anybody else. Kids on their own, they don’t have a chance.” He cries. I could feel tears coming but I tried holding them back. “Can you look out for them? Like they’re yours?” he pleads.

The request was something that struck doubt in me at my ability to do so, but he didn’t need to see that, not now. So, I as I held his hand I gave him a weak, sad smile.

“Yeah. Yeah, I can. I will.” I answer, my tears falling now as his does.

He looks up at the top bunk, breathing heavy, as if he were ready to go.

“Ryan, you’re going to have to let them say goodbye. Okay?” I point out and he sadly nods as I squeeze his hand in comfort, feeling him squeeze back as both of us knew what was going to happen.

The cellblock was somewhat quieter now. Coming out the cell, people were starting to come out the others. Looking around at their dead as Daryl, Rick, Glenn and others were still up top somewhere, probably checking all the cells. I’d gone back outside into the courtyard and called up for the girls to come down. I didn’t say much to them, not exactly sure what to say, just that their dad needed to see them and that he was hurt real bad and we couldn’t help him. 

Some people were leaving the cellblock as we arrived, holding one another as they cried over their family and friends while some others were still here literally crouched crying over theirs. I directed Lizzie and Mika into the cell Ryan was in, both them already upset before they even saw him.

I stayed by the cell door so they could share a final moment together without me stood right there.

“Dad?” Mika whimpers as they both came to stand by Ryan, who was now very weak.

“We have to go get Dr. S.” Lizzie cries turning around to me.

“Mika, he’s been bit. The doctor can’t help, I’m sorry.” I sadly inform her before she turns back to her dad.

Ryan lifts his hand slightly and they both grab hold of it. “Take care of your sister.” He whispers, only just getting his words out as the girls look and cry over him.

I’m sure I hear him take a last breath and when the girls both look down to his hand, I realise he did. His grip had clearly loosened, and they’d felt it as Lizzie quietly called to him. She shook him a little as Mika started to breath heavy, looking over to me. I stepped forward, holding Lizzie at her sides to pull her back from her dad.

“Come on, it’s time.” I say as I lead both of the to the cell door, Lizzie repeatedly saying no under her breath. “You know what I have to do. What we’re always supposed to do. You can wait outside if you want, okay?” I explain before turning back around. But as I step towards the bunk, taking my knife from my belt, I feel one of the girls tug my arm, stopping me. It was lizzie. She looked at me, before facing back to her sister, Mika. 

“We should be the ones.” She quietly says, a lot more composed than Mika who had tears streaming still while Lizzie had stopped. “No, I can’t.” she cries, shaking her head. 

Lizzie looks back to me as I look back down at her. “Are you sure?” I ask.

She nods. “I know what to do. I can do it.” she states.

I’m a little reluctant but I couldn’t say no, if that was what she wanted to do and it was her dad, her family. “Okay, well you have to do it now. You need to do it right now because you have to do it before he turns.” I tell her, handing my knife over, touching her shoulder in comfort. “I’m going to stay right here, if you need, okay?” I add as she steps forward with the knife up in her hand.

Looking down on her dad, she stands there holding the knife but wasn’t moving, she was hesitating but who could blame her. After a moment she started to breath heavy and took a step back so immediately took one forward behind her. Holding her back and arm, she drops the knife as she stares at her dad.

“Lizzie, Lizzie, it’s okay. It’s okay. You can leave, it’s fine.” I assure turning her ti face me and not her dad, while she begins to hyperventilate. I look back to Mika and she comes forward to comfort Lizzie.

“Lizzie, Lizzie it’s okay. Breathe.” She says, now having stopped crying and holding her sister herself as I pick up my knife from the floor. “Here, look at the flowers, look at the flowers. Count one, two, three for me.” Mika continues as I stand over Ryan at the bunk.

They both start counting together, looking at the flowers that was on the chest of draws, away from their dad. As I hold Ryan’s head and hold the knife over him, I hear Lizzie cry for her dad, only for Lizzie to press her to keep looking at the flowers and count. As they resume counting again and I look down at Ryan, about to do it.

“Look at the flowers, Lizzie.” I sadly say as I push my knife into his head. Lizzie cries out again as Mika holds her, both of them starting off again into a fit of cries. I wipe my knife before putting it back into its holster and moving over to the girls. I hold both of them for a moment, letting them get out their tears as the last few of mine fell.

When I led the girls out the cell, wanting to get them out of this place as soon as they were able, I saw the guys were leaving the cellblock. Rick and Daryl just catch glimpse of us at the back of the group, stopping at the cellblock door. 

“Thought I told ya to stay outside.” Daryl says but he wasn’t angry, he just sounded slightly distressed.

“I know, but I’m here. I had to be.” I retort, looking back to the cell where we’d left Ryan, before nodding back down to the girls in front of me, silently telling him why best I could. 

“Come on, we gotta get out of here. Shouldn’t be in here longer than we already have.” Rick instructs. 

“Why, what’s wrong?” I question as we all start to walk out.

“Some kind of flu, it moves fast.” Daryl announces as we walk away from the cellblock.

“We shouldn’t get too close to anyone who hasn’t been exposed. At least for a little while.” Rick adds and I come to a stop in the hall, making the others do the same. 

“You girls go on ahead. Stay together, alright.” I order them gently and they nod, tears still in their eyes as they walk away. I watch them walk away before turning back to Rick and Daryl.

“Are we sure it’s a flu? Could it have been a breach?” I question. 

“No, there’s no breach. It’s definitely this. Dr. S is sure.” Rick confirms. 

“We think Patrick died last night. Attacked the cellblock.” Daryl explains.

I let out a sigh. “So, what’s our next move?” I ask.

“You guys have got a council meeting.” Rick announces. 

“Come on, we’re doin’ it now.” Daryl adds, motioning for us to leave.

In the library, we all gathered at the table. Spread out around it, we begin to discuss what it was we were now facing. Hershel was explaining what Dr. S had said about the two people they’d found dead with no bites or scratches when Daryl and I walked in. It wasn’t just Patrick that had died from this flu, it was Charlie from that block too.

“Patrick was fine yesterday, and he died overnight. Two people died that quick? We’ll have to separate everyone that’s been exposed.” I announce.

“That’s everyone in that cellblock. That’s us here. Maybe more.” Daryl points out.

“We know that this sickness can be lethal. We don’t know how easily it spreads. Is anyone else showing symptoms that we know of?” Hershel asks. 

“We can’t just wait and see, there’s children. I mean, it isn’t just the illness we’re facing- people die, they become a threat.” I state.

“We need a place for them to go. They can’t stay in D.” Sasha points out.

“She’s right. We can’t risk going in there to clean it up.” Hershel backs.

“We could use cell block A?” Carol suggests.

“Death row? Not sure that’s much of an upgrade.” Glenn questions.

“It’s clean. That’s an upgrade.” Daryl states.

“Think that’ll work for Dr. S?” I ask Hershel.

“I’ll help Caleb get it set up.” Hershel replies just before we all hear coughing coming from outside in the hall. Looking to the doorway, we all get up and follow the sound to see who it was.

“You sure? You don’t sound so good.” Carol says, replying to whoever was coughing, as she came out the room first, the rest of us behind her.

“We’re just taking her back to my cell so she can rest.” Tyreese replies as I see it’s him and Karen when I come to stand in the doorway by everyone else in the hall. Karen’s cellblock was the one attacked, D, and he was intending on taking her to ours in C. Judith was in that cellblock, she couldn’t go near it.

“Tyreese, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I announce. 

“Why, what’s going on now?” Karen asks as their expressions turn a little worried.

“We think it’s a flu or something. That’s how Patrick died.” Glenn explains.

“Judith is in that cellblock. She’s vulnerable. Anyone that may be sick, or even exposed, should stay away.” Hershel states, having the same thoughts as me.

“It killed Patrick?” Karen questions, sounding a little concerned.

“She’s going to be okay. Now that we know what Patrick died from, we can treat it, right?” Tyreese quickly adds.

“Don’t panic. We’re going to figure this out, but we should keep you separated in the meantime. We’ll have Caleb take a look at you, I’ll see what we have in the way of medications.” Hershel assures.

“David-- David, he’s been coughing too.” Karen announces and the group look at each other deflated.

“I’ll get him.” Glenn says. “I’ll help.” Carol replies.

He nods before they start to move off. “There’s some empty clean cells in the tombs, right?” Glenn asks us as they start walking off.

“Yeah, we’ll meet you there.” Sasha answers before gesturing over for Karen and Tyreese to follow. “Come on. Let’s get you settled.” She comforts best she can, leading them away to the tombs.

“We’ll have to call another meeting later.” Hershel says to Daryl and I.

“Alright. I’ll get to buryin’ the dead ones. And don’t even think about helpin’, Y/N.” Daryl states, but I don’t do or say anything in protest, processing everything.

“You wear gloves and a mask.” Hershel orders. “Mmhmm.” Daryl mutters in answer before Hershel leaves.

I could feel Daryl’s stare on me and I look up to him to see he looked slightly concerned. “You alright?” he questions.

“Yeah, just worried about Lizzie and Mika. They were around Patrick.” I answer.

“We all were. Karen and David are gonna be separated ‘til they feel better.” He points out.

“You’re right.” I agree. “You okay?” I ask.

He nods unconvincingly. “Mmhmm. Gotta be.” He replies before walking off to begin burying the dead.

I had been looking around for Lizzie and Mika after the meeting. Wanting to see they were alright, or as good as they could be after what happened. I’d found them outside, when looking out into the yard, seeing they were by the crops at the fence.

“We’re gonna bury your dad. You can visit. Bring him flowers.” I softly announce to them both, coming to their side at the fence, but neither of them say a word. Mika stands and looks to me but turns away sadly. Lizzie stays sat at the fence, not looking at me at all.

“Lizzie, hey, can I talk to you about what happened in there?” I urge but she rises to a stand and walks along the fence, ignoring me.

“Your dad asked me to protect you like you’re my own. And I will.” I tell them, holding Mika to my side, as I walked to Lizzie.

Breaking from Mika, I touch Lizzie’s arm, getting her attention to me as she continued looking out the fence. I could see she was holding back tears that now started to flow.

“Lizzie, what happened in there. You lost your nerve. You have to trust your gut, and you- you have to act fast every time. Okay? Because you can’t lose your nerve. You- you can’t be weak. You’re both gonna have to learn to be strong with this sort of thing. If you want to survive you have to. I can help you, alright?” I explain as gently as I can, holding Lizzie in front of me but she continues to look out the fence.

“He’s dead.” Lizzie sniffles and I bring her in for a hug. “I know, and I’m sorry.” I reply.

She pushes from me suddenly, looking outside the fence once again. “He’s dead. He’s dead. He was special and now he’s dead. Why’d they kill him? Why would they kill Nick?” Lizzie bursts, seeming angry through her cries. I look at her confused, looking out the fence.

“You’re so stupid.” Mika mutters and Lizzie runs away.

I watch her run off back up the yard before looking back out the fence. “Nick?” I mumble to myself. Scanning around the fence, seeing dead walkers around it, the realisation hits. I remember what Rick had told me; that Carl had heard them naming walkers. Lizzie had clearly named one Nick, and somehow become attached to it. I mean, she was crying over that, at this time, after her father just died. This was something that was going to take a while to fix.

I look to Mika, who was looking up to me with sadness still in her eyes, but considering she hadn’t been like Lizzie, I figured she was grieving the right thing. 

“She’s messed up. But she’s not weak.” She defends. “I know.” I reply before she heads after her sister. 

Watching them go up the yard, I see Daryl in the far corner, starting to dig the graves. He was alone, and even if he didn’t allow me to help in anyway, I could at least keep him company. But as I walked over, getting closer, I heard someone call to me from behind. I turned to see Rick and I stood waiting for him to catch up.

“You okay?” I ask as comes to my side. “Been better.” He answers, as we continue walking over to Daryl.

“Haven’t we all.” I say as we near him.

Daryl has his head scarf wrapped around his face as a mask while digging in the first grave, behind the ones we’ve had since the start. He stops when he notices us approach. 

“So, what did the council come to?” he questions us both, picking up a shovel as I stand by the graves in front. 

“Not much. We’re meeting again later. In the meantime, we’re separating the people who were exposed and who are sick from those that aren’t.” I explain. He nods, standing between me and Daryl still in the grave. 

“Glad you were in there.” Daryl muffles from under his mask, looking back up to Rick.

“Wasn’t much use without my gun.” Rick retorts.

“Nah, you were.” He assures, pulling his mask down beforehand. 

“All this time you’ve been taking off, you’ve earned it. We wouldn’t be here without you.” I state.

“It was all of us.” Rick counters.

“No, it was you first.” Daryl declares.

“So you goin’ to help us figure this out?” I question.

“I screwed up too many times. Those calls you gotta make, I start down that road- I almost lost my boy, who he was. Whatever else this place needs, I’m here for it.” Rick defends as Daryl gets out from the grave.

“Like I said, you earned it. But for what it’s worth, you see mistakes. I see when the shit hits, you’re standing there with the shovel.” Daryl points out.

Rick faces me after hearing Daryl’s words and I shrug at him, showing I agreed. He looks down at the shovel but doesn’t even have time to reply when we hear someone call from across the yard.

“Rick!” Maggie shouts as she points to a big group of walkers herded up together at the fence, pushing on it so much it was starting to warp over. “Oh, shit.” Rick mutters before we all start to run over. Both Rick and Daryl running ahead as I ran behind to keep up.

They approached the gates into the fence walkway as I came past opposite the courtyard gate, where others were running out from to help. Coming through the gate into the walkway, we heard Maggie call out again as she holds one of the fence weapons, stabbing a few through the fence.

“The noise drew them out, now this part’s starting to give.” She yells.

We all spread out along the space the group of walkers were warping inwards. Being the last to approach, I walk up past everyone taking the end. All of us, Rick, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, Sasha and Tyreese and I were using the wooden sticks, crow bars, pipes, all the fence weapons to take as many out as we could. While we stabbed the walkers through the chain link, I suddenly noticed something on the floor to the side of me that was odd.

“Are you seeing this?” I call to the others, looking down at a collection of dead, gnawn on rats, as others stepped towards to look. “Is someone feeding these things?” Sasha questions. “Would explain why most of them are herding up like this.” I rationalise just as the fence starts to give way from the walkers.

“Heads up.” Daryl yells as we all rush to the middle to take out more walkers but it keeps moving down.

“It’s gonna give, it’s gonna give!” Rick shouts as we start to push on the fence. 

Holding it as best we could for as long as we could, we move back after a moment at Daryl’s call.

“Back, come on, back, now.” he yells and we all move backwards, the fence staying in its bent place but it wouldn’t be for long. 

“The fence keeps bending in like that those walkers are coming over it.” I exclaim.

We all look around at each other, not sure on how to tackle this. “Daryl, get the truck. I know what to do.” Rick eventually announces and they both move off without hesitation.

“Get the logs ready to support the fence when we’re out there. And be ready at the gate for us.” Rick orders as he strides off with Daryl running ahead.

“Alright, let’s go. Maggie help me with the gate when it’s time.” I instruct as we all rush to follow behind them to fulfil the plan. 

Glenn, Sasha and Tyreese were stood at the fence, ready with the logs as they took out some more walkers through the chain link while Maggie and I began opening the gates as Daryl sped a truck out the prison. Rick was in the back, and they had loaded the piglets into the back. They were most likely sick from the flu that had started to spread, seeing as our pig had died during the night and quickly from what Rick said.

We watched them drive to the herd gathered at the bent part of fence, they turned near them so the truck was facing back to the prison entrance and the back was pointed at the walkers. They stopped ahead of them, keeping a long enough distance away, before Rick grabbed the first piglet. The truck’s noise had drawn a few from the back of the group away from the fence but when the piglet began squealing as Rick picked it up, it drew a lot of them away. He had dropped the piglet from the back of the truck and judging by the noise I heard it make from the fence just before, he had cut it or hurt it some way before sacrificing it to the walkers. It wasn’t a nice thing to watch as you heard the piglets squeal in pain, but it worked. They did it three times with the three piglets we had and it spread the walkers out. When Rick and Daryl drove back in, I could see Rick’s, now blood splattered, face looked broken by what he’d just had to do. Glenn, Sasha and Tyreese had put the big wooden logs up against the fence to support while they spread the walkers out away from the fence and for the moment, the fence was somewhat secure. But if they did that again, we’d need something stronger than those logs to stop them from caving that part of the fence in completely.

When we were content that the walkers weren’t going to cave the fence in, having now come back up to the fence but were spread out across the length of it all, we all split off. Rick had gone over to his pigpen while the others went on guard or back to the prison. Coming back up the yard from the walkway with the group, I had spotted Lizzie and Mika were standing out by the fence again, near the crops, where they had been before. I wondered how long they’d been there; if they had watched what happened at the fence. I told Daryl to head up without me, that I’d come back up in a second with the girls before making my way over to them.

“Did you see what happened at the fence?” I ask as I came up behind the girls, both stood at the fence.

“Yes. You stopped the walkers from coming inside.” Mika answers turning to face me.

“Exactly. Because they’re dangerous. They’re not our friends.” I clarify. Thinking about how Lizzie called one Nick and how if anyone was actually feeding these things, it was most likely her.

“Lizzie, those are walkers. Nick was a walker. You don’t feel bad about that walker dying, you feel bad about your dad.” I continue.

She doesn’t look at me, just keeps clinging onto the fence. “Yeah.” I hear her mutter.

Hearing the pain in her voice, I step forward to the fence. Crouching down, I take my knife and cut one of the tiny yellow flowers, before rising back to a stand. I turn to lizzie and tuck it behind her ear. “There.” I say and she gives me a sad smile, which I return to her. She looks down to my hand and gently takes my knife from me. Her sad smile almost turns to one of pride as she seems to proudly place it in her belt. Perhaps she finally understood, and that’s why I let her keep it.


	5. five

Today had already been hard enough with the flu and walkers first thing in cellblock D and then the walkers at the fence. It seemed things were spiralling just as fast as the flu had and was spreading because just when I thought the day couldn’t possibly chuck anything worse at us, it did. Everything had happened so early and quite a few hours had passed, going midday, when Tyreese found me looking the most distressed and enraged I’d seen him. He’d told me that he needed people to come see something and asked where Rick was. I knew since Hershel had helped Dr. S get A block set up, he was still helping in there and carting out a few new bodies to be buried. Which Daryl and Rick were now burying together after Rick had burned the pigpen. So, I knew where they were and brought Tyreese out into the yard. He hadn’t said much to them either, just that we had to see something and then directed us through the tombs to the small, gated space outside it let to. As we walked through the tombs I knew whatever it was Tyreese wanted us to see wasn’t good; we were following two trails of blood through the tombs. While we walked the realisation started to click as to who or what we were being led to see. Just before we walked outside into the small square space, I could smell something awful, like something was burning and then what we saw was disturbing and not what I was expecting, but then I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to see. Tyreese told us it was Karen and David as soon as we all walked out looking at the two bodies burnt beyond recognition. All of us looked on at the display with disturbance as Tyreese stared looking broken, suddenly seeming to have calmed through his grief.

“You found ‘em like this?” Rick questions as we all stand around Tyreese and the two bodies. He was stood in front of us, looking down at one of the bodies in particular. He and Karen were together, and I couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now.

Tyreese turned to face us, looking to Rick. “I came to see Karen.” He begins before looking to the door. “Yeah, I saw the blood on the floor.” He points out, gesturing to the blood trails and back to the bodies. “And then I smelled it.” he adds, his voice low.

“Somebody dragged ‘em out here and set ‘em on fire! They killed ‘em and set ‘em on fire!” he yells suddenly, his rage starting to spike up again. None of us know what to say.

Tyreese looks to all of us, before landing on Rick and stepping towards him with a quick movement, jolting Rick back a step in reflex. Daryl moved at the same time behind them and it made me alert, all of us thinking he was about to do something.

“You’re a cop. You find out who did this and you ring ‘em to me, you understand? You bring ‘em to me!” Tyreese exclaims. 

Daryl steps forward, touching Tyreese’s shoulder to try calm him down. “Hey man, we’ll find out who--,” he begins to comfort softly but as soon as he touches Tyreese, he is batted and brushed off by him, his stare not moving from Rick.

“I need to say it again?” Tyreese questions as Rick didn’t reply before, looking just as disturbed and broken from what’s happened here.

“No, no. I know what you’re feeling. I’ve been there. You saw me there. It’s dangerous.” Rick explains calmly.

“Karen didn’t deserve this. David didn’t deserve it. Nobody does.” Tyreese yells in rage.

Daryl tries to calm him down once again. “Alright man, breathe.” He gently says, touching his shoulder again to move him away from Rick but Tyreese suddenly spins at his touch. Pushing Daryl back with force to the wall.

“Man, I ain’t going nowhere until I find out who did this.” Tyreese shouts as he pushes Daryl back, a clang rings as he hits the metal bars. Rick and I jump forward in reaction, coming up behind Tyreese but Daryl looks at us holding his arms up, gesturing for us not to do anything. Rick and I take a step back as Tyreese holds Daryl against the bar wall.

He lowers his arms, looking back to Tyreese. “We’re on the same side, man.” He calmly states.

“Hey, look. I know what you’re going through. We’ve all lost someone. Daryl lost his brother. Y/N lost her kid. I-I lost my wife. We’ve all lost people along the way. We know what you’re going through right now, but you- you gotta calm down.” Rick reasons, touching Tyreese’s shoulder also, to now try and get him off of Daryl. But once again, he moves suddenly, turning back and pushing Rick.

“You need to step the hell back!” he roars, pushing Rick off him and back, staring at him with rage. Daryl moves to be behind them again, looking to me, gesturing to stay back from him.

Rick looks annoyed at the hard push before speaking at Tyreese again. “She wouldn’t want you being like this.” He points out and without hesitation Tyreese slams a punch right to his face, sending Rick to the floor.

“Stop! Stop!” I yell, coming behind Rick just before Tyreese sends another blow to his face when he looks up at him. “Stop!” I yell again as Daryl jumps at him from behind.

He holds him back, holding his arms down as he tightly holds his frame. “That’s enough. That’s enough.” Daryl exclaims, trying to bring Tyreese down from his rage.

As Rick rises to his feet, I try to see if he’s alright, but I only see anger, which was exactly what I didn’t want to see, knowing he’d retaliate. He spits blood from his mouth, as I stand with him while he comes to a stand himself. He takes no notice of me before looking to Tyreese and lunging forward and punching him right back. As the blow lands Tyreese is sent one way, while Daryl lets go and moves to the other out the way. The blow sent Tyreese rolling on the floor and Rick steps towards him, sending a kick to his gut, flipping him over facing him. Rick punches him again but then does it again. “Rick.” I call, trying to stop him but he continues punching Tyreese.

“Rick. Stop.” I exclaim as Daryl goes to pull him off.

“Let go of me!” Rick shouts as he’s pulled from a now bloodied Tyreese on the floor. “No.” Daryl replies, and they repeat their words as he pulls Rick up to a stand, who then pushes Daryl from him. I go over to Tyreese, who was now whimpering and panting on the floor, probably mainly from losing Karen but now also from the hard hits he’d got from Rick. He’d need patching up for sure. I looked up at Rick, to see him staring at his bloodied fist in shock and horror. He’d obviously left himself in anger and had only just come back to us, seeing what he’d done.

We’d tried getting Tyreese back inside, so I could patch him up, but he refused. He’d said he wasn’t doing anything until Karen and David were buried. I couldn’t argue with him, none of us could, not after what had happened. Rick had stormed off back inside the prison and after Tyreese refused to leave, Daryl stayed to help him with the bodies while I went after Rick. I looked around for him for a while, before finally finding him around the prison. 

I cleaned and patched up his bloody fist, doing everything Hershel and Dr. S had taught me. They’d been teaching me basics and whatever else they could in the way of medical training. I’d asked them if they could when I was ordered to stay home from runs when I started to show and Daryl began putting his foot down. it was something to keep me busy and was always useful to know.

“It’s gonna be sprained at least a week.” I tell him as I clean his fist. The solution makes him wince when I rub over his cuts on his knuckles. “The good news. None of these cuts need stitches. I wouldn’t plan on much typing in the next few days.” I gingerly joke, wanting to try and lift Rick a little after he sat there looking seemingly ashamed, but he doesn’t register my words at all.

“Are you okay?” I ask softly.

“It hurts.” He grunts, keeping his eyes to the floor.

“I wasn’t talking about the hand.” I begin, starting to bandage his hand. “We just went through something terrible. Everything we’ve been working so hard to keep out, it found it’s way in.” I state.

“No. It’s always there.” Rick retorts as I continue wrapping his hand.

“Talked to Hershel. Said he wants a council meeting soon. Wanted me to inform you guys.” Rick announces.

“Okay. I’ll finish up with you and get the others.” I reply.

There’s a moment of silence between us before Rick finally looks to me. “Hershel said we’ve lost twelve of our own.” He declares.

I sigh. All within the morning we’ve lost a lot of people, and it was only going to get larger. If we were going to do something, we’d need everyone’s help and that included Rick. “Now two more were killed in cold blood. We could be facing an outbreak. We’re gonna need all the help we can get with this.” I add.

“I think I’ve done enough damage for one day.” Rick states and I can still see the shame in his eyes.

“I’ve fallen off the wagon before. You saw it, at the farm, with Sophia and Randall.” I point out.

“That’s what this is?” Rick questions, moving his hand, I was finishing bandaging, in reference.

“Pretty close.” I answer. “When it happened, I didn’t stand around feeling bad about what Daryl and I did to Randall. I just got back up. We had responsibilities, people to keep safe.” I explain as I finish his bandaging.

“You took time off, to get away from making decisions, to get away from being the man you just turned into out there. But I don’t think you ever got back up. You just shoved it all down and it’s been weighting you down. There’s gotta be a time when you lift it all off. To get back up. And it’d be a good time to try now.” I finish, getting up from my chair and patting him on the shoulder, before leaving to go find the others for the council meeting, leaving Rick with the thought of what I’d said.

Having gathered Daryl and Carol, we were met by Hershel and Glenn in the prison, informing us that Sasha had now taken herself to cellblock A with the rest of the infected and we needed to have the council meeting now. We sat ourselves in the library, once again, spread around the table as we began to resume our discussion on what is was we were going to do. 

“It’s spread. Everyone who survived the attack in cellblock D- including Caleb, and now Sasha.” Hershel announces. So Dr. S, our own doctor, treating everyone had now got it. Plus, Sasha now. Our need for medication had never been so strong.

“Jesus.” Daryl chimes in despair. 

“So what do we do?” Carol asks.

“First things first. Cellblock A is isolation. We keep the sick people there like we tried with Karen and David.” Hershel instructs.

“The hell we gonna do about that?” Daryl questions. 

“We ask Rick to look into it. It’ll give him a purpose in all this. Ease him back in gently. We’re gonna need him.” I suggest.

“But what are we gonna do to stop this?” Carol asks.

“There is no stopping it. You get it. You have to go through it.” I state.

“Exactly.” Hershel backs.

“But it just kills you.” Glenn adds, seeming a little quitter than usual. He didn’t actually look so great.

“The illness doesn’t. The symptoms do.” Hershel corrects, snapping me back to the discussion.

“We need antibiotics.” I declare.

“We’ve been through every pharmacy nearby, and then some.” Daryl points out.

“That veterinary college of West Peachtree Tech. That’s one place people may not have thought to raid for medication. The drugs for animals there, are the same we need.” Hershel announces.

“That’s fifty miles. Too big a risk before. Ain’t now. Imma take a group out. Best not waste anymore time.” Daryl declares, getting up from the table. 

“I’m coming.” I state, getting up also. 

“Nah you ain’t. It’s too far.” Daryl retorts immediately.

“You haven’t been exposed. You weren’t in that cellblock during the attack. Daryl was. You get in a closed off car with him-,” Hershel begins to explain, and I realise he didn’t know I was in there towards the end.

“Please, he’s already given me fleas.” I lightly joke, knowing Hershel would appreciate the joke, especially after the day so far, and he lets out a small chuckle. “Nice.” Daryl chimes.

“Besides, I have been exposed. I was in there with Lizzie and Mika.” I explain.

Hershel sighs a little. “There are other precautions I feel we should take.” He states.

“Like what?” Carol questions.

“There’s no telling how long it’ll be before Daryl and the group return. Wouldn’t it make sense for us to separate the most vulnerable? We can use the administration building, separate office, separate rooms.” Hershel suggests.

“Who is the most vulnerable?” Glenn asks.

“The very young, the old-- and women with child.” He answers, looking to me towards the end.

“That’s it. You’re not coming.” Daryl orders to me.

“I’m coming, Daryl. I’ve already been exposed, same as you. You need every able person you can get; I’ve felt fine all morning and I still do. We were short people on the run yesterday, we’re even shorter now. Sasha is ill, Michonne is injured, Tyreese is broken, Rick is near about the same, and Glenn, I hate to point it out in front of everyone- but you don’t look so hot.” I explain and we all look to Glenn.

“Are you feeling okay?” I ask.

“I just started feeling a little rough, yeah. You think I’ve got it?” he questions, looking a little concerned. 

We look around at each other worringly at his words. We were going down one by one, we needed the meds. “Chances are you have. You should get yourself down to A, Glenn.” Hershel instructs regrettably. He nods and gets up to leave the room, covering his mouth and nose with his shirt as he passes everyone.

Once Glenn leaves the room, I continue arguing my point. “Alright, with Glenn ill, Maggie is no doubt going to want to stay with him. This doesn’t leave us with many people able to do this run who are used to doing them. That far out, we can’t ask people who have never been on a run to go. We’d only lose them. So- I’m coming.” I declare and Daryl looks at me like he knows I’m right but doesn’t like it. 

“If it were any different, I’d say you had to quarantine with the vulnerable. But seeing as you’ve already been exposed, and we need the numbers-- Daryl, she’s a capable woman, you know this. Her development is strong, she should be fine out there. She can help.” Hershel points out.

Daryl looks between us both, as if debating within himself, before he grunts his approval with a nod.

“I can help too. I can lead the way. I know where everything’s kept.” Hershel states, standing up from the table.

Hershel had a wooden lower leg and foot and had been walking around strong for several months now, like he hadn’t lost it in the first place. But still, Daryl glances at me, knowing even though he was good on his fake leg, it still wasn’t a good idea for him to come. 

“When we’re out there, it’s always the same. Sooner or later, we run. And Y/N knows that’s exactly why I don’t want her coming either.” Daryl explains, but I don’t argue. I didn’t need to poke him or argue any more than I had, and neither does Hershel.

“I cam draw you a map.” He deflatingly replies.

“Alright. Let’s get going.” Daryl announces, walking out the room. I walk around the table and touch Hershel’s arm in comfort and he pats my hand back in appreciation before I leave following Daryl.

Putting the last of the weapons and gear in the boot of a car, I walk around to the front where Daryl was checking under the hood of the car.

“Son of a bitch is ‘bout a quart low.” Daryl says, referring to the oil.

“Kept at the bottom of tower three, right?” I ask, starting to walk off towards the guard tower by the courtyard gate. “Yeah.” Daryl calls.

“On it- sir.” I tease. “Just get the stuff, woman.” He retorts and I lightly giggle to myself.

When I bring the oil over, he thanks me before taking it. As he sorts the car out, I lean against the side of the hood, watching him, when he stops all of a sudden and looks over at me.

“Hey, look. When we’re out there- if somethin’ goes wrong-,” Daryl begins.

“Daryl-,” I interrupt but he then cuts me back off. “No, just listen.” And I nod.

“If somethin’ goes wrong out there. If I tell you to do anythin’- if I tell you to run, you just do it. No arguments, no comin’ back for me, no waitin’, no nothin’. Alright?” he orders, holding a stare on me. As I stare back, I can see the worry he was holding in his eyes, so I don’t push him and just nod my understanding.

“Good.” he simply answers, turning his attention back to the hood of the car. I watch him resume his checks on the car, as we stand there in silence. 

“So, it’s just gonna be me and you like in the old days, huh? Feels so long since it was just us two going on a run.” I point out, with a smile, trying to lighten the mood a little after what he had said.

He looks up, mirroring my smile with a small one, both of us thinking back to the times when it was just the two of us going out to hunt for food and things, a time that felt long ago now. But his smile soon fades as we go serious. “Yeah, it has. Still will be. Bob’s comin’ too.” Daryl replies.

“Nice. Three’s better than two.” I state.

“Yeah-- still feels like we could use another person.” He points out.

“Well, who else isn’t sick?” I question.

“You were right about Maggie; she wants to stay here for Glenn. We don’t ask Rick. He wants to stay here with Carl and lil’ ass kicker. Keep ‘em safe.” Daryl explains.

“Yeah, well he sprained his hand as well. Plus, there’s plenty of things he could do here.” I add.

“Yeah, exactly. They can help with people here.” He says.

“So who else we got?” I ask.

“Tyreese. His face is battered but he’s able.” Daryl suggests.

“Is he? You think that’s a good idea?” I question.

“Gotta be.” He states.

“Sasha’s ill. He may not want to come either.” I point out.

“Well, we can only ask. Come on.” Daryl replies, closing the hood of the car, gesturing for me to follow.

Looking for Tyreese, seeing he wasn’t in the yard or anywhere outside, we walked through the prison around the cellblocks for a while. When we finally found him at A, he was stood outside the entrance door, staring in at the cellblock that held the sick.

“Oh, here ya are. Took us damn near forever to find ya.” Daryl announces as we approach Tyreese, causing him to turn to face us. One of his eyes were swollen and he had a few cuts in his face from the fight he’d had with Rick earlier. “Whatcha doin’?” Daryl questions.

“Somebody needs to stand watch.” Tyreese answers, clearly still reeling from what happened.

“Man, I wanna find ‘em too. Put a bolt in ‘em for what they did.” Daryl replies and Tyreese looks back inside the cellblock.

“Tyreese.” I say, to get his attention back and he faces back to us. “These people are cut off. There’s no way anyone’s getting in and out without a whole bunch of people seeing them.” I point out.

“Sasha’s in there. I ain’t going nowhere.” Tyreese declares.

“Standin’ guard ain’t gonna do no good unless we come back with them meds.” Daryl states but Tyreese turns back around, staring into the cellblock again through the glass, not saying a word.

Daryl and I share a look, knowing he wasn’t going to be told. Daryl nods in slight annoyance. “Alright. We’re gassin’ up by the front gate in case you change your mind.” Daryl informs before we turn and start leaving. 

Not long after coming back through the halls, we turn a corner and are faced by Lizzie, on her own. 

“Lizzie, what you are doing down here?” I question her.

“People sent me to come her. I don’t feel good.” she weakly answers and she didn’t look good, which sent worry straight through me. 

I share a concerned look with Daryl, before nodding at him to keep heading back to the car. “I’ll be there in a sec.” I quietly assure and I feel him stroke my back in comfort before walking away.

I look down at Lizzie who seems to be getting upset, which makes me feel upset at the sight. I bring my shirt up over my mouth and nose as I crouch down in front of her. Holding it over my face, I use my other hand to touch her shoulder in comfort. “It’s alright. Don’t worry, okay. We’re gonna get you better. You- you just have to go in there and lie down.” I softly tell her.

“Will you tuck me in?” she asks innocently.

Her question makes me feel worse, knowing I couldn’t do that for her. I rise to a stand and stroke the back of her head. “You know my friend Glenn? He’s the best tucker I know. He’ll make sure that you feel toasty and warm, okay?” I assure her, trying my best to make her feel any better as she has to walk in there alone.

She nods before starting to walk past me to round the corner towards the cellblock entrance. She stops at the corner, though, and looks back to me before suddenly rushing back and hugging me tight around my bump, whimpering. I hold her back tight, trying to hold back my tears at her action. 

I begin to urge her off and back to the cellblock. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Go on. You’ll be alright. We’ll be back- I’ll be back and you’ll feel better, okay? I promise.” I sadly reassure her, before she nods once again, wiping her tears before walking off and around the corner to isolation. Once she walked around the corner, I stride off down the hall. Letting my shirt fall down off my face, I let out a big exhale before beginning to sob. I stop and lean against a wall, my tears streaming as I tried composing myself.

I heard slow and light footsteps sound from around the near corner, and when I looked over I saw Daryl appear, looking at me with slight pity.

“I thought you were going to the car?” I question, sniffling, wiping my tears.

He doesn’t answer what I asked as he comes towards me, instead tells me what he thinks I need to hear. “She’ll be alright. We’ll get the meds. They’ll all be alright.” He assures.

“If something happens to her- to Mika- that’s on me. I was the one who brought them into cellblock D.” I point out, annoyed at myself.

“Don’t do that to yourself. They’ll be fine. And she will be, the sooner we leave and get those meds. Come on.” He gently urges.

“Yeah.” I reply, sniffling and wiping my face, composing myself. “Let’s go.” I add, starting to walk with him headed back to the courtyard.


	6. six

“Everything look alright?” Bob asks as he approaches the car with the extra gas cans, after Daryl closes the hood having checked the last couple things he wanted to.

“Yeah. Zach kept this thing running pretty good.” Daryl calls.

“It’s Zach’s car?” Bob questions.

“Yep. Fastest one we got.” I answer from the other side of the car, leaning my arms against the roof edge of the car. I can see he’s lost in thought after I answered as he looks at the car, probably thinking back the run when we lost Zach.

“You alright?” I ask.

He looks back to me then Daryl. “You really want me coming along?” he questions.

Daryl pats his pockets down, looking for the list of meds Hershel wrote down for us. Getting it out one of his pockets, he steps forward to Bob as he unfolds the piece of paper and holds it out in front of him.

“What’s the first word?” Daryl asks.

“Zanamivir.” Bob replies.

“Yep, we need you.” Daryl affirms, putting the list back in his pocket when Tyreese suddenly approaches the car, coming around marching towards Daryl.

“What’s up?” Daryl says as he stop in front of him.

“You still got room for one more?” Tyreese questions.

“Hell yeah.” Daryl confirms.

“Good. I just got to get my gear.” He announces before he walks off to grab it.

Daryl looks over at me and gives me a nod as if to say he’d be alright. I nod back in affirmation. “Alright.” He says as grabs the bag of tools he had by the hood before walking to put them in the boot of the car.

On the road, Daryl driving the car, we were all quiet. Hadn’t spoken a word for a while until Daryl sparks up a sudden conversation.

“So, what’s the deal with Michonne?” he asks, and I look over at him slightly puzzled as to what exactly he was asking. “She got herself injured outside the gates, coming back in right? She was leaving again.” He elaborates.

“Yeah. I know.” I reply.

“Why she keep goin’ out there all this time? It’s been months and you didn’t find nothin’ back when you were out there with her. She ain’t gonna find nothin’ on her own, not now, not after all this time.” He questions.

“Well, after whatever it was he did to her, she just couldn’t let it go that he just slipped away. I couldn’t, it’s why we both went. I guess, she still can’t. And to be honest, I still can’t either. But if it weren’t for this-,” I gesture to my belly, looking down at it before looking back to Daryl. “and you not wanting me out there. I probably still would be, even now.” I explain.

“I get it. I do.” He begins. “But the thing is, the trail went cold. You know that right? She’s looking for a ghost.” He points out.

“Maybe.” I reply, looking back out the front of the car.

“If it was any different, I’d be right out there with ya.” He states.

I sigh, before looking back to him. “I know.” I say as we look at one another for a short moment. 

Daryl glances back to the road, before beginning to fiddle with the radio, to see if there was any music at all probably, but all there was, was radio static.

“Why don’t ya hand me one of them CDs right there?” he asks, nodding to the glove compartment in front of me.

“Please?” I say as I open the glove compartment and he shoots me a smirking glare, making me smile. Just as I open the cd pack a static voice suddenly comes over the radio. “Find sanctuary--.” It fuzzes and Daryl starts fiddling again at hearing it also. 

“Is that a voice?” Bob questions from the back, but Daryl shushes him as he continues to fiddle to try and get it as clear as possible.

“--Determined to survive-- keep alive--.” The static voice speaks. 

Daryl and I look at each other slightly stunned and confused as to what it was we were hearing, when Daryl suddenly slams the brakes as he looks back out the front of the car. Having been distracted by the radio, we’d all been looking at it in shock, not realising we were speeding into a scattered cluster of walkers along the road. Daryl swerved repeatedly around them all, trying to keep control of the car as we drove around a corner. He got us through them, but as we came around the corner, he slammed the brakes again, but this time coming to a complete stop. Looking out front, we were faced by an almighty herd of walkers. There was no chance we were getting through that.

Walkers approached the car, snarling and clawing at the car, blocking all vision from the windows. “Grab somethin’.” Daryl yells over the noise before quickly reversing. There were less walkers behind, but still enough to bring the car down and they did. He managed to get back a little way, hitting a lot of walkers but the build up of walker’s bodies gets the car stuck.

“Go to the left.” I panickily point out and the engine revs but doesn’t move an inch. We were stuck, and with the walkers coming back to the car ahead. 

“It’s jammed up.” Daryl exclaims. “You’ll have to make a run for the gaps right there.” he says pointing across me to a part in the treeline. “You make a run for the woods and you don’t stop for nothin’, ya hear me?” he orders before he looks to me and we nod at one another, ready to get out of this.

“Now!” Daryl yells just as he breaks the sunroof of the car to shoot and get out of. I push open the door, unsheathing my katana as I step out and immediately having to use it. I push my way forward, swinging my sword in every direction at every walker that surrounded me. I could hear Daryl shout for us to move but seeing as I was already slicing my way through towards the woods, I figured he was calling for Bob and Tyreese to hurry. I did what I was told and didn’t stop for nothing, but I couldn’t even if I wanted to, there were so many walkers I couldn’t stop taking them down for a second if I wanted to get out of this herd alive. I could hear Daryl’s grunts behind me as he took down walkers with his knife, setting me slightly at ease knowing he was there.

Gunshots rang behind also now, I knew it was Bob as he’d brought a hand-gun, but I couldn’t stop to see until I got clear of the walkers and I was nearly at the treeline where they started to lessen in numbers. Bob was shouting out for Tyreese as he shot at walkers and when I finally got the treeline, turning to see Daryl right behind me, we both saw Tyreese getting out the car. He called for Bob to go as he began taking walkers down around him and Bob ran ahead to us as the walkers started to swarm towards Tyreese. He was yelling at them to come at him, as he repeatedly brought his weapon down again and again on the walkers while Bob pushed his way through the last few walkers. It was like he had a death wish. As one blocked his way, Daryl shot it through the head with his crossbow. Bob rushed forward as we looked on at Tyreese. He shouted for us to go as he continued taking down an onslaught of walkers but also continued to yell for the walkers to come at him as he took them down. It didn’t seem like he was doing it for the rest of us, it seemed like he was doing it for himself, not caring what happened to him. Several walkers that were near, were now stumbling towards us and we had no choice but to run into the forest, leaving him behind.

Running through the woods, there were walkers scattered around coming at us but were easily taken down as we rushed ahead, shooting and slicing them down as we went. We came out onto a tiny clearing, running across the grassy patch back into the woods when Daryl stops, looking back to make sure we kept up.

He stood waiting for us. “Come on.” He urges kindly as I come up to him but as I get to his side he spots something back from where we came and walks towards the treeline. “Hold up.” He says, stopping to reload his crossbow. Coming up behind him, we see a shrub rustling and Daryl aims his crossbow. When snarls are heard and a few walkers burst through, he’s about to shoot at them when we suddenly hear a grunt and the furthest one falls to the ground, revealing Tyreese. He was covered in walker blood and bits of flesh, though I’m not at all surprised considering he’d managed to cut his way through that swarm of walkers. He slumps to his knees in exhaustion and we all rush forward as the two walkers in front of him turn and see him. Daryl shoots one and I stab the other through the head just before Daryl picks Tyreese up, urging him forward just as several more walkers burst through the shrubbery and we all resume running.

After losing the trail of walkers, we come across a small creek and take a moment to catch our breath; have a drink, before we had to continue towards our goal of the college. Tyreese was washing his blood stained top at the edge of the creek after we’d all taken a drink, rubbing it all off with an incessant determination as we figured out where we had ended up. We came to the conclusion that if we found a place nearby, we could wire another car and drive the rest of the way to the college.

“This is Turner Creek, so Barnesville must be a few miles downstream.” I point out as we stand on the small bridge, waiting for Tyreese.

“Sounds like our best chance at finding a new ride.” Bob states.

“Yo, Ty, come on. Let’s go.” Daryl calls out but he doesn’t respond or look up as he continues ringing out his shirt.

“Ty. Ty!” Bob yells but he still ignores, making Daryl walk off, losing his patience. 

“There should be a town a few miles south.” Bob calls, trying to urge him to a purpose.

“Been out here too long, man. We shoulda been there by now. We’re not even close. My sister, everybody else, they’re probably dead.” Tyreese states.

“Well, it helps to keep moving.” I retort. I knew he was grieving, but the way he was going, he was going to be his downfall out here. What happened at the car was evidence enough.

“No, it doesn’t.” he spits before rising to a stand, flapping his shirt in the air. Seeing he was making his way up to follow, I walk off to catch up with Daryl. One thing Tyreese was right about, we had been out here for a while but we would get there, eventually. We had to.

Bob and Tyreese were walking not too far behind us, while I walked alongside Daryl, all of us on a trail through the woods, headed for the small town nearby. At some point, Daryl stops abruptly, crouching down to the ground and picking something up before rising back to a stand. I had stopped to see what he was doing; when he rose up he was holding a stone, rubbing away the dirt with his licked fingers. 

“Is that jasper?” I ask, thinking it was but was unsure at it didn’t hold it’s common colour of red. “Mmhmm.” He mumbles in answer.

“It’s a good colour. Brings out your eyes.” I joke. His eyes were blue and the stone was holding a slight green to blue tinge, so I took the cheap shot. He looks at me unamused at the lame joke but eventually scoffs in amusement from my smile at him.

“Miss Richards, when she went into A block, asked me to keep a look out.” he explains.

“And you don’t see why they all like you so much.” I point out.

“Just doin’ what was asked of me. It’s no trouble.” He dismisses, resuming our walk.

“I told ya, you gonna have to learn to live with the love, Dixon.” I reiterate what I had said to him before. He grunts in reply, as we continued our walk towards the town.

Coming out the woods after a while, we come onto a road that would eventually lead to the nearby town. Having been walking along it for not very long, we come across a gas station, with an adjoined auto shop at its side. A tree had fallen across the front of the auto shop, covering the entrance in its vines but coming closer, it was apparent that the tree wasn’t overly large, the overgrowth of its vines had made it seem so.   
Daryl had stopped behind us, near the root of the tree looking at something behind it.

“You see something?” Bob questions.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” He answers before walking over to whatever it was he’d spotted. The three of us followed to see as he pulled back a mass of vines from something beside the building of the auto shop which ultimately revealed there was a vehicle underneath. He moved around the vines and cut his way to the driver’s door. We pulled away part of the vines from the front windshield and it looked as though it was a van, while Daryl proceeded to try and hotwire it.

Daryl emerged back out from the van soon after. “We got to find us a new battery.” He announces, before turning to see a window to the auto shop building beside him. He spits in his hand and goes to wipe at the dusted and dirtied window but just as he touches it a thud sounds on the other side of the glass, accompanied by some snarls, making him jolt back slightly.

“Got some friends inside.” He informs, before grabbing his crossbow and coming away from the side of the van and building. “Come on.” He says to us as we head around to the front of the building that was covered in vines.

“Let’s clear a path, see how many we got.” Daryl instructs as we look at the mass of vines and branches from the tree before beginning to clear it in a line across it. Daryl pulled away branches at our end, while Bob and Tyreese hacked at theirs with their machetes. I was using my katana to do the same, all of us moving the overgrowth away behind us. Tyreese was slashing down at the vines and branches quite aggressively, and we all looked at him in concern.

“Hey, Ty, go easy. We don’t know what we’re dealing with.” I point out but he doesn’t let up, grunting with each slash when his machete suddenly gets caught and I hear something rattle slightly. He then forcibly pulls at his weapon, trying to detach the machete from whatever it was it was caught on. When he finally got it free, I saw there were wires caught in the hook at the top end point of his machete and it didn’t exactly put me at ease to see that. What had he just broken those wires from? He fiddled with them on his weapon, trying to remove them. Once he did, he then resumed to aggressively slash at the overgrowth again. I turned to face Daryl with a concerned look, and I saw he shared my expression when suddenly a hand outstretches from underneath the vines and grabs at him. He jolts to the side, pulling it off him before I swing my sword down on its arm, cutting it clean off. Others start to appear from the vines in front of the others, grabbing them in surprise. I moved over to Bob and Tyreese as they struggled with a couple walkers with a hold on them. I came around to Bob’s side and pointed my sword through underneath the walkers head before swinging it up and cutting off its head. Bob’s falls back at the release of the resistance as I see Daryl kills another walker with his knife in the vines. All of us look to Tyreese, who still struggled with his walker, it had a hold of his weapon and was pulling it into the vines, but he wasn’t letting go of it or the walker.

“Ty.” Daryl calls, to get him to stop. “Ty, let it go.” I urge.

He ignores us and continues pulling his weapon back when he suddenly pulls excessively hard, bringing the walker forward and he falls onto his back on the ground with the walker right on top of him. I was about to swing at the walker but stopped when Daryl stepped forward and grabbed it off of him as Bob moved around Tyreese and shot the walker in the head.   
Daryl helps Tyreese to his feet and he moves to pick up his weapon. “Why the hell didn’t you let go?” I question him and as he rises from picking the machete, he just stares in response, not saying a word, before looking away. It seemed he did have a bit of a death wish; he was letting his rage take over and it would take him down. 

Daryl and Bob went inside the auto shop to look for a battery while Tyreese and I waited outside, clearing the rest of the vines from the van ready so we could fit its new battery, hotwire it and get heading to the college again. We stood around it, I hacked at the branches and vines as Tyreese started to get a little aggressive with it again, yanking the branches from the van.

I stop to look at him. “You should have let it go.” I say to him.

He moves over to me in frustration. “The hell you know about it, huh? You a damn expert?” he angrily spits.

“No. I just don’t want to see you die. Is that what you’re trying to do? Do you even know what you’re trying to do?” I question and I can see I’ve struck something in him as he backs off and starts pulling at the branches again.

“I know you’re pissed. And you have every reason to be. But anger makes you stupid. Stupid gets you killed.” I point out.

He stops and faces me again. “Aren’t you still angry about the Governor, what he did?” Tyreese asks, trying to make a point.

“If he were here right now, I’d cut him in two. Because that’s how it needs to be. And I’m not angry-- but I was.” I answer.

“Then why you still got Michonne out looking for him?” Tyreese questions.

“I’m not making Michonne do anything. She goes out there of her own free will. We told her to stop. She just has her own reasons, same as I did. And I’m okay with her going out there because she can hold her own- she’s not angry either, which means she’s not acting stupid, meaning she comes backs in one piece. And she has, every time. You keep going the way you are, you won’t.” I explain, holding my stare on him, hoping my words would resonate within him until I turn my attention back to removing the vines and he does the same.

Tyreese and I hadn’t spoke since what I’d said but we were both sat next to each other, leant against the wall of the building as Daryl fitted the battery to the van. He wouldn’t take long, but I took the moment to sit and rest, Tyreese having the same idea I supposed. Bob stood next to us, also leant against the wall while we all watched and waited as Daryl worked. 

“So, Bob, you never told us about the group you were with before us.” Daryl suddenly points out.

“Which one?” Bob replies dishearteningly. Daryl looks at him, knowing the answer already from his words.

“You know, when you found me out on that road, I almost kept walking.” Bob announces as Daryl resumes with the van.

“Why is that?” Daryl asks.

“Because I was done being a witness. Two times, two different groups, I was the last one standing. Like I was supposed to see it happen, over and over, like it’s some kind of curse.” Bob explains, all of us looking to him as we listened. “But when it’s just you out there with the quiet. Used to be, I’d drink a bottle of anything just so I could shut my eyes at night. Figured the prison, the people, thought it’d be easier. The run to the   
Big Spot, I did it for me.” he continues.

“Ah, you gotta keep busy.” Daryl chimes.

“No. I did it so I could get me a bottle, of anything. I picked it up. I held it in my hand. But I put it down. I put it down so hard, it took the whole damn shelf with it. That’s what brought on the walkers. And that’s what got Zach killed.” Bob admits and for a second there’s silence as we look at him in realisation of what had gone wrong at the store.

“That’s bullshit.” Daryl retorts, staring at Bob. “Sasha and me picked that spot. Then we took you with us. Ain’t no way anybody coulda known. You ain’t goin’ to be standing alone, not no more.” Daryl continues, as Bob still looks slightly ashamed

“Why don’t you get in there and try the engine. It’s a red and a green wire. Go on, it ain’t rocket science.” Daryl urges to him.

Bob pushes from the wall, walking around him towards the driver’s door. “And give it some gas.” Daryl adds as Bob gets in the van.

It didn’t matter if he was an alcoholic, shit happens, and you have to deal with it. He clearly just felt guilty that what had happened, what he’d done, had led to Zach’s death. But blaming yourself wouldn’t get you anywhere. I didn’t have much tolerance for alcoholics; my mother and her husband drank way too much. Most of the times I would face a beating or abuse from them, they’d been drinking. But what was different with Bob, was he put the bottle down. It was just a shame in doing so we lost Zach.

Soon after Bob gets in the van, on the first try, he turns the ignition and the engine catches, roaring to life. “Alright. Let’s get going.” Daryl says pleased, closing the hood of the van, looking to Tyreese and I sat on the floor. Tyreese offers me his hand to help me to my feet which I take, once I’d risen, I look to him and offer him a small smile. He doesn’t give me one back, but he does give a slight nod. It was a start I thought, hopefully.


	7. seven

After finally coming into the town where the veterinary college was located, the light was beginning to dull as the day was drawing closer to dusk. Even so, we drove through the town but only so far, we parked the van away from the college building, so we didn’t attract any attention to any walkers that could have been close by. We walked the rest of the way, navigating through and past buildings towards the college. The further in we got, the more buildings there were.

“Looks like we’re getting’ closer.” Daryl points out.

“The building we want is just up ahead.” Tyreese announces as he directs us with the map on the paper Hershel had drawn us to a building up ahead. I made out a sign with the faded words veterinary on it and I was more than relieved to see it. We’d finally got here.

Daryl led the sweep through the college, not facing any problems, coming across no walkers, as we followed him in the direction towards the room Hershel had told and marked on the paper. When we came into the room, it was also clear, meaning coming in, getting these meds and getting back out again was made quick.

“Alright, let’s make this quick.” Daryl quietly instructs as we walk through the room, searching and scouting anything we could find that looked useful.

As Daryl and Tyreese moved on into the conjoined room, no doubt where the meds were being kept seeing as we couldn’t spot them in here, I followed behind. I stopped spotting some useful, putting it in my bag. When I looked back up to see where Bob was I saw him popping back up from behind the desk at the front of the room. He moved out from behind it and began his way over. For a second I thought it was strange but then looking around, the place was a mess. He could have found something useful behind there. I pushed it from my thoughts and headed into the room after Daryl and Tyreese.

In the room, was a huge cabinet, filled with drugs and medication. Bob and I were rooting through it for what we needed, while Daryl and Tyreese looked around the neighbouring rooms for other equipment that was on the list we’d been given.

“Anything ending with cillin or cin, c-i-n, grab it. We’ll dissolve the pills in the IVs, put them right into the bloodstream. Dosage will be tricky but considering the time we lost.” Bob informs as I grab meds, turning and putting them in my bag repeatedly.

Tyreese and Daryl come back into the room, as Bob and I finished putting the last of the meds we needed in my bag. I saw their hands and bags were full, always a good sign.

“How’d you do?” I ask.

“Bags, tubes, clamps, connectors, everything on the list.” Tyreese confirms as I turn back to the cabinet, having one left check across it all in case we missed anything we could take.

“What about y’all?” Daryl asks in turn.

“Yeah, we got it all.” Bob answers. “Yeah, we’re good.” I add.

“Alright, let’s roll.” Daryl announces and we all leave with our bags in hand.

As we follow some signs for an exit through the halls, Daryl slows us as we come to a room with a busted open door. Looking inside there were a few walkers staggering around and they clock us. So much for a clear sweep. We move off quickly down the hall, continuing to follow the exit signs. In doing so, it leads us into a darkened room, walking in first I can see that it is filled with animal cages. 

A light knocking sounds from behind. “Hey, doors busted.” Bob quietly declares to the rest of us, as he tried to close it behind us.

“Oh, hold up.” Daryl lowly says as he and Tyreese move back over to help secure it. As they do, bangs and snarls come from behind it, telling us the walkers had managed to follow us. I look around, pointing my torch around the room, looking for any exit signs, seeing as we’d been led into this room by others, when I finally spot one for a stairwell. “There.” I point out to the others, shining my torch on it before walking towards it, the others behind me.

We come to a set of double doors, but it’s chained shut. As I grab the lock and chain, I notice it looks quite old. 

“Lock and chain’s been here a long time, not the best looking one either. Would probably be easily broken.” I announce, when we hear more snarls and banging, now coming from behind these doors also. They pushed on the doors, opening a small crack in the middle so their hands and fingers stuck through. I tried shining my torch through the crack to see if I could gage an amount at all.

“How many?” Daryl asks, seeing what I was doing.

“Can’t tell.” I inform just before we hear a crashing come from the other door and we shine the light over to see the walkers had pushed the door open, despite the blocking the guys had put in front of it. They started to fill in the room and I realised a lot more accumulated that just from the room we saw, we were considerably outnumbered and in a smally confined room, that didn’t mix well. 

“We gotta taken ‘em.” Tyreese exclaims.

“No there’s too many.” I retort before looking back through the crack of the double doors. From what I could see and tell, there didn’t seem to be as many walkers behind these doors there was currently stumbling towards us.

“How’d you know there ain’t more behind those doors?” Bob questions.

“I don’t know for certain, but I’m pretty sure there’s not.” I assure.

“Luck’s gotta change sometime.” Daryl points out as he breaks a wooden chair, grabbing one of its legs. He puts it in between the lock and chain and the doors, as leverage, ready to break it.

I unsheathe my katana in anticipation. “Ready?” he asks. “Do it!” Tyreese exclaims and he breaks the chain with a hard force. Walkers push forward, making the doors swing open even faster. Bob shoots the first as swing at others, slicing the heads off two walkers next to each other as they stepped towards me. Then that was it. it was just those three. That was lucky, I supposed. The walkers from the other door were pretty much right behind us, so we moved off through the doors fast, stepping over the dead walkers towards the stairwell, rushing our way up it.

We were on the upper floor and we were met by more walkers up here as we marched through the halls looking for an exit. When we got towards one end of a hall, following more exit signs, we get cut off by a group of walkers and are forced to go the opposite way. Rushing down the hall away from them, some walkers begin to emerge from rooms and I take a head off one coming out a room as I come past it.

At the end of this hall, there was door with a sign that said stairwell, they must have had one at each end of the building. However, when we got there, it was locked or blocked.

“We don’t have an exit.” I say worryingly, moving away from the door, looking back to the onslaught of walkers now behind us, coming our way. Daryl tries kicking the door down but has no luck.

“Then we make one.” He states, moving from the door to climb up onto a big windows ledge under two huge windows at the end of this hall, next to the door.

Bob was knocking things over in the hall, an effort to slow the walker’s approach on us while Tyreese grabbed a fire extinguisher. 

“Get down!” he yells, and I cover my face turning away from the window as Daryl does the same, crouched on the ledge in front of one of the windows before Tyreese chucks the extinguisher through the other.

The glass was completely shattered, the whole window in pieces when I turned to it. “Come on, move it.” Daryl orders, holding his hand out to me. I grab it and he helps me onto the big window ledge he was standing on, pulling me up with Tyreese helping too, pushing me up as Daryl pulled. 

“You’re gonna have to jump down to the walkway below.” Daryl declares as I’m helped onto the ledge. “They’re here.” Bob yells from behind as I step onto the window frame.

“Come on, go, go, go, move.” Daryl urges before I jump onto the roof of this walkway, slightly below the windows. I steady myself as I land, and suddenly see that there are also walkers below the walkway, reaching up to the roof at all the noise. I then hear someone else land behind me and I turn to see it’s Tyreese, we start walking up the roof away from the window when I see Daryl following. I hear him land and then soon followed by another crash against the roof, being Bob. As we looked over the edge of the walkway at the end, there were no walkers below it. That was our exit.

“Bob!” Tyreese suddenly yells behind us and we turn to see Bob laid on the roof still by the window, his arms draped over the edge as he was clinging to his bag that the walkers below had a grip on. He was starting to get pulled over inch by inch. We rushed over, Tyreese getting a hold of his back, while I supported him and Daryl helping him, trying to pull him up.

“Bob, let it go.” I insist, as he clings hold of the bag. The second time I was having to say this today, only it wasn’t Tyreese this time, and now he was repeating my words. “Let it go, man.” He reiterates, trying to pull him back with Daryl. “Just-just let it go.”

Bob ignores us. “Let go of the bag, man.” Daryl sternly orders, just as Bob manages to pull the bag from the grasp of the walkers, the force sending it back over him onto the roof. It lands next to me and I hear a glass clatter. As I look down at it, Daryl strides over, crouching down to it as Bob rises to his feet.

Daryl pulls a bottle of what looks to be whiskey from the bag, he holds it in front of him as he comes to a stand and I can see the growing anger in his face.

“You got no meds in your bag, just this?” he questions. We all look at him, not impressed. Especially after what he’d confessed earlier. He says nothing in his defence. 

“You shoulda kept walkin’ that day.” Daryl coldly spits, before turning and begins to lunge to launch the bottle into the distance.

“Don’t.” Bob says, stopping Daryl, and he hovers his hand over his gun in its holster. I couldn’t believe it, and Daryl wasn’t happy seeing it either. After seeing his hand hovering there, he marches forward getting right up in his face intimidatingly. Tyreese glances at me, looking a little discontent at the display, before looking back. Daryl grabs Bob’s gun from it’s holster before grabbing him by his shirt.

“Just let it go, Daryl. The man’s made his choice. Nothing you can do about it. Just got to let it go.” Tyreese says, trying to calm him down, as I don’t. I didn’t exactly want to, not after seeing he had nothing else in his bag and I knew Daryl wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. 

Daryl releases his grip on Bob but keeps his stare on him as Bob looks to the floor in shame. “I didn’t wanna hurt nobody. It was just for when it gets quiet.” Bob admits, still not looking at any of us.

Daryl shoves the bottle into Bob’s chest. “You take one sip before those meds get into our people, I will beat your ass into the ground. You hear me?” Daryl sternly warns, before pushing the bottle against his chest again, making him take a step back at the force. Bob takes hold of the bottle as Daryl turns back, his face like thunder, and walks back along the roof, passing us as he heads to the end. Tyreese and I look at Bob, who was standing there looking the most deflated I’d seen a man, before we turned following Daryl. Bob made a choice. It was just the wrong one. He probably couldn’t have helped himself, maybe even tried to resist, like last time, but he didn’t, and he lost a lot of my faith in him.

Daryl had got down from the walkway roof, it wasn’t too high, but was high enough for me to have a nasty fall. He told me to lower myself onto his shoulders, with the support and help of Tyreese, so he could lower me down gently. We did exactly that, executing it with ease at my surprise, thinking it would go wrong but it didn’t. Tyreese then followed down with Bob. 

Daryl grabbed his bag and crossbow and began walking off back towards the direction of where we had parked the van, near the edge of town. He was not happy, at all. As Tyreese picked up his bag, he also picked mine up.

“Hey, I got it.” I assure him, holding my hand out for him to pass it over as he held it in his hand. It was only full of the bottles of meds, so it was fairly light.

He shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I got it.” He dismisses, strapping his own bag to his back as he carried both, giving me a small smile as we started walking after Daryl, with Bob behind us. He was starting to come back; letting his anger go. One step at a time. I smiled back at him.

When we got back to the van, it was started to get dark as the three of us figured out a route back from where we were, looking at the maps laid out on the hood of the van. Daryl sat in the driver’s seat, twiddling the jasper stone in his hands as he waited for us to decide. When we did, we all got into the van. I told him the route and he replied saying he heard it, before slamming his car door shut and starting the engine. I knew he wasn’t annoyed with me; he was just annoyed. What had happened back at the college with Bob had really rattled him, I could see it in his face. It was mostly plain, but I knew him, he was really pissed. 

We’d been driving for only a little but it had turned dark now and I just hoped we didn’t face any more problems on the way home. The night would make it harder to navigate through any. No one had said anything since we started driving either. I wasn’t sure what to say to Daryl, so at some point, I said the only thing I could think of. Something I’d thought not that long ago in the car as we had started driving. 

“You were right, what you said before, about the trail going cold. That Michonne-- that we- were looking for a ghost. I know he’s probably gone, or dead. I’ll talk to Michonne. Tell her to stop going out, properly this time.” I announce. 

“Good.” he simply replies.

The rest of the drive was silent. No one spoke once after what I’d said to Daryl, that being the one thing that was said, and it was quite a long journey. But the main, and really the only thing that mattered was we got what we came out for and we came out with four people and were going home with four people, all alive. 

When we finally arrived back at the prison, we’d been driving through a large chunk of the night, but it was still the night when we got back. But even though it was dark, I still noticed on our approach to the prison, that a part of the fence near the gateway had been taken down.

“You see that?” I blurt out at the others.

“What?” Daryl asks as we come nearer to the entrance gates.

“That small part of the fence is down.” I answer, pointing at it.

“You think they got through into the courtyard?” Tyreese questions.

“Guess we’ll find out.” Daryl states as we pull up to the gate, coming to a stop. He goes to get out the car, but I stop him, grabbing his arm.

He looks back at me. “Carl’s coming.” I announce, making him out as he runs down the yard towards the gate to open it for us. 

Once we pull in, we stop by Carl and I open my door to talk to him. “Carl, the fence? The hell happened?” I ask worryingly.

“We can explain later. Just go.” He answers and Daryl drives off towards the courtyard gate before I even shut my door. The gate is already open, with Rick standing there waiting for us to pull in.

We come to as top next to him and Tyreese had opened his door before we even came to a stop, leaping out when only just when we do.

“Sasha. How’s Sasha?” Tyreese questions Rick as he hops from the van.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.” He replies.

“Ty, get in there. We got this.” I tell him as I get out the van and he doesn’t hesitate to run off into the prison. I hear Daryl and Bob get out from the other side of the van as I suddenly see a massacre of walkers ahead in the courtyard up towards one of the towers in the corner, the nearest point of the courtyard to the fence line, the walkers must have broken through the first fence, through the fence walkway and then through the corner into the courtyard. They were all dead though, and none had made it even into the main part of the courtyard where we stood at the gate. Every win, I supposed. 

Daryl, Bob and I grabbed all the equipment and meds and rushed to the cellblock, but when we got to the door, Bob stops us both.

“You both shouldn’t come in here.” Bob states, standing and blocking the door from in front of us.

“Man, just move.” Daryl orders, stepping forward to push past him but Bob stands his ground.

“You gotta stay out for Y/N. Even if we got meds. Just best to.” He points out, staring at Daryl before looking to me. “You know why you shouldn’t.” he adds.

“Just hand me the bags. I gotta do this.” He insists.

“But Lizzie-.” I begin to protest. 

“I’ll send her to the window, if she’s able.” He assures, and I let out a small sigh before handing my bag over to him. Daryl slightly reluctantly does the same and we watch Bob go in, closing the door behind him before rushing in to find the others. 

I move to window, anxiously waiting to see if Lizzie would come, waiting to see if she was okay.

“You want me to stay?” Daryl asks from my side and I turn my head to face him. “No, I’m good, you can go.” I answer. 

“Alright. Imma go talk to Rick.” He announces and I nod in reply.

“You did good out there today. All that way. You know, despite being-,” Daryl begins but I cut him off with a scoff, giving him a small smile. “I know what I’m doing out there, Daryl. I’m not a grandma. I’m only pregnant.” I retort.

He snorts. “Yeah- only.” He says. 

He plants a kiss on my forehead as he held the back of my head before walking off headed out the cellblock.

I stood and waited at the window for Lizzie for a little while, my worry rising slightly with every minute she wasn’t there. If she’d slipped away while we were gone, it’d be my fault, and how would I tell Mika? But then all my thoughts were pushed aside when she finally showed up at the other side of the window.

“Oh, thank god.” I mutter to myself as I see her approach. She looked more or less the same she did before when I’d left and she’d gone into the cellblock. 

“You came back. You got back.” she states coming up to the window. 

“I told you I would, didn’t I?” I reply and she nods. “So you feeling okay? They give you some meds?” I ask her. “Yeah.” She says.

“How’s everybody doing? Glenn? Sasha? The rest?” I question calmly.

“They’re fine. But some people have died. It was sad, but at least they got to come back.” she replies, her words taken me a little by surprise. I thought she had passed this thing with the walkers.

“Lizzie, when-when they come back, they aren’t-- people aren’t who they were.” I explain.

“Yeah. But they’re something. They’re something. I’m little now. If I don’t die, I’ll get big. I’ll be me. But I’ll be different. It’s how it is. We all change. We all don’t get to stay the same way we started.” She tells me.

“Lizzie, it’s more complicated-,” I begin but she cuts me off.

“You said I was weak. That I can’t be weak. I’m not. I’m strong. So I’m telling you what I think.” She interjects.

I sigh. “Okay.” I reply.

“You remember what I told you once to do if there’s danger?” I question her.

“Run as fast as I can.” She answers.

“You run and run until you’re safe. And if it’s your life or your sister’s life, you can’t be afraid to kill. Understand?” I tell her. “Yes.” She replies.

“You are strong, Lizzie. You’re gonna live. You and your sister. You’re gonna survive, I know it.” I continue and she nods. 

“Where’s your knife?” I ask her and she lifts her shirt to show it still attached to her belt. “Put your t-shirt behind it. You’ve gotta be able to get to it quickly.” I instruct her.

“Yes, mom. I mean, m’am.” She quickly corrects herself as she tucks her shirt behind the knife. Although I knew that was the figure I was basically taking with Lizzie and Mika, it still stung a little to hear that. I was making sure they knew how to tackle the world because that’s what I failed to do with Sophia and I didn’t want what happened to her to happen to them, or my soon to be second child. But hearing Lizzie call me mom, only made the thought more apparent and I didn’t like to think about it too much. 

“Don’t call me ‘mom’.” I softly order.

“It was an accident.” She defends. 

“I know. Just don’t.” I reiterate calmly. “Okay.” She says, before looking down, seeming a little upset.

“What is it?” I question her.

“I’m not afraid to kill. I’m just afraid.” She explains, referring back to what I’d said just now.

“You can’t be.” I retort.

“How?” she almost whimpers, which brings tears to the back of my eyes, forming before they inevitably fell soon.

“You fight. And fight it. You don’t give up. And then one day, you just change. We all change. We have to.” I answer. She still looks a little upset but seems to compose herself before she nods in affirmation.

“You should rest, okay? Let the meds do their thing, alright? Then you can come out and be with the rest of us.” I assure her. 

“Okay. I’m happy you and Daryl got back okay.” She informs me before turning and walking back into the cellblock. 

Once she was gone, I closed my eyes, feeling the tears coming and they fell when I opened them, but I didn’t cry. They just trickled down in silence as I thought about Lizzie, and what she had said. This thing with the walkers might be a problem, but she seemed to know they were dangerous, that we had to kill them, perhaps she just saw it as some sort of deranged after-life. Whatever it was I just hoped it didn’t mess with her head too much, I didn’t want this world ruining her.


	8. eight

Yesterday had been a long day. It had started off being one of the worst we’d had at the prison and with the walkers coming into the courtyard it had ended the best either. But coming back with those meds had saved everyone. So we had to focus on that, even if we did lose a lot of our people along the way, it was how we kept going forward.

In the morning, waking up, I still felt slightly exhausted from the day before. But we had jobs to do. Bodies needed burying and walkers needed removing from the courtyard, not to mention the fences and whatever we had to do with the isolation cellblock. It was going to be a busy couple of days. When Daryl woke up, he had unintentionally woken me too. He said he was going to make a start on getting the walkers out, figuring it was better to get them out as early as possible so people didn’t see them. I’d told him I’d help but he of course said I didn’t have to. But I, of course, dismissed him and said I wanted to. So, we both headed out to clear the walkers. 

I got the truck and trailer and backed it up into the space with all the walkers and I as I got out and Daryl began dragging them over to the trailer, Tyreese came over. It was still a little early, so I was surprised to see him out, even before Rick. 

“Hey, thought I could help. Give the people in there a chance to rest.” he announces. 

“Well, to be honest-“ Daryl begins as he drops the first walker by the trailer, wiping his hands together. “I could use the help fixing the fences, we should probably get on that soon before more start to come and realise there’s a way in.” Daryl replies.

“Alright, I’ll get the tools.” Tyreese says before heading to the guard tower to fetch them.

“We can finish this after, they ain’t goin’ nowhere.” Daryl states, looking to me.

“Hey, I got this.” I smile at him.

“Ya sure?” he asks.

“It’s simple job. I’ll be fine.” I assure him as I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a kiss. “Go fix the fence, Mr. Dixon.” I whisper.

“Alright.” He smirks, brushing my arms from his neck as I laugh, before he walks off to get one of the other trucks.

I started to drag the walkers myself, and it took time, but I got them all by the trailer which, thankfully, was a low one. So, it made it a whole lot easier to pull them onto it. As I was pulling the last few onto the trailer, panting a little, I heard someone walking over to the trailer. I turned to see Rick approaching.

“Need some help with that?” he asks, coming to the side of the truck.

“Nah, I’m good. Almost done. Do your thing.” I answer, knowing he had come out to look over and harvest his crops, back to his usual routine. He nods with a smile, which I mirror, resuming to pull the last few bodies onto the trailer as he walked out into the yard.

Shortly after, once I’d finished hauling the bodies, Daryl and Tyreese came back into the courtyard in their truck, parking it. When I got down from the trailer, I saw them coming over but also Hershel was headed over behind them. 

“How’s the fence?” I ask.

“Secure for now. We’ll probably have to reinforce it with somethin’ soon though.” Daryl states as Hershel comes up to us.

Daryl and Tyreese turn around upon hearing him. “How’s Glenn doing?” Tyreese questions before I can.

“He made it through the night. He’s breathing on his own now. Maggie and Bob are with him. He seemed stable enough for me to get some air.” Hershel explains.

“He’s a tough son of a bitch.” Daryl chimes as Tyreese heads inside.

“He is.” Hershel replies. “You’re a touch son of a bitch.” He adds.

“I am.” Hershel states, with almost a smirk of pride which makes me smile at him.

“About Carol-- didn’t see her around our cellblock last night, did she go into A block? She alright?” Daryl questions.

“She’s not in there.” Hershel answers.

“Then ya seen her. Where is she?” Daryl asks, starting to seem a little worried. She was one of his closest friends here, they’d bonded somewhat over the months between the farm and prison.

“Talk to Rick about her. She’s okay. Just talk to him.” Hershel informs him, which doesn’t seem to ease him that much. I wonder what happened with her?

Daryl looks my way, itching to go but looked at the trailer before landing on me. “Just go. I told you I got this. Burning ‘em’s the easy part.” I assure him with a smile, and he nods before shedding his tool gloves and heading off into the prison. 

I was stood leant on the truck, watching him rush off, thinking what exactly he was rushing of to. “What happened with Carol?” I question.

Hershel lets out a sigh before he answers, which already tells me whatever it was, it wasn’t good. “Karen and David-- she killed them.” he finally answers, causing an expression of shock to wash over my face. “She was trying to stop it from spreading.” He continues.

“Rick said she has a car, supplies-- he didn’t want her here, not after that. And I don’t blame him.” Hershel adds.

“She said she did it?” I ask.

“He said she did.” He affirms.

I take a heavy breath, thinking about how the woman we knew had done that. She knew how to handle herself now, being on the road and the prison had changed her from how she was at Atlanta and the farm. But I would never have guessed she would have been capable of doing something as horrible as that. This was the woman who looked after Sophia a couple years back. She was one of us. And she killed two of our own.

“He was right to send her away. I don’t if I could’ve.” I point out.

“You could’ve, Y/N. You’ve done harder things. Don’t doubt yourself. You’re a tough son of bitch, as Daryl would say.” he assures, and I look to see he has a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. “You’re a natural leader, too. You know that, right.” He adds. I look at him, taking in his words, not sure if I believed them or not, but gave him a nod of recognition regardless. I moved over to a couple gas canisters sat by the truck and picked them up to put them in the trailer.

“So, you heading out?” Hershel questions after I placed them in the trailer.

“You wanna come?” I ask as I grab my Kanata from the truck, strapping it to my back.

He smiles. “Hell yeah.” He says, making me smile. We both get in the truck and I start to drive the truck and trailer out the courtyard, headed for the woods by the prison.

Hershel and I had been talking as we loaded the walkers off the trailer, dragging them down and over to a spot we’d picked to burn them. We’d been talking about anything but what had happened over the last couple days and it was nice. We joked and smiled, and it was nice to finally be able to do that after everything, despite what it was we were actually doing as we did.

Once we’d got all the walkers in a pile, we walked back over to the trailer to grab the gas canisters so we could burn them. As I went to reach in for one, Hershel stroke up another conversation. 

“So, how you feeling? After what’s been happening recently, I haven’t checked on you for a while.” Hershel questions as I hand him one of the canisters.

“I feel fine. Just the usual aches and pains. Been through it all before, it’s not that bad. Not yet anyway.” I answer grabbing the other canister.

“It’ll come.” He replies.

“Oh, I know. Trust me.” I snort. 

I put the canister down, knowing we were diving into another long conversation and I didn’t want to be holding longer than I had to. “Except, there is one thing that’s different this time. My hormones seem to be rocketing this time. Not all the time, but some of it—getting the occasional mood swing is keeping Daryl on his toes, I think.” I joke, and we both chuckle. 

“You know, I’m fine then the next minute I could be angry, then the next I could just about jump on him.” I continue and Hershel laughs. “It all happens within like 5 minutes, if that. It’s ridiculous.” I add, smiling as Hershel chuckles still.

“Nothing I can do about that, I’m afraid. Daryl’s just gonna have to hang in there for the last couple months. You’re going to get a whole lot worse during those.” Hershel points out.

“Yeah, the poor sucker isn’t gonna know what hit him.” I tease, smirking, making Hershel laugh again. It was nice having moments like this with Hershel, he’d become somewhat of a father figure to me, a friend, everything. He was a good man, and I valued his company. 

“Actually, there is something I wanted to talk to you about. To do with the baby. I’m worried about what might happen. If something goes wrong, and it could-- the closer I get to the inevitable, the more I keep thinking back to-- to Lori. It was awful enough to watch- I can’t imagine what she was thinking, feeling-- I don’t want that to happen. I want to be here for my baby, for Daryl.” I explain, the tone turning serious and I can see Hershel reading the worry that was most likely etched across my face and eyes.

“You don’t need to be worried. We’re safe now at the prison. It’s not like how it was back then.” He assures.

“But what about now, after all this? The flu, Dr. S gone-- I have faith in you Hershel, I trust you completely, I do. I-I’m- I’m just, still scared you know. I’ve just sorta kept it to myself over the months, thinking that was a problem to worry about months from now, but now we’re getting closer. I’m what, about a month and half away, and that’s if I don’t deliver early, or maybe late. There are so many things to think about, and I’m just- worried.” I continue to explain.

“It’s perfectly normal, to be scared. But you survived a pregnancy at, what was it? Fourteen?” he questions. “Yeah, but I was unconscious from my wound and they had to cut Sophia out. Lori died because I had to do the same with Judith.” I point out.

“Lori had a c-section because that was the only way her body would allow it. you had one because you had no other choice at the time. You carried a baby, basically full term at fourteen. Just that tells me that your strong. And that you will most likely be strong enough now at-- how old are you now?” he asks. 

“Twenty nine.” I answer.

“At your age, and the fact your healthy, fit, strong and you haven’t had any problems with your pregnancy, you will be fine. I have every confidence that your body will be strong enough to deliver naturally and with ease, so to speak.” He assures, with a smile and I scoff lightly in amusement at the end. “I will do everything in my power to make sure that happens.” He adds.

His words move me a little and I bring him into a hug. “Thank you, Hershel.” I whisper as we embrace.

“I think I needed to hear that.” I state, as we come out the hug.

“No problem.” He chuckles lightly as we grab the gas canisters and start walking over to the walker pile.

“So, tell me. Satisfy an old man’s curiosity. What was it that ultimately made you know you wanted to go on with the pregnancy, back when you found out?” he questions as we came to the walker pile.

We stand by it, ready to start soaking the walkers in the gas. “Well- I didn’t want to be afraid of being alive.” I reply.

He smiles. “Good answer.” He affirms as he starts dosing the walkers in the gas. I smile briefly before joining him. 

We covered all of them in the gas, soaking them to make sure they’d burn away. When we lit the pile, it burst into flames and we watched it for a moment as it burned.

As the fire started to get hotter, we had to stand back and I took that as our queue to leave.

“Come on, the fresh air is starting to smell not so fresh anymore.” I urge, for us to leave.

We walk back to the truck and trailer, we’d parked by a large tree, bringing the gas canisters with us. After we both out them in the back of the truck, I begin stepping forward towards the driver’s door when suddenly someone moves our from around the tree trunk by the door as I come to it, and before I can even register it, I feel a sharp pain on my head and I fall to the side on the ground. I can feel myself start to slip away into unconsciousness but just before I do, I make out a blurred and fuzzy image of a man standing over me holding a gun. He looked as though he was wearing an eye patch, and then nothing. 

When I’d woken up a little dazed, I was in an RV, which at first gave me a huge déjà vu. Thinking back to the farm and Atlanta. But then I felt my hands were tied behind my back and I saw Hershel was the same next to me. It bought me right back to reality. Hershel asked if I was alright and I felt fine, just a little throb on my forehead from where I’d been hit on the head. Hershel confirmed to me that it was the Governor who’s done it and had brought us here. Wherever here was. And that he’d even cleaned my cut from the blow and put a plaster on it, which seemed a little out of character, but hitting me over the head didn’t. Once I’d woken up, we didn’t have to wait long until he came into the RV. Seeing him, his face, it stirred an anger in me. I know I had told Tyreese I wasn’t angry. But seeing him in front of me now, after all this time, I wasn’t exploding with rage, but I was angry, that was for sure.

“Let’s take a look at that, shall we. See if it’s stopped bleeding.” The Governor announces as he comes towards us, specifically me.

“Don’t touch me.” I sternly order as he stands before me.

“Stay still.” He says as he peels the plaster back, then re applies it. “Get off me.” I spit before he steps away.

He looks at us both before he grabs something from inside a cupboard in the RV, then proceeded to hand it to us.

“You should eat. It’s gonna be a long day. Nobody’s gonna hurt you.” He states, lightly chucking a couple bars of food into my lap. I don’t know how he thought we would eat them, even if I wanted to, with our hands tied behind our backs. But I supposed he didn’t care. He turned and sat down on the other side of the RV, sorting a bag of medical supplies.

“I don’t believe that.” Hershel retorts.

“Well, I don’t care.” The Governor points out, not looking at us.

“Just tell us what this is. Please.” Hershel pleads, as I sit and listen. I didn’t want to converse with this man.

“It isn’t personal.” He says.

“Then what is it?” Hershel asks.

There’s a slight pause before he answers. “Y/N, I want you to know. Penny, my daughter. She was dead. I know that now.” He suddenly announces, but I don’t care. 

“Now, I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I need the prison, that’s it. there are people I need to keep alive. You two are gonna help me take it. no one needs to die.” He continues.

“I’m gonna kill you.” I coldly declare.

“No, you won’t.” he retorts. 

“I’m gonna take my sword--,” I begin calmly. “Stop it.” Hershel says to me, before looking to the Governor. “You want the prison?” Hershel questions.

“Yeah. And I’ll take it as peacefully as I can.” The Governor answers.

“Governor?” Hershel begins. “Don’t call me that.” He interjects, finally turning to face us. So, he’s shunned that part of his past now. And yet, here we were, hostage. Didn’t seem so shunned to me. He turns back to the medical bag before Hershel resumes. 

“Your people, our people-- we can find a way to live together. These people you need to keep alive-- do you love ‘em?” Hershel points out and I slightly roll my eyes in annoyance, I could never live with this man.

The Governor sighs. “You’re a good man, Hershel. You’re a better man than Rick.” He states.

“Everything you’ve said, the way you’ve said it-- you’ve changed. So has Rick.” Hershel points out and I silently disagreed with him. 

“The two of us will never be able to live together. Y/N and I, we’ll never be able to live together.” The Governor declares, facing us again. Well, he got that right.

“We’ll find a way--,” Hershel begins.

“I found a way.” The Governor bursts. “I’m trying hard. There’s all kinds of ways I could do this. This way, you get to live, and I get to be--.” He explains, pausing before finishing his sentence, but then he never does and gets up from the seat, going to leave the RV.

“You say you want to take this prison as peacefully as possible.” Hershel states, stopping the Governor as he opened the door. “That means you’d be willing to hurt people to get it. My daughters would be there. That’s who you’d be hurting. If you understand what it’s like to have a daughter, then how can you threaten to kill someone else’s.” Hershel points out.

He stares at us coldly. “Because they aren’t mine.” The Governor states, before leaving the RV.


	9. nine

Hershel and I were kept in the RV for what seemed like hours, while they seemed to pack and get ready to launch their attack on the prison. Until someone finally came in and put bags over our heads. We were put in a car or truck, whatever vehicle it was and were driven, with what sounded like a group of other vehicles. We were obviously driving to the prison and when we finally stopped, my stomach dropped a little. Then as we sat in the vehicle, I heard a huge explosion and my stomach completely dropped. What had they just exploded? Shortly after, I heard the Governor.

“Rick! Come down here! We need to talk!” he yells out.

“It’s not up to me! There’s a council now! They run this place!” I hear Rick shout back.

The Governor doesn’t say anything back at first and I’m suddenly pulled out the vehicle, Hershel too. I’m brought to my knees on the ground as The Governor now responds.

“Is Hershel on the council?” he calls out. “What about Y/N?” he adds as my bag is pulled from my head.. “Is she on the council, too?” he questions. I see that the group has gathered at the courtyard gate and the explosion was one of the guard towers they’d shot something at, one we didn’t use as much. He clearly was just announcing his arrival, rather than taking the place down; he did want it for himself after all. 

Looking back at the Governor and his group, I was faced by their collection of trucks, as they stood behind their open doors armed and with him standing on a tank. Where the hell did he get a tank?

“I don’t make decisions anymore.” Rick shouts.

“You’re making the decisions today, Rick. Come down here, let’s-- let’s have that talk.” The Governor announces.

We wait for Rick’s move and he eventually comes out the courtyard, and down the yard towards our direction.

“Let ‘em go. Right now. I’ll stay down here. Talk as long as you want. But you let ‘em go. You’ve got a tank. You don’t need hostages.” Rick argues as he nears the fence, keeping a slight distance from it.

“I do. And this is just to show you I’m serious. Not to blast a hole in our new home. You and your people, you have ‘til sundown to get out of here-- or they die.” The Governor declares.

“It doesn’t have to go down this way.” Rick points out, his worry starting to become visible in his face, stance and voice.

“I got more people, more firepower-- we need this prison. There it is.” The Governor states. “It’s not about the past. It’s about right now.” he continues.

“There are children here. Some of ‘em are sick. They won’t- they won’t survive.” Rick announces, his worry intensifying.

“ I have a tank, and I’m letting you walk away from here. What else is there to talk about?” The Governor snaps.

Rick stands there, looking around, clearly not knowing what to do or say to change this situation we found ourselves in.

“I could shoot you all. You’d all shoot back- I know that. But we’ll win, and you’ll be dead. All of you. It doesn’t have to be like that. Like I said, it’s your choice.” The Governor points out, just as we all start to hear faint snarls. The noise was going to bring walkers for miles in this direction, the first closest few had started to arrive I guess. Three shots are suddenly heard one after the other and I look behind to see the Governor shooting his gun at some walkers coming up on our side. 

“Noise will only draw more of them over. The longer you wait, the harder it’ll be for you to get out of here.” The Governor declares, and Rick looks on at us all with utter worry and desperation at what to do.

-

Mika and a couple other of the kids, Molly and Luke, were carrying Judith in her baby carrier, towards the bus so people could make a quick escape if anything went wrong, following the plan. But then Lizzie comes running out after them.

“Where are you guys going?” she questions, stopping them.

“To the bus. Come on.” Mika urges. “No.” Lizzie simply protests.

“You know the plan. That’s where we’re supposed to go.” Mika counters.

“Y/N told us to be strong. To protect ourselves. They have guns. We should have guns, too. We should help.” Lizzie argues.

-

“You got maybe ‘bout an hour of sunlight left. I suggest you start packing.” The Governor states.

Rick stares for a moment, before looking down, like he was contemplating what to say next.

“I told you-- the longer you wait, the harder it’s gonna be for you to get outta here.” The Governor adds.

“We can all--” Rick starts, pausing as he looked around. “We can all live together.” He suddenly announces, looking a little broken as he said it. If he lost this place, he was going to be. “There’s enough room for all of us.” he continues.

“More than enough. But I don’t think my family would sleep well, knowing that you were under the same roof.” The Governor points out. I scoff under my breath in annoyance. He was still keeping up this façade that we were the bad guys, like what had happened hadn’t been all because of him. He hadn’t changed at all.

“We’d live in different cell blocks. We’d never have to see each other—‘til we’re all ready.” Rick explains.

“It could work. You know it could.” Hershel chimes in. I knew they had to try, but I also knew I couldn’t live with this man, I couldn’t let myself after everything. I’d kill him. But they had to try.

“It could’ve. But it can’t. Not after Woodbury. Not after Y/N. And not after Andrea.” He retorts. Hearing Andrea’s name from his mouth, after what he did, just fuelled my anger even more.

“Look, I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy. Fact is, it’s gonna be a hell of a lot harder than standing here shooting at each other. But I don’t think we have a choice.” Rick points out.

“We don’t. You do.” The Governor states.

“We’re not leaving.” Rick asserts. “You try and force us, we’ll fight back. Like you said, the gunshots will just bring more of ‘em out. They’ll take down the fences. Without the fences, this place is worthless. Now, we can all live in the prison, or none of us can.” He declares. 

The Governor jumps down from the tank, and I hear the familiar ring of my katana being unsheathed. 

“We’ll fix the damned fences.” I hear the Governor mutter as he marches up behind us. He pushes the armed woman besides Hershel aside and holds my sword to his neck. Panic rises within me at the sight because I had no doubt it was something he wouldn’t hesitate to do. I just prayed he didn’t.

Rick looked on at the display in distress before he points to someone amongst the trucks behind me. “You-- you, in the ponytail-- is this what you want? Is that what any of you want?” Rick shouts in desperation. 

“What we want is what you got. Period. Time for you to leave, asshole.” The guy from the tank calls.

“Look, I fought him before. And after, we took in his old friends. They’ve become leaders in what we have here. Now, you put down your weapons, walk through those gates-- you’re one of us.” Rick yells.

The Governor doesn’t respond, he only stares at Rick still holding my sword at Hershel’s neck.

“We let go of all of it, and nobody dies. Everyone who’s alive right now-- everyone who’s made it this far-- we’ve all done the worst kinds of things, just to stay alive. But we can still come back. We’re not too far gone. We get to come back. I know we all can change.” Rick announces.

Looking over at Hershel and the Governor, I see him lowering my katana from Hershel’s throat, who is smiling at Rick’s words. The Governor looked down at the sword, now at his side, as if he were actually listening and contemplating his words. He looked back up at Rick, staring and there was a moment of silence. A moment when perhaps he’d considered it.

“Liar.” I hear him whisper. And I see him swing my katana back behind him.

“No!” I scream as he swings my sword across straight into Hershel’s neck with a grunt.

I immediately let out a cry at the sight of the blood soaking down Hershel as he slumps to the ground, his neck cut into but his head still intact.

“No!” Rick screams after my cry as he draws his Python from his holster and shoots at the Governor, just as gunfire from the courtyard rains at us also. The Governor is hit in the shoulder as Rick runs back for cover, shooting as he goes. I can hear screams and shouts coming from the courtyard over the gunfire as I look down at Hershel on the ground, bleeding out, when I’m suddenly sent back. I’d been hit by a bullet, the force sending me back onto the side of my back. A pain burned on my upper arm and when I looked, I saw a bullet had just grazed me, it thankfully hadn’t gone through.

Both sides were firing at each other, bullets flying. I kept to the ground, low against it as I rolled out the line of fire using my legs and back, careful not to roll on my belly as my hands were tied behind my back, to get myself behind a truck. When I finally get to one, I bring myself to a crouch behind it. I notice that the license plate is slightly bent off and the edge was sharp, so I perch myself against it, putting my wrists to its edge to cut the rope. As I move up and down slightly to cut it, a guy comes running around the corner of the truck, I trip in front of me and he falls to the ground. I stand over him quickly as he rolls onto his back and stomp on his chest, winding him before stomping on his neck to break it.

“Go through the fences in your cars. Get your guns. We go in. Kill them all.” The Governor suddenly yells.

“Roger that! Move in!” the guy in that tank shouts.

Keeping cover behind the truck at the end, I watch as the tank starts to move forward and it demolishes the fences, breaking through with ease into the yard as some people get into some of the trucks. I panic for a moment, waiting for someone to spot me as they come for the truck I’m behind, but no one comes for it. Others follow on foot at the side of the tank, leaving a couple trucks behind, including the one I was behind. Although, it didn’t make me feel any better. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t have my sword, or any weapon, and my hands were still tied. That’s what I had to focus on firstly. I resumed trying to cut the rope on the license plate, and it was proving difficult. The plate looked sharp but against the rope it was a little blunt. It was going to take a moment. 

As the Governor’s people moved in on the prison, gunfire roared, and a explosions were going off from the tank into the prison. I didn’t have to look to know it was complete carnage. Walkers were starting to appear out the treeline and it hurried me along, panicking to get my hands free as more and more appeared. I was trying so hard just to get free from some rope and I felt utterly helpless listening to the battle raging behind me. I hoped everyone would get away safely. I prayed Daryl and the others did. If the prison fell so be it, I’d rather have everyone alive.

-

Tyreese was firing back at his attackers, when he saw the bus full of the people leaving. Followed by Maggie, Bob and Sasha running in the same direction, helping an injured Bob by the looks of it, away from the fight, seeing it was losing battle. He continued to fire as he faced a couple shooters coming towards his cover spot, when their approach and fire forced him away from his spot he rushed to another spot as their bullets chased behind him. He jumped behind some of the tubs of crops we had in the courtyard, the only place of cover he forced to. He didn’t even get a second to return fire as he faced theirs, keeping him behind the tubs as they got closer. When suddenly they stopped. He peeked over to see one of them had been shot, the woman still standing there looked at his shooter and Tyreese followed her eyeline. It was the kids. Lizzie and Mika were holding guns at her, after having shot the man down. The woman looked at them in shock and disbelief just before Lizzie shot her in the head.

They looked to Tyreese as he rose to a stand, who was also looking at them in disbelief at what they’d just done. He notices walkers coming into the courtyard, starting to feast on the bodies laid around.

“We gotta get out of here.” Tyreese orders and Lizzie and Mika look at one another, before nodding at him and they suddenly run back inside the prison.

“Hey! We go that way!” Tyreese shouts after them, pointing away from the prison, as he moves to follow them to try and get them back.

-

I’d finally managed to get myself free, as walkers were drawing nearer. The gunfire had lessened at the prison and I looked all around at what to do, because seeing it all, I still had no idea. From looking around, I noticed the Governor and Rick fighting in the yard by the overturned bus, near the entrance gates, he’d run at for cover. I looked around for any weapons laying around the ground near the truck, hoping someone had at least dropped one somewhere. As I hurriedly looked, I suddenly spot a body with its head detached in front of it laid on the ground ahead of me. I rush over, having a pretty good idea who it was, and I’m faced by Hershel’s body with his head by it, both accompanied by sword left by the side of him. The Governor had clearly finished the job he started, carelessly leaving him and my sword in this state. A disturbing trio display of what Hershel’s final moments were. Hershel’s head starts making faint moans and I see his head has turned. Looking down at his head in despair, I cry at the sight. The snarls to the side of me begun to get louder and I look to see the walkers were now closer than I cared them to be and had grown in size as more filled out the woods the more they stumbled forwards. I had to move. I picked my katana and it’s casing up; strapping the case to my back I looked back down at Hershel’s body and walker head.

“I’m sorry.” I mumble through my fading cries, before stabbing his head out of mercy, not wanting to leave him like that. I crouch down and gently pull my sword from Hershel’s head, holding it down as I do. I sniffle once more, composing my tears and wiping them from my face as I look back to the Rick and The Governor. He was on top of Rick, pummelling him with his fists. I was angry before, and it was fuelled when he spoke to Rick, the things he said, and it rocketed when he swung at Hershel. But now, looking at him on top of Rick. I was now exploding with rage after seeing Hershel like this on the ground. I break into a run towards them, as fast as I could run, not wanting the Governor to be granted to breathe another breath for another second. He didn’t deserve it. As I ran, I saw the Governor had stopped punching Rick; he was now strangling him. When I finally reached them, coming up behind them, I didn’t hesitate to run my sword straight through the Governor’s chest as I cried out a scream with the motion. He gasped in pain, grunting and breathing through it before I pulled my sword back from him. Rick was beaten bloody. He rolled to the side out the way, his breath’s raspy as The Governor slumped down forward to the ground. Rick was gasping for breath and coughing from the fight he’d had with him. I stepped towards the Governor and flipped him over onto his back. He was still holding onto life as he laid there.

I looked at him with sheer hatred and emotional rage, my katana in hand as he looked back up at me. “I hope this hurts.” I coldly spit. Repeating the words he had said to me before he assaulted me, the words I had repeated once before back in his apartment before I killed his daughter. I said this to him, because I wanted him to feel as much pain as he could before he died and reminding him I killed his daughter, I knew would do it. Right before I swung my sword up along his body, swiftly on both his sides. He screamed in pain as I sliced both his arms at his side. I wanted him to feel pain and my rage was somewhat satisfied to know that I was the one that gave it to him, and I’d be the last thing he saw before he died. Well, apart from the walkers who were approaching behind us, they’d finish him off no doubt. He finally got what he deserved. 

Rick was struggling to get to his feet, his breathing still raspy and coughing blood. I moved over to help him to his feet and doing so I notice his leg has been shot.

“Carl? Where’s Carl?” he breathes loudly in distress.

“I don’t know.” I reply, looking up at the courtyard. Gunfire had stopped and I couldn’t see a single person up there. “I can’t see anyone.” I add.

“I-I, I gotta- I gotta find him.” Rick stutters, limping towards the courtyard with me at his side, supporting him. 

“We’ll find him quicker if I go up ahead. I’ll look around- I’ll look inside, alright? Can you get yourself up there?” I panickily say to him and I see him nod in response.

Seeing his nod, I carefully move from him and rush my way up into the courtyard, looking for anyone still here, as well as Carl. There were already several walkers in courtyard but no one else was. I took down a few walkers in my path as I headed into the prison to look around.

I was calling out for Carl, running around the cellblocks and prison for him or anyone. I had to kill a few walkers that had got inside the prison along the way, but everywhere that I checked came back empty. I didn’t find Carl; I didn’t find anybody. But when I was coming through the prison to come back out, I heard several rounds fire come from the direction of the courtyard. Thinking Rick was in trouble, I rushed back towards the courtyard, killing a couple more walkers as I approached the exit.

-

Rick limped his way up the yard, calling out for Carl after I had run up ahead into the prison and walkers were coming up behind him. He’d eventually made his way into the courtyard, seeing several walkers around, a couple of them then spotting him. They started to stumble their way towards him when suddenly they were shot down and fell to reveal Carl coming up behind them. Rick immediately burst into tears as he limped towards him and Carl rushed forward into his arms. They embraced each other tightly.

Rick pulled himself from Carl. “Judith—where-where is she?” Rick mumbles. “I don’t know.” Carl sorrowfully answers. “Y/N? You see- you see her?” Rick questions as Carl starts helping him across the courtyard. He looks to him a little puzzled “She’s alive?” he asks. Rick weakly nods. “She-she came looking. You see her?” He mutters. Carl shakes his head sadly.

As they walk, Rick notices Judith’s baby carrier over further into the courtyard. Carl spots it as Rick urges him in its direction and they make their way over to it. But when they get there, standing before it, they see it’s empty, but it’s also covered in blood. Their faces drop at the realisation of what’s inevitably happened, and Rick begins crying again, starting to break down. Carl hears a walker approaching behind them and turns to face it. He walks forward as he shoots it in the head with his first shot, but he doesn’t stop shooting at it. As he fires off several rounds at its limp body on the ground, he starts to cry. Rick calls out to him limping over, grabbing him from behind to stop him shooting just as he runs out of ammo. Carl breaks down in his arms, both of them crying in grief together. 

As Carl is hunched over in Rick’s grasp, he looks around to see that the walkers from the yard were now all starting to fill in the courtyard. If they didn’t leave now, they’d get stuck. They’d die. 

“Carl, we’ve gotta go. We’ve- we’ve gotta go.” Rick urges through his cries as the walkers stumble towards them. They hold and support each other, as they’re forced to flee out the courtyard where the bus had drove out at the other end, the only exit not blocked by walkers yet.

-

After hearing the rounds of fire, rushing towards the courtyard, I burst out one of the exit doors coming out to see that it was completely overrun. There were walkers everywhere. One suddenly moved around the door and I quickly stabbed it up through its chin into its head as others around turned at the sound of me opening the door. Thinking fast, I pull it in with me still on my sword, slamming the door shut. The only way I’d get through all that was to disguise myself. I pulled my sword from the walker and let it fall to the floor before I flipped it and slices up its body. Rubbing my hands into its body, in its blood and guts, I rubbed myself all over with it to mask my smell from the herd of walkers now crowding the prison. I covered myself from head to toe. 

Standing at the door, holding my katana down at my side, I took a breath before opening the door and swiftly moving to the side. I waited for the first few walkers to walk in as I stood to the side of the door and as the first one staggered in, it turned at the sight of me. It looked straight at me before continuing to walk in, passing me unfazed. The one behind did the same. It was working. I began slowly and cautiously to push my way out the door against the walkers, eventually making it out and I was now amongst the herd in the courtyard. 

Rick was nowhere to be seen. He had probably fired those shots and was forced to flee. Then as I carefully made my way through the walkers, up the courtyard towards the gates in front, I kick something with my foot. Looking down, I see Judith’s baby carrier and it was covered in blood. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at it any longer because if I did I knew I’d cry, and I needed to keep it together to get out this herd. So, I pushed forward as I pushed the thought of what probably happened to Judith out of my mind. Coming up towards the gate to the yard, moving around the burning tank, I look to see the yard was also full of walkers. But suddenly, as I look out, in the distance I spot a few people escaping into the woods approaching the treeline off to the side of the prison. It looked like Tyreese was with Lizzie and Mika. Having no other option or clue what or where to go, I continue to cautiously make my way through the onslaught of walkers in their direction.

Just like the courtyard, it takes a while to move through the walkers, making sure I don’t move too quick or draw too much attention. If I got caught in this, I’d die for sure. I have to go across the yard, before moving out through the broken down fences. I move along the fence line across the prison towards where it was I had seen Tyreese and the girls rush into the woods, still be careful around the walkers. When I finally neared the treeline, the amount of walkers had lessened, only a few were scattered around where I was now. I rushed to the treeline only to stop when I stood there. I turned around to look back at the prison, realising after walking away from it, this would be the last time I or any of us, any of us who survived, would see it. As I stood there, covered in walker blood, I stared back at the prison. The place we called home, the place we had family buried. Now on fire. Smoke and flames rose from it as looked on with sadness, grief, anger, pretty much every emotion as it all hit me at once. I had no idea where everyone was. Where Daryl was. If he or anyone else was alive. I had to find Tyreese and the girls. I had to and I was going to. I’d start tracking them and I get to them eventually. I’d make sure. Slowly turning back around to face the woods, I look out ahead and take the first step away from the prison headed into the woods.

I’d spent the rest of the daylight tracking Tyreese and the girls; they’d gotten pretty far ahead while I had to move through the herd of walkers out the prison. I’d found a spot of water; took a drink from it and then cleaned the dried walker blood from my skin, before resuming to track. I did it as long as I could until it got dark and I had to face the fact I needed to make shelter. Tracking in the dark, I’d just be tripping over myself. I hadn’t slept really at all, keeping an ear and eye out for any walkers through the night. But I was always starting to be plagued with my own bad thoughts keeping me up. I wondered if I would find the others. That I’d probably not see Daryl again. If he was alive. And if he was, did he even know I was. Probably not. Then I wondered if I would end giving birth out here, alone. I didn’t know if survival alone was enough anymore either, after everything we’d all built together. All I knew was that I wasn’t sure I could make it on my own anymore. I had eventually and unintentionally gone to sleep for a little while; I woke up when it was starting to become light realising I had fallen asleep, remembering it was still dark as the last thing I recalled. I shook it off and resumed my hunt for the girls and Tyreese, following their tracks. I would find them, because you couldn't make it without people. Not anymore.


	10. ten

Lizzie and Mika were walking in front, on a trail through the woods. They’d been going through the woods, spending the night there also, since the prison fell the day before. Tyreese was behind them, carrying Judith in his arms as she babbled, despite his wound to his arm he got in the attack from the prison. They were all walking along this trail, going nowhere in particular, just searching for good shelter and safety wherever they could find it, when the girls stopped by a shrub, Mika realising that it was growing grapes.

“Look, grapes. Can we eat them?” she asks.

“Yeah, they’re good.” Tyreese affirms and both the girls start to pluck some to eat as Judith’s babbles turned into cries.

Tyreese tries to shush her but as he lifts her up, he smells that she needs changing. “Lizzie, hand me a diaper.” He says.

As Tyreese changes Judith, her cries intensify, growing substantially loud.

“They’re gonna hear her.” Mika worryingly points out, referring to walkers.

Tyreese continues to finish changing her, but Judith keeps crying. He repeatedly tries to shush her, asking her what she wants, not knowing what else to do as Lizzie and Mika each sit at his side. Something suddenly rustles in a bush behind them, making them all jump, but mostly Mika, who grabs onto Tyreese’s arm, right on his wound.

“They’re coming!” Mika exclaims as Tyreese grunts in pain, rising to a stand.

“I heard it, Mika.” Tyreese snaps.

“Don’t yell at her. She doesn’t understand walkers.” Lizzie defends. 

“You’re the one who doesn’t understand them.” Mika retorts. 

Tyreese lays Judith down on her mat where he just changed her. He looks up to the girls, pushing them closer to her. “Come on. Watch the baby.” He whispers to them before taking his hammer weapon from his belt and cautiously approaching the bush. As he nears it, weapon in hand, birds suddenly fly from it, startling Mika who proceeds to run off from the trail.

“Mika! Mika!” Lizzie shouts after her, grabbing the bag as Tyreese grabs Judith and they run after her. 

Running through the woods, Tyreese calls out for Mika with Lizzie behind him.

“She’s gone. You yelled at her. Now she’s gone.” She snaps as they run.

But then Tyreese slows as he spots her as she shows herself out from hiding behind a tree. They both rush over to her.

“Are you okay?” Tyreese asks worryingly.

“I got scared.” Mika admits, looking a little ashamed.

“That’s okay. We all get scared. You did the right thing running.” Tyreese assures.

“What?” Lizzie spits.

“She did. You hear or see a walker, you run. But when you’re in a group, you gotta try to stay close to ‘em, okay?” Tyreese instructs gently and she nods her understanding.

“You’re bleeding.” Mika states, seeing some blood trickle from his wound on his arm. “Did I hurt your arm bad?” she asks.

“It was a lot worse at the prison. No big.” Tyreese reassures her.

“I’m sorry. I know I’m not like Lizzie.” She apologies.

“Don’t be sorry. You each do things your own way, but you both get it done.” Tyreese points out, an effort to comfort her further.

“Like you and Sasha?” she smiles.

“You’re not like Sasha.” Lizzie chimes. “Why not?” Mika questions.

“Because you’re still here and Sasha isn’t.” Lizzie states, unfazed by the brutal honesty she’d just said, which Tyreese did find a little brutal. But the thoughts were suddenly forgotten when they heard a scream somewhere in the distance, all of them looking around. Tyreese takes the bag off of lizzie’s shoulder, putting it on the ground before he hands her Judith to hold.

“What are you doing?” she asks as he moves them both back to back, beside the bag.

“I’m making sure you can see in both directions. You stay like this and keep watch.” Tyreese orders. 

“You’re leaving us?” Mika questions concerningly just as another distant scream is heard.

“They may be from the prison. I need to help them.” Tyreese points out.

“We need you.” Mika states.

“Mika, tuck your shirt behind your knife, so it’s easier to grab.” Lizzie instructs her from behind, referring to the one she gave her to put on her belt the day before, when she had said she was scared and wanted Y/N. The knife she had given Lizzie. “We’ll be okay.” She assures Tyreese, who hands Mika his gun as another scream rings.

“What do you do when you see a walker?” Tyreese questions.

“Run.” they both answer, one after the other. 

“Together, towards me. Only fire if you have to, and you stay right here until I get back, okay?” Tyreese orders, going to step off.

“Please. Please, don’t go.” She pleads.

“Mika, look at me.” Tyreese says as he steps back to her. “You can handle this. You’re tough.” He states before running off towards the scream.

-

As I followed some tracks along a trail, I suddenly heard a scream. It was one single scream somewhere far in the distance. It had more or less come from the direction the tracks we’re leading. What if it was them? I rushed forward, following the tracks at a much quicker pace. They kept on the trail for a while until they speared off it, I saw some squashed grapes by its shrub on the floor, that showed where the rest of the tracks continued. They’d, or whoever it was, had run off in a hurry. I heard another scream again, this time a little louder, and it definitely came in the direction of where the tracks were headed. I resumed my pace, following them again, hearing a couple more screams as I did, louder each time but still distant. I was running, best I could, when I suddenly heard a gunshot go off, but it wasn’t distant, it came from straight ahead of me. I kept running towards it, dismissing the tracks now and just following where the crack of a gun had just fired when I pushed past a bush and came up behind two walkers snarling. They were approaching something in front. I immediately swung at the first, decapitating it before swinging back at the other in front of it, slicing its head in two. When it fell to the ground, I was faced by Mika holding a gun with Lizzie stood directly behind her facing away. I’d actually and finally found them. Mika’s petrified face suddenly broke into a contrasting huge smile as I smiled back with a sigh of relief.

“Y/N!” she calls as she runs at me, wrapping herself around me. 

Lizzie turns at Mika’s call and I see she has a matching smile as she comes over too but she was also holding Judith. She’d lived. She was alive. I breathed an even bigger sigh of relief at the sight. I didn’t care how they got her out, I was just happy to see that they did, and to see her. And if Rick were alive somewhere out there, I was happy for him too. As they stood before me, beaming grins, I realise only now that Tyreese was missing. 

I crouch down to the girl’s level. “Where’s Tyreese?” I question as I take the gun from Mika, putting it in my belt.

“He left us, to help people. They were screaming.” Mika states as I grab Judith from Lizzie.

“Where did he go? Show me.” I ask, rising to a stand and they point in his direction. 

“Come on, quick.” I say as Lizzie grabs their bag and we rush off to find Tyreese. 

Now having followed Tyreese’s tracks, I could see not far ahead now we were nearing a clearing of some sort. I started to hear shouts and grunts of people fighting, accompanied by moans and snarls of walkers. When we finally broke into the clearing, it was a railway track and coming down onto it I saw Tyreese taking down a walker. He was amongst several bodies, both walker and only recently dead, laid around on the ground at the side of the track. He was repeatedly bringing his weapon down on a walkers head, trying to help a man when I called to him.

“Tyreese.” I call from behind and he turns to see us three. His face looks at me as if in disbelief and his sadness in his eyes, brings out mine. He strides over and carefully brings me into an embrace, careful of Judith I held at my side. I feel a tear run down my cheek, one of joy that I’d found them all and at Ty’s reaction to seeing me.

“How’d you- how’d you find us?” he questions, coming out the hug.

“Been tracking you from the prison. It took--,” I began explaining as a man started to cry, the one Tyreese had been helping, grabbing our attention. 

“Girls, stay here.” I order as I move through them with Tyreese beside me, towards the crying man.

He fell to his knees, crying over a body of someone he had known. He was also bit, so he was dying. 

“Stay on the tracks.” He suddenly announces as we approach him, coming to a stop. “That was my mistake.” He adds.

“Bu the woods have more cover.” I retort, a little confused as to why he’d say that.

“No. You don’t understand. There’s a place up the tracks. It’s safe. You can- you can take the children there.” he explains. Tyreese and I glance at each other, unsure before looking back to the man.

“Trust me. Please, follow the tracks.” He pleads. We look at each once again, before nodding at the crying man and without anymore words, we hesitatingly walked back, leaving him crying over a young man, maybe his son. All of us started walking along the track, like he’d said, his cries becoming more faint and distant the further we walked. 

“Tyreese, I didn’t run. I didn’t leave Lizzie.” Mika announces behind as we were going along the track, following it towards this so called safe place, that we’d been walking to for a little while. If it was even there.

“See now? Tough little lady.” Ty comforts. I turn and smile back at them after hearing their words.

“Hey, I didn’t see you get out. I thought you got shot, others too. We saw you go down.” Tyreese points out suddenly, causing us to stop walking momentarily. He looked me up and down, gesturing to the walker blood I’d stained my clothes with. 

“It’s walker blood. I’m fine. I was- fine. I was hit but it was just a graze. I went inside to look for-- anyone. When I came back out, the place was overrun. I had to mask myself to get through it all. Then I saw you running into the woods while I was in it. you were far away, and it took me a while to get out. I lost you for a while, but--,” I explain.

“You found us.” Mika interjects, with a smile. I nod at her with a smile.

“I knew you would.” Lizzie states, and I extend my smile to her, touching her shoulder to urge her forward, so we’d start walking again. 

As we walked again, the girls up in front, we neared a bridge that ran high over the track. When we got closer, the girls pointed out a sign.

“Look.” Lizzie points out, gesturing to the sign at the side of the track beside the bridge.

We all moved towards it and Mika started to read it aloud.

“Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive survive.” She reads. Both of them look back to us with a smile, as Ty gives them a nod in recognition I look over the sign. Those words stirred something in me, I just wasn’t sure what. The words Mika had read out were above a map of what appeared to be a large part of Georgia. It had ‘terminus’ written on the map in large letters under a star marked roughly in the middle of the map which had several lines marked out of routes all around leading to it. I found it a little strange, a place announcing themselves so freely and clearly around a lot of the area. Re-reading the words again, it suddenly clicks in me. The radio broadcast we had heard on the run to the college. It was full of static, but I remember the words we had heard, and they seemed to match the ones on the sign. Even so, for some reason, it just didn’t sit right with me, I wasn’t sure why. But then again, we didn’t really have any other options.

As the girls continued to walk ahead in front of us, I mentioned it to Tyreese.

“You remember on the run to the college, for the meds, we heard that fuzzy broadcast on the radio?” I question.

“Yeah. You think that’s what it is?” Tyreese asks.

“Words match. It said sanctuary, survive, the same things on the sign. It just came to me when I read it.” I answer.

“The map covered a lot of tracks, in a lot of directions. Maybe others are there or trying to get there.” He points out.

“What if it’s too good to be true?” I question.

“What makes you say that?” he asks.

“I don’t know. A feeling I guess.” I explain.

“It says sanctuary. That’s just one reason to try and get there. If others from the prison are there, that’s another.” Tyreese reasons and I nod, pushing my thoughts away, figuring his hope was better than my doubt as we walked the tracks. Tyreese was right. Others could be there, they could. Daryl could be there, I thought. But it was all if’s and maybe’s and I didn’t know if I wanted to rest mine and my baby’s, let alone Judith’s and the girl’s lives on those.


	11. eleven

Daryl had ended up with Beth when the prison fell. He was quiet, angry, sad, grieving, just about everything you would be when you thought you saw your partner get shot. He had initially seen Beth as a bit of burden, thinking she was dragging him down, thinking he could do better on his own. But after what he thought he’d lost, he figured he needed someone; survival on your own after everything they had, just wasn’t worth it. Daryl and Beth had gone on an escapade on Beth’s insistency to have her first drink, a real drink as she had put it. Daryl being reluctant and resentful at first, finally gave in and they came across a gold course. Beth adamant that the country club would have a bar they proceeded to sweep it. At some point a grandfather clock chimed and it brought a cluster of walkers upon them. Daryl took them down one by one as they followed them into a room, but with his crossbow knocked from his hand, he used a golf club to kill the last few. He killed them all with straight shots and stabs to their heads, except the last. His emotional rage rising as he killed each one, he didn’t go for the head on that last, he instead beat it with the golf club to the ground, continuing to do so when it was. He pummelled the walker again and again in angered grief until he finally took a shot to its head. After finding the bar, the only drink Beth could find was a half empty bottle of peach schnapps. She’d asked if it were any good, to which Daryl quickly grunted no in response. Having not being able to find a clean glass without blood, and now staring at the bottle, all her thoughts of what was and where they’d found themselves now, Beth had started to cry. Daryl seeing this, felt a little pity for her and decided to take the bottle from her, smashing it on the floor, telling her that her first drink wasn’t going to be peach schnapps. He remembered a place they could trek to, not too far from here if he had got his bearings right, where Beth could have a real first drink.

“A motorcycle mechanic.” Beth suddenly chimes as they near the place Daryl was leading her.

“Huh?” Daryl mumbles.

“That’s my guess, for what you were doing before the turn. Did Zach ever guess that one?” Beth explains.

“Don’t matter. Hasn’t mattered for a long time.” Daryl answers.

“It’s just what people talk about, you know, to feel normal.” Beth defends.

“Yeah. Well it never felt normal to me.” Daryl retorts as he pushes the branches of a tree to the side to reveal an old, abandoned shack.

Both of them look at the rundown wooden house, Beth seeming a little confused as to what exactly they’d find in there.

“Found this place with Y/N.” Daryl sadly announces.   
“I’ll be honest. I was expecting a liquor store.” She says.

“Naw, this is better.” Daryl points out, before heading over, Beth right behind him.

Walking around the shack, to a shed, Daryl goes inside knowing exactly what it was he was looking for and where it was. Grabbing a box full of glass jars, Beth saw all of them were containing a clear liquid that just looked like water.

“What’s that?” she asks.

“Moonshine.” Daryl answers as he hands her the box.

They both move around back to the shack, heading inside. It was just one big room from first appearances and was in a complete mess. It had a small living room that led into the kitchen but there was a door at the other end, presumably leading to a bedroom. Daryl quietly walked through towards the door, creaking it open a crack to peek inside. When he saw it was clear, he turned back to Beth, who was standing holding the box of moonshine, and nodded that it was safe. She put the box down on a small dining table, sitting down at it, as Daryl stepped over. He grabbed a glass from the sink’s draining board, cluttered with kitchenware, blowing in it to get dust out, before grabbing one of the jars of moonshine.

“That’s a real first drink right there.” he states as he pours a little into the glass, handing it over to Beth.

She looks at it with a little hesitation as Daryl stands by the table. “What’s the matter?” Daryl questions.

“Nothing. It’s just-- my dad always said bad moonshine can make you go blind.” Beth explains.

“Ain’t nothin’ worth seein’ out there anymore anyway.” Daryl points out.

Beth finally takes a sip; her face scrunching up as it the drink hits her mouth and throat. “That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted.” Beth says.

Daryl shrugs before she then downs the rest in her glass. “Second rounds better.” She chimes, with a small smile, before grabbing the jar to pour more.

“Slow down.” Daryl instructs.

“This one’s for you.” She points out as she pours.

“Nah, I’m good.” he says. “Why?” Beth asks, looking a little disappointed.

“Someone’s gotta keep watch.” Daryl explains.

“So what, you’re like my chaperone now?” Beth questions.

Daryl groans. “Just drink lots of water.” He says as he moves away into the living room space.

“Yes, Mr. Dixon.” Beth pokes.

Daryl turns to face her. “Don’t call me that, alright?” he snaps a little. The name making him think how Y/N would tease him, and he didn’t want to be reminded. 

“Sorry.” Beth mutters, looking back at him a little puzzled as to why it had got under his skin so much before he continues looking for things to block the windows with.

As Daryl hammered lightly, not to make too much noise, some things to the windows, Beth looked around the shack. When she found something she thought looked godawful, she pulled it out from beside one of the armchairs, placing it in front of her with a chuckle so Daryl could see it.

“Who’d go into a store and walk out with this?” she questions amused by a huge statuesque pink bra meant for putting your cigarettes out on, which was full of them.

“My dad, that’s who.” Daryl announces as he turns to look at what it was she was referencing. She looks at him a little disbelieving, thinking why anyone would buy something like that. “Oh, he was a dumbass. He would set those up on top of the TV set, use ‘em as target practise.” He adds.

“He shot things inside of your house?” Beth asks, a little stunned.

“It was just a bunch of junk anyway. That’s how I knew what this place was. That shed out there? My dad had a place just like this. You got your dumpster chair, that’s for sittin’ in, in your draws all summer drinkin’. You got your fancy buckets. That’s for spittin’ chaw in after your old lady tells you to stop smokin’.” Daryl explains. He picks up a newspaper from off the TV at his side. “You got your- your internet.” He adds, Beth giving him a sad smile when they suddenly hear snarling from outside. 

Daryl gestures for her to stay put as she goes to get up. He looks through a gap out the window to see a lone walker coming up to the side of the shack.

“Ah, it’s just one of ‘em.” Daryl announces back to Beth.

“Should we get it?” she questions.

“If it keeps making too much noise, yeah.” Daryl replies.

Beth looks back to her jar of moonshine. “Well- if we’re gonna be trapped again, we might as well make the best of it.” Beth points out, grabbing the jar. “Unless you’re too busy chaperoning.” She smiles, holding out the jar to Daryl.

He looks at her for a moment, contemplating. “Well, might as well make the best of it.” he repeats, taking the jar from her. 

Beth grabs her glass, sitting on the floor beside the armchair which Daryl perches himself in. He unscrews the top of the jar, glancing at Beth who raises her glass.

“Home sweet home.” Daryl deflatingly mumbles before they both take a sip, Daryl more of a glug. 

Beth had convinced Daryl to play a drinking game, as they had been sat there in silence for a moment, sipping at their moonshine. She thought of the only one she knew and when Daryl grunted his approval she grabbed a basket, flipping it over and placing it in front of the armchair to put the drinks on. She sat behind it as Daryl slid off the armchair onto the floor, resting against the chair as he now sat in front it, listening to Beth explain the game.

“So first, I say something I’ve never done, and if you have done it, you drink, and if you haven’t, I drink. Then we switch.” Beth explains and Daryl only slightly nods in understanding, thinking it sounded a little dumb. “You really don’t know this game?” Beth asks.

“I ain’t never needed a game to get lit before.” Daryl replies. 

“Wait, are we starting?” Beth questions.

“How you know this game?” Daryl curiously asks.

“My friends played. I watched. --Okay, I’ll start.” Beth answers.

She thinks for a second. “I’ve never shot a crossbow. So now you drink.” She states.

“Ain’t much of a game.” Daryl points out, grabbing his jar of moonshine to take a gulp.

“That was a warmup. Now you go.” Beth retorts.

“Hm. I don’t know.” Daryl mumbles, not really sure what to say.

“Just say the first thing that pops into your head.” Beth urges. 

“I’ve never been out of Georgia.” Daryl states.

“Really? Okay, good one.” Beth replies, taking a sip.

“I’ve never- been drunk and did something I regretted.” Beth says. 

Daryl takes another gulp. “I done a lotta things.” He chimes. 

“Your turn.” Beth points out and Daryl thinks.

“I never been on vacation.” He states. 

“What about camping?” Beth questions.

“Nah. That was just somethin’ I had to learn, to hunt.” Daryl explains.

“Your dad teach you?” she asks. “Mmhmm.” He mumbles. “Okay.” She shrugs, taking another sip.

“I’ve never-- been in jail. I mean as a prisoner.” Beth says and Daryl looks at her slightly provoked and hurt by the assumption, causing her to chuckle a little nervously. 

“That’s what you think of me?” he questions.

“I didn’t mean anything serious. I just thought, you know, like the drunk tank. Even my dad got locked up for that back in the day.” Beth defends. 

“Drink up.” he orders.

“Wait-- prison guard. Were you a prison guard before?” Beth suddenly chirps. 

Daryl stares at her. “No.”

“It’s your turn again.” Beth states.

Daryl continues to glare, before slapping his hand on the basket to push himself up. “Imma take a piss.” He announces, getting up and grabbing his jar to take with him. Walking away from Beth to the other side of the room, he drops his jar to undo his belt and trousers, and it smashes on the floor with a crash.

“You have to be quiet.” Beth warns him.

“Can’t hear you. I’m takin’ a piss.” Daryl calls over, raising his voice.

“Daryl, don’t talk so loud.” She insists.

“What are you my chaperone, now?” he spits, turning his head at her as he takes a piss.

He finishes and starts buttoning up his trousers and belt, turning back to Beth. “Oh wait, it’s my turn, right? I never, uh-- I never eaten frozen yoghurt. I never had a pet pony. Never got nothin’ from Santa Claus. Never relied on anyone for protection before. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever relied on anyone for anything.” Daryl pokes, his voice getting louder into a yell as he talks, pacing around the room in anger.

“Daryl-,” Beth says, seeing his anger, trying to calm him but he continues to yell.

“Never sung out in front of a big group out in public like everything was fun, like everything was a big game. I sure as hell never cut my wrists looking for attention.” Daryl jabs at Beth, referring lastly to what she had done to herself way back at the farm.

The noise had riled the walker that was still lurking outside, and it started thudding and snarling at the shack wall outside. 

“Oh, sounds like our friend out there is tryin’ to call over his buddies.” Daryl exclaims as he walks over to his crossbow.

“Daryl, just shut up.” Beth spits.

“Hey, you never shot a crossbow before? I’m gonna teach ya right now.” Daryl calls grabbing his crossbow, walking back over to Beth.

“Come on, it’s gonna be fun.” He adds as he grabs her arm, dragging her to the door.

“We should stay inside.” She argues as he kicks the door open.

“Daryl, cut it out Daryl!” Beth snaps as he drags her behind him by her arm out and around the shack towards the walker clawing at its wall. The walker comes out from a bush by one of the windows of the shack, next to a tree.

“Dumbass. Come ‘ere, dumbass.” Daryl urges the walker before shooting a bolt into its shoulder, attaching it to the tree.

“Daryl--,” Beth begins, wanting to stop him. “You wanna shoot?” he asks, loading another arrow.

“I- I don’t know how.” Beth answers. 

“Oh, it’s easy. Come ‘ere.” Daryl says, grabbing Beth around her collarbone and shoulders, holding the crossbow in front of her. He shoots another arrow into its other shoulder.

She pushes from him. “Let’s practise later.” She exclaims.

“Come on, it’s fun.” Daryl retorts as he reloads his crossbow.

“Just stop it, Daryl!” Beth pleads.

“Come ‘ere.” He says, grabbing her by her collarbone and shoulders again as he holds the crossbow in front of her. “Eight ball.” He mutters before shooting a bolt into its leg. 

“Just kill it!” Beth yells, pushing from his grip once again.

“Come here, Greene. Let’s pull these out, get a ‘lil more target practise.” He orders marching towards the walker stuck to the tree.

Beth, however, rushes past him and stabs it in the head, killing it.

“What the hell you do that for? We was havin’ fun.” Daryl spits as Beth starts to stride off.

“No. You were being a jackass. If anyone found my dad--,” Beth turns and snaps at Daryl, but he cuts her off.

“Don’t. That ain’t remotely the same.” He snaps back.

“Killing them is not supposed to be fun.” She retorts.

“What do you want from me, girl? Huh?” Daryl yells, getting in her face a little.

“I want you to stop acting like you don’t give a crap about anything, like nothing we went through matters, like none of the people we lost meant anything to you. It’s bullshit!” Beth bursts and Daryl looks at her hurt through his emotional anger, through his grief.

“Is that what you think?” he questions, the hurt coming out in his voice.

“That’s what I know.” Beth whimpers slightly.

“You don’t know nothin’.” Daryl spits.

“I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl. I’m not Michonne or Maggie, I’m not Carol-- I’m not Y/N. I survived and you don’t get it ’cause I’m not like you or them, but I made it. and you don’t get to treat me like crap just because you’re afraid.” Beth explains annoyed.

“I ain’t afraid of nothin’.” Daryl coldly states, staring Beth in the face.

“I remember when that little girl came out of the barn, after my mom- you were like me.” Beth suddenly announces, bringing up memories that hurt him. Daryl felt his emotions building at the thought of what happened to Sophia, making him think about what happened to Y/N and he away from Beth. “And now- after everything, god forbid you let anybody get too close.” She spits leaning into his shoulder.

“Too close, huh?” Daryl chimes, facing her, his anger spiking again. “You know all about that. You lost two boyfriends, you can’t even shed a tear. Your whole family’s gone. All you can do is go out lookin’ for hooch like some dumb college bitch.” Daryl yells.

“Screw you. You don’t get it.” Beth retorts.

“No, you don’t get it. Everyone we know’s dead!” Daryl shouts.

“You don’t know that!” Beth yells back.

“Might as well, ‘cause you ain’t never gonna see ‘em again.” Daryl shouts, getting right in her face. Beth holds in her cries, whimpering a little after Daryl takes a step back. “Y/N. Rick. You ain’t never gonna see Maggie again.” He continues yelling.

Beth steps forward to him. “Daryl, just stop.” She urges, grabbing his arm but he pushes her off. “No.” he snaps as he turns around from her, feeling his emotions starting to complete take over.

“The Governor rolled right up to our gates.” Daryl says, breathing heavy. “Maybe if I wouldn’t have stopped lookin’, maybe ‘cause I gave up. That’s on me.” he continues, trying to hold back his tears.

“Daryl.” Beth says, touching his arm again from behind, noticing his change of emotions but he shrugs her off him again.

“And Y/N. And your dad. Maybe he wouldn’t have been killed. Maybe she wouldn’t have been s--shot. Maybe I coulda done somethin’. They’d still be here. She’d-- she’d still be here.” He adds, pain and hurt so evident in his voice, that it makes Beth step forward and wrap her arms around him, holding herself against his back, embracing him in comfort. He allows it, standing there pained by his grief before he finally lets go and his tears stream down his face as he sobs with Beth holding him.

After their emotional argument and grief ridden encounter, they’d both gone back inside the shack. While waiting and sweating off the moonshine, it eventually started to turn dark and they’d moved out onto the porch to watch the sun go down, silence plaguing them ever since.

“I get why my dad stopped drinking.” Beth announces.

“You feel sick?” Daryl gently asks.

“Nope. I wish I could feel like this all the time, but that’s bad.” Beth answers.

“You’re lucky you’re a happy drunk.” Daryl points out.

“Yeah, I’m lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink.” She pokes playfully, only a slight smirk on her face.

“Yeah. I’m a dick when I’m drunk.” Daryl agrees, arching the corner of his mouth into a tiny smirk back. They sit there for a short moment in silence again, before Daryl decides to talk about something in his past, giving her an insight into his seeing as Beth had asked about it before.

“You know, Merle had this dealer, this janky little white guy, tweaker. One day we were over at his house watchin’ TV. Wasn’t even noon yet. We were all wasted. Merle was high. We were watchin’ this show and Merle was talkin’ all this dumb stuff about it. He wouldn’t let up. Merle never could. Turns out it was the tweaker’s kid’s favourite show and he never sees his kid, so, he erh, felt guilty about it or somethin’. So he punches Merle in the face. So I started hittin’ the tweaker like hard, hard as I can. And he- he pulls a gun, he sticks it right here.” Daryl narrates, putting his fingers to the side of his head, showing where the gun was held on him. “He says, I’m gonna kill you, bitch. So Merle pulls his gun on him. Everyone’s yellin’. I’m yellin’. I thought I was dead over a dumb cartoon ‘bout a talkin’ dog.” He explains with a scoff at the memory.

“How’d you get out of it?” Beth asks.

“The tweaker punched me in the gut. I puked. They both started laughin’. We forgot all about it.” he finishes and they stare at each other for a second.

“You wanna know where I was before all this? I was just driftin’ around with Merle, doin’ whatever he said we were gonna be doin’ that day. I was nobody-- nothin’. Just some redneck asshole, with an even bigger asshole for a brother.” Daryl admits, looking down as if now ashamed of his past.

“Y/N didn’t think so. Couldn’t have been that bad if she were with you.” Beth points out kindly, making him look back to her. “You two were always together at the farm. And she seemed like the only one who saw past Merle’s crappy behaviour.” She adds.

“Yeah. I don’t know what she saw in me. In either of us.” Daryl replies, looking sad in thought. “She deserved better.” He states.

“No. You can’t say or think that. She was happy with you. You were both happy together. We all saw it. You two rivalled Glenn and Maggie at the best of times.” She argues, chuckling to herself, getting a small smile from Daryl.

“You miss them, don’t you? Even Merle.” she questions and Daryl’s smile fades; he doesn’t respond.

“I miss Maggie. I miss her bossing me around. I miss my big brother Shawn. He was so annoying and overprotective.” Beth smiles sadly. “And my dad.” She adds, her face dropping completely.

“I thought-- I hoped he’d just live the rest of his life in peace, you know. I thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby, and he’d get to be a grandpa, and we’d have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics. And he’d get really old, --and it’d happen, but it’d be quiet. It’d be okay. He’d be surrounded by the people he loved.” She explains, shrugging at the dream like notion now, holding her tears back. “That’s how unbelievably stupid I am.” She laughs through a few tears that do fall.

“That’s how it was supposed to be.” Daryl sadly points out as she wipes them away.

“I wish I could just- change.” Beth announces. 

“You did.” Daryl states.

“Not enough. Not like you-- or Y/N. It’s like you and her were made for how things are now.” she counters.

“Nah. I’m just used to this, things bein’ ugly, growin’ up in a place like this. Same with Y/N. The world wasn’t kind or fair to her.” Daryl explains.

“But you got away from it. You both did.” Beth points out.

“I didn’t.” He replies.

“You did.” She persists.

“Maybe you got to keep on remindin’ me sometimes.” Daryl says.

“Did Y/N?” she asks but he doesn’t respond. “I thought you can’t depend on anybody for anything, right?” she pokes but he says nothing again.

“I’ll be gone someday.” She states.

“Stop.” Daryl quietly blurts.

“I will.” She retorts. “You’re gonna be the last man standing. You are.” Beth states but Daryl just looks at her, saddened by the idea yet unconvinced.

“You’re gonna miss me so bad when I’m gone, Daryl Dixon.” Beth sadly states.

Daryl sighs. “You ain’t a happy drunk at all.” he points out.

“Yeah, I’m happy. I’m just not blind.” Beth retorts.

“You gotta stay who you are, not who you were. Places like this, you have to put it away. You did at the prison- with Y/N.” she explains. 

“Might have looked that way.” He replies. “What if you can’t?” he questions.

“You have to, or it kills you.” She answers. “Here.” she adds, gesturing to her heart.

Daryl looks down, not being able to hold a look on Beth after hearing her words, before looking out at the woods. “We should go inside.” He says, eventually looking back to Beth, who was harbouring a slight smile.

“We should burn it down.” Beth suggests, now smiling brightly at the idea.

Daryl gets up, stepping towards the door to the shack. He turns back to face Beth. “We’re gonna need more booze.” He states before walking back inside, Beth gleaming behind him as she followed.

The two of them began happily dosing the whole inside of the shack with the rest of the moonshine. Using every drop they had in the box, the jars and bottles full of the stuff. They soaked the inside of the shack, the shed, chucking jars up the porch, smashing the glass and moonshine across it. Once they’d emptied and smashed all that was left, they walked out a little away from the porch, turning back to face it.

“You want to?” Daryl asks, holding out some matches to Beth as he holds a wad of cash that he’d found at the country club in his other hand, thinking it useful to keep fires going at the time. Now it was going to help start this one. 

“Hell yeah.” Beth replies, taking the matches from him. He holds the wad of cash out and she ignites the match before then lighting the money. Daryl throws it at the shack and it lands on the porch, lighting it instantly. They start to walk away as the shack quickly becomes engulfed in the flames, before turning around to look back at it as it burned. As the flames roared, Beth sticks her finger up at the burning shack, flipping it off with a big smile. She looks to Daryl and nudges him, urging him to do the same to which he copies, joining her in flipping it off. But it wasn’t just to the shack, it was to his troubled past, something he’d moved away from now. 

A few walkers started to appear in the darkened distance, slightly illuminated by the flames as they stumbled towards the shack. Dropping his finger and arm, Daryl urged Beth for them to turn and leave and that’s what they did. Beth turned and started walking away, with Daryl behind. As he turned away from the burning shack, following behind Beth, a small smile came across his face as he walked away; he was burning away his past, the part of himself he had grown to hate. Even though he’d lost Y/N, and he’d do just about anything to have her back, he was still here. And so was Beth. They would have to survive together and live, for the others. Perhaps surviving with Beth, after everything, wasn’t so bad after all, he thought.


	12. twelve

Terminus was far. We’d been out here a few days, since the prison, and we still had more to go before we got to our destination, that I was still a little wary of, but I kept it to myself. For now, at least. 

It was night and Tyreese and Mika were sleeping as we stopped on the side of the tracks under a bridge, while I kept watch. Tyreese had said he would keep watch, but I insisted that he did, figuring he probably hadn’t since the prison, having looked after the kids. Lizzie had decided to join, staying awake with me, not that she needed to. I leant against a pillar of the bridge, holding a sleeping Judith in my arms, and I observed as Lizzie kept looking out around us. I felt a little amused at her want to help keep us safe, looking out around all the time. “You can sleep, Lizzie. I’m okay.” I tell her, with a small smile.

She turns to face me. “If there’s trouble, I can take Judith. I can help.” She states.

“So, you think you can help me, huh? I tease.

“I know I can, ma’am.” She assures. 

I scoff a little in amusement. “You don’t have to call me ma’am, Lizzie.” I point out but she doesn’t respond, instead just looks over at Tyreese and Mika.

“Do you think there’ll be kids there? At Terminus?” Lizzie questions.

“If their parents kept them safe, like Tyreese kept all of you safe.” I answer.

“I saved Tyreese. There were people shooting at him. I shot them. First, a man. Then, a woman. I didn’t mean to shoot her in the head.” She states, and I see she still has her thing about the walkers. 

“You had to. You saved Tyreese.” I reassure her, hiding my discontent at her last remark.

“Maybe there’s other kids there. Even if their parents couldn’t keep them safe, maybe the kids kept their parents safe.” Lizzie states.

“Yeah.” I reply with a smile.

“Did you have kids before? Or is this your first one?” She asks and my smile fades a little, although it doesn’t fade completely, it remains a little at the happier memories of Sophia.

“I did. A kid. A daughter.” I answer.

“What was she like?” She questions.

“She was sweet. Much like Mika.” I state, looking over at her. “She didn’t have a mean bone in her body.” I add.

“Is that why she isn’t here now?” she asks. The question hits me a little, it was innocently brutal, but it also made me wonder if Lizzie thought that, did she think Mika wasn’t going to make it. 

“Maybe.” I sadly reply.

“Do you miss her?” she questions. 

“Every day.” I state.

“Would you miss me?” she asks and I face back to her.

“I’m not gonna have to miss you.” I tell her with a small smile. “Now, you go sleep next to your sister, okay?” I order.

“But I can--,” Lizzie begins protesting. “No, I’m gonna need your help looking after things tomorrow. Go to sleep. Okay?” I interject.

She rises to her feet and gives me a hug, being careful of Judith, before stepping over and setting herself down besides Mika and Tyreese. As she does, Tyreese begins to mumble in his sleep, repeatedly muttering no. He was obviously having a nightmare. He suddenly woke himself up and looked around at us. I gave him a nod, letting him know everything was fine and he resumed to go back to sleep without a word.

The following morning, as we were walking along the track, Tyreese had groaned quietly to himself when he was carrying the bag and it slide off his shoulder down his arm. I asked what was wrong and he showed me his cut on his arm. It looked as thought it was starting to get infected, and as I felt his forehead I could feel the start of a fever. I immediately thought of something Daryl had taught me way back, around the time of the farm. A certain sap from a certain type of tree could fight the infection and fortunately for him, those types were around I these woods. I took Lizzie off the tracks and showed her one of those trees, telling her what to do to extract some of the sap from the tree, wanting her to learn rather than do it myself. As I watched she ended up doing it with ease.

“I’m done.” She chimes as she looks back at me with a smile, proud of herself.

I smile back at her. “Well done, good job.” I praise her. Holding my hand out, asking for the knife I had gave her, she passes it over and stick it in the open gash of tree she’d created, coating the tip in its sap. We walked back to the others and I sat by Tyreese, now covering his cut on his arm in the sap, as the girls sat up ahead, Mika holding Judith.

Tyreese groans a little. “Hurts, right.” I say. “Oh, yeah. It hurts.” He replies.

“This’ll fight the infection. Might even bring down your fever.” I explain.

“So, what do you think? Three days out? Four?” Tyreese asks.

“We haven’t seen any of those maps at the crossings. I’m not sure. But if I had to guess, maybe three or four, yeah. Could also be less, or could be more, though. Just depends I suppose.” I answer, starting to wrap his cut.

“Lizzie’s tough.” He announces after a moment. 

I nod. “When it comes to people.” I vaguely agree.

“What do you mean?” Tyreese questions.

“You haven’t seen it?” I ask and he stares at me a little blankly, still unsure as to what I mean. “How she’s confused about them, the walkers. She doesn’t see what they are. She thinks they’re just different.” I explain.

Tyreese looks over at them and I glance at them with him. “Mika the same way?” he asks as I resume finishing up his wrapping.

“No. She’s worse in a way. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.” I answer, thinking back to what I had said to Lizzie about Sophia the night before.

We’d started back up walking again along the track. Mika walked next to me, while I held Judith as Lizzie walked behind us with Tyreese.

“Did Tom Sawyer have a happy ending? We never got to finish it.” Mika asks, referring to a book back at the prison that Hershel must have given them as I knew he had one because I’d read it over a period of time to fill it.

“Well, Tom and Huck, they erh- stopped Injun Joe and his partner and wind up getting all his gold.” I inform them.

“So they wind up rich?” Mika smiles.

I smile back. “Mmhmm. And the widow Douglas adopts Huck.” I add.

“Like you adopted us?” Mika points out happily.

I roll my eyes a little in my smile at the comparison. “Yeah. I’m just like the widow Douglas.” I smirk.

“And I’m Huck Finn.” Mika gleams.

“I think you’re more like Tom Sawyer.” Lizzie chimes in from behind.

“Yeah. You’re right. You’re way more like Huck Finn. You’re not even grossed out by dead rabbits.” Mika agrees.

As we kept walking on the track, after a while I start to smell smoke. 

“You smell that?” I question, thinking there must be a fire somewhere around in the far distance. 

“Yeah. There’s a fire somewhere.” Tyreese answers, affirming my thoughts.

“Must be a big one. It isn’t anywhere around here.” I state, looking around.

“We should stop here. We need to look for water.” I suggest.

“I can do it.” Tyreese says.

“No. You need to rest that arm. Mika can help me.” I protest.

I call over to the girls in front and nod over to the woods for them to follow, as they catch back up to us we all move into the treeline off the track, Tyreese and Lizzie stopping with Judith, sitting down there while Mika and I look for water.

“You know Lizzie can carry a lot more than me.” Mika states as we walked through the woods.

“I wanted you to come ‘cause I wanted to talk to you.” I tell her.

“Why?” she asks.

“’Cause you’re little and you’re sweet, and those are two things that might not work in your favour. I don’t want to see anything happen to you. And you can’t change how big you are.” I answer.

“I wish I could.” She relays.

“You don’t have to completely shun your happy self, in fact I don’t want you to. You can just toughen up.” I clarify.

“I don’t have to be tough. I can run. I’m good at that.” She states.

“No.” I say, stopping and crouching down to her. “I know I told you two to run when there was danger. But I also said that if your life is in danger, if you or sister’s lives are in danger, you can’t be afraid to kill walkers. I’ve thought about it and now that we’re out here, you’ve got to be able to fight, Mika. My daughter ran and it wasn’t enough.” I explain.

“I can kill walkers. I mean, I tried. I’m not like my sister. I’m not messed up. I know what they are. But I can’t kill people. I could never do that. And the bad people who were at the prison, they were right in front of us. And I held up my gun, but I couldn’t pull the trigger. Killing people is wrong. Someone killed Karen and David. They just killed them. They were nice.” She states.

“Mika, I wasn’t talking about people, but now you’ve brought it up-- there are bad people out here, as well as walkers. What about people who try to kill you?” I question her.

“I don’t even wish I could.” She answers.

“People came in and killed our friends.” I reiterate.

“And I feel sorry for them.” she counters.

“Why?” I ask.

“Because they probably weren’t like that before.” She retorts before she starts walking on.

The Governor was. People like him were always the same, no matter what.

I sigh, looking down as I was still crouched on the spot. I get up and catch up to Mika’s side as we continue walking through the woods. 

“Some of them were.” I deflatingly affirm, responding to what she had said before.

“How can you know that?” she questions.

“Because I do. And you’re too young to understand how or why.” I sombrely declare, as she looks at me slightly disappointed.

“Look, sooner or later, you’re gonna have to do it. You’ll have to do it, or you’ll die. And I don’t want to see that happen. I made a promise to your dad. So you have to change. Everyone does now. Things don’t just work out.” I continue to tell her as we push through some branches and come into a clearing.

“Look.” Lizzie points out and I look over to see she was pointing at a house. It wasn’t a clearing it was garden.

We walked up it a little before Mika turned around to face me. “My mom used to say, everything works out the way it’s supposed to.” she chimes, smiling, before turning and resuming to walk up the garden as I followed. Things didn’t work out though, not anymore. Otherwise, we’d still have been at the prison. This was just extremely good timing. 

After looking around the house’s land, it was clear of walkers and the house seemed empty from looking through the windows, although we’d have to sweep it anyway, just in case. We spotted a couple deer on the land, running off into the woods at hearing our approach, as I noticed the place had a fence going around it. It was a weak and an old one, but it was something. I’d also seen a well with water, always good. I had eventually figured it was a house placed in the middle of a pecan grove, as pecans were scattered around the floor. It explained the deer clearly. Mika and I went back for Tyreese and Lizzie and Judith, leading them back the way we found it.

“What are these?” Mika asks, looking to ground as we approached the fence in the garden.

“Pecans.” I answer, looking down.

“Ooh, I love pecans.” She chimes happily.

“You know, maybe we could catch our breath here for a while.” I suggest, coming up to the fence.

“We’re still going to Terminus, right?” Lizzie questions as I detach two of the metal poles to make a space to walk through the wire fence, to keep the wire intact, but we’d have to patch it up in places regardless. 

“We’ll just stay a day or two. There’s a well full of water. The fences are not big, but they’re something. And we saw deer. They eat pecans. We should be able to kill one to eat.” I point out.

“We can eat these too, right?” Mika asks, holding some pecans in her hand.

“You can eat your fill and then some.” Tyreese assures just as Lizzie grabs our attention.

“Look.” Lizzie says, pointing up at the treetops at big column of smoke growing upwards, coming from something that was obviously burning in the distance.

“I bet that’s what we were smelling.” I point out, glancing to Tyreese. “Looks far enough away.” I add, looking back to it.

“I wonder how it started.” Mika pondered out loud.

“Maybe lightning. Maybe a campfire.” Tyreese answers.

“Nah, it looks too big for a campfire. Something’s been well and truly burned.” I disagree, moving through the fence.

“I can patch that fence, by the way.” Tyreese tells me and I nod my affirmation as the rest come through it.

“You know, it’s probably where the deer are coming from. We should leave it and just play it really safe in here.” I announce as we start walking up to the house.

Leaving Judith with the girls by the porch, away from the entrance, Tyreese and I knocked on it, waiting for any walkers inside to be drawn to the noise. We knocked once, waited, and then knocked again and nothing happened.

“If there’s one in there, it’s not moving much.” Tyreese points out.

“Let’s just stay close, go slow, room to room.” I instruct.

“You girls, you sit tight. You don’t come in until we come out, no matter what you hear.” I order over the porch to them. “Okay.” They both reply.

“Lizzie’s got Judith. Mika, get out your gun. You’re gonna need to stand watch.” I add.

“Stand strong, little lady.” Tyreese says before we head inside to start the sweep.

Slowly we step along a hall, towards the first rooms. Tyreese goes in one as I go into the other. Looking around mine is clear. There’s another door in my room so I approach it to check whatever is behind it, another room or a cupboard. Whatever it was, it had to be checked. As I come close, about to open it, I suddenly hear a gunshot from outside where the girls are. I rush out the room just as Tyreese rushes out of his, and another gunshot rings as screams start. More gunshots follow as I burst through the door onto the porch to see Lizzie screaming on the floor, still holding a now crying Judith, whilst Mika stood behind her shooting at a crawling walker almost at Lizzie’s feet. As we come down the steps, Mika shoots the walker in the head, killing it.

I rush to them both and look to Mika as I come up behind Lizzie and Judith, she looked stunned at what she’d just done but also relatively calm considering. Perhaps what I’d said had got through to her. Lizzie on the other hand looked horrified.

“Are you okay? Alright. Come on.” I say to Lizzie, helping her to her feet as she stared at the dead walker.

“I’ve got you, little girl.” Tyreese mutters to Judith, as he takes her from Lizzie’s arms, who was crying a little.

“Mika, lower the gun.” I instruct her and she does, also still staring at the walker. “You did it. You saved ‘em.” I tell her.

“Why are upset, Lizzie? Are you scared?” I ask.

“No.” she answers. “Then why are you crying?” I question.

“I don’t wanna say.” she states, walking over to bench behind us and I can hear her breathing heavy a little.

Mika follows her over. “Lizzie, I’m sorry I yelled at you. Just look at the flowers like you’re supposed to. Count one, two, three. Come on. Let’s count together. Look at the pink ones over there, you see?” Mika comforts and I’m reminded of what they did back when Ryan, their dad, died. “One, two, three.” They started counting together.

Lizzie hadn’t said why she was upset but from her horrified look and reluctance to say, I had a pretty good guess. Mika had clearly listened to what I’d told her, why couldn’t Lizzie let it go. She was going to have to drop this hang up she had with the walkers one way or the other.


	13. thirteen

“You still upset?” I ask Lizzie gently, sat at the table, crushing pecans. She was sat at the table with me and hadn’t spoken much the rest of the day since what happened out by the porch. And it was dark now, she had to let up sometime.

“Sometimes I don’t understand. But I’m trying to. I am.” She sadly assures me just as Mika comes running into the living room to us at the table.

“Look what I found.” Mika gleamed, holding a doll she’d found somewhere in the house. “I’m going to name her Griselda Gunderson.” She declares before striding over and sitting by the fire. 

“Well, we got plenty of water. Now, all we gotta do is bag one of them deer and we all set.” Tyreese announces as he walks into the room, headed for one of the armchairs as Lizzie starts to help me with the pecans.

“Then we’ll get one.” I chime.

“Yeah.” He replies.

“What’s wrong?” I hear Mika ask and I look over to see Tyreese looking a little unsure of himself standing in front of the armchair.

“I’m not used to this.” He answers.

“Used to what?” lizzie questions, but I know exactly what he means. Being in a house, like how we were now, crushing nuts, sitting by the fire. It was strange. It wasn’t the norm anymore.

“Being in a living room in a house.” Tyreese explains.

“Yeah. So relax.” Mika chirps, returning to play with her doll as Lizzie turns back and continues with the nuts. Tyreese looks at me and I’m smirking at him, before we chuckle at her remark, and he takes a seat in the armchair.

I smile as I watch him grab something to read, sitting in his chair. If you looked at us from a window, you’d think we were a family. The sad truth was, it was an image I had pictured with someone else sitting in that chair. A certain lovable, crossbow wielding redneck. I hoped he was alive, somewhere. Because if he was, it meant there was a chance I could find him.

“We should live here.” Mika suddenly suggests, snapping me from my thoughts.

Tyreese looks to me from his chair and I catch his look, he seemed to contemplate her words and I smile at him, because I was to. We didn’t know what lied ahead at Terminus, and I had my doubts. This place had everything we needed. We could make a start of something here, and I needed a safe place to deliver. I had about a month and half left. This place could work, if we let it.

The next morning, I had come down to the kitchen. I was filling up a kettle so we could boil the water. When I had started heating it up, I heard Lizzie’s faint laughs coming from outside. Looking out the window to see what it was she was doing, I suddenly see her running around with a walker and I don’t hesitate for a second before rushing out the kitchen to her outside, grabbing my katana off the table as I do.

“Lizzie, get away from it.” I yell as I come down the porch steps, unsheathing my katana, dropping its case without a thought.

“No, no, no, no.” she cries as I approach, turning around and holding her hands out for me to stop. “Right now.” I snap.

She continues to stand and repeat no as the walker comes right up behind her. 

“Lizzie, look out.” I shout as I get to her; it nearly grabs her but I push her to the side out the way, causing her to fall to the ground. “No!” she screams as I swing at the walker, cutting its head in half and killing it.

“She was playing with me. She wanted a friend.” Lizzie states, raising her voice in anger at me, as she gets up to her feet.

“She wanted to kill you.” I snap.

“I was gonna lead her away.” she retorts, starting to get upset.

“You could have died.” I yell, getting sick of her obsession with the walkers. It was going to get her killed.

“It’s the same thing. You killed her! You killed her! It’s the same thing.” She starts screaming.

“Lizzie-,” I speak softer, trying to calm her but she doesn’t let up.

“What if I killed you? What if I killed you?” she continues to scream.

“Lizzie.” I sternly say, trying to get her to stop and she stops beginning to cry.

“You don’t understand. You don’t understand. You don’t understand. You don’t understand.” She repeats quieter, staring at the walker but her volume rising again with each word. “You don’t understand.” She screams on the last one.

“Lizzie. Lizzie-” I try to stop her, now just stunned at her display and reaction to what just happened. 

“You didn’t have to. You didn’t have to. She didn’t wanna hurt anybody. She didn’t wanna hurt anybody. She’s my friend and you killed her. You killed her. You killed her.” she keeps screaming before she breaks down in tears. “She was my friend.” She cries, sat over the dead walker. I look at her in shock and I don’t even know what to say or do anymore. I look back to the house and see Tyreese stood on the porch, watching us, him too with an expression of slight shock.

After painfully and difficultly urging Lizzie to go back inside the house, I needed to get away; I didn’t want to say anything to her in anger that I’d regret, even if she probably needed to hear it. I decided to take Mika out to go hunting for that deer we talked about, seeing as she had shot that walker earlier. I could teach her to hunt and get some practise in for her while we did it. Once, we’d got Lizzie to settle down inside, Tyreese kept an eye on her while Mika and I went out.

“Is it too heavy?” I ask, referring to Tyreese’s rifle as we walked through the woods.

“Nah, I’m good.” Mika assures, holding it.

“The fire’s still burning.” She announces after a moment, looking up at the column of smoke still rising from whatever was burning in the distance.

“It coulda gone out.” I say.

“Nope. The smokes black. If it was white, the fire wouldn’t be burning anymore.” she points out.

I scoff in amusement at her knowledge and my lack of, looking to her with a smirk. “How you know that?” I ask.

“Science class.” She chimes. “Ah, I see. Of course.” I reply, holding my smirk. “I miss it. Except when we had to do stuff like cut up planaria worms.” She adds, making me chuckle a little.

“Well, you taught me something.” I state.

She looks up at me with a smile, looking quite proud of herself. “Really?” she questions.

I look down at her, mirroring her smile. “Mmhmm.” I mumble in response, making me realise, a bit of Daryl had rubbed off on me, but I wasn’t upset by it all. I’d take whatever I could get.

At hearing my affirmation, as if her smile couldn’t get any bigger, it did. She looked out ahead, quite proud of herself. But as we walked, and I looked down at her, walking with that rifle, my smile faded out.

“You know, what you said you don’t miss about your science class. You gotta do worse than that nowadays, Mika.” I sombrely point out.

“I don’t gotta.” She retorts.

I stop her from walking and stand with her. “You do. Lizzie’s bigger than you, and in some ways she’s stronger. But you’re smarter, and you understand these- things.” I explain, referring to the walkers. “You gotta look out for her.” I state, giving her a nod, affirming it. “You have to--,” I begin as we turn and start to walk again but I cut myself off when I spot a deer up ahead and I stop Mika from moving, so we don’t spook it.

She goes to hand me the rifle, but I push it gently back to her. “No, go ahead. You do it. Just like I showed you on the porch. Go ahead.” I quietly and softly urge her.

She looks at me unsure but does turn to face the deer and holds the rifle up like I showed her. She aims it at the deer up ahead, holding her stance for a moment, before she lowers it back down.

“I can’t.” she states, looking to me. I look back over at the deer and see it disappear through some bushes. Looking back at Mika, she shrugs at me.

“We have peaches.” She comforts, before starting to walk off back towards the house and I follow behind her.

When we get back, I see Tyreese at the well. I ask Mika for the rifle back and tell her to head inside, that I’d be in with Ty in a second. Coming up to Tyreese as he pumps the water, I call out to him.

“Here’s your rifle, farmer Ty.” I smile, as I hold it out for him to take back.

“Funny.” He chimes as he takes it from me. “How’d she do?” he asks.

I sigh as I perch myself on the well. “She couldn’t do it.” I state.

“Give her time. She will.” He assures and I nod as he pumps the waters.

After a moment, he stops and leans on the pump, looking at out as if in pondering thought.

“What is it?” I question.

He turns to face me. “Maybe we don’t need to go to Terminus.” He announces. “I’ve been thinking. Mika’s right. We can stay here. We can live here.” he elaborates.

“Yeah, we can. I wouldn’t mind it either. In fact, I’d like to. At least for a while.” I agree.

Ty smiles. “I know Lizzie and Mika. I know Judith. I know you. I trust you. And I don’t know if I can get that anywhere else. Plus, with the new baby soon. We could stay. We can live here.” he continues. 

I bring my hand up and onto his, grasping and squeezing it. “Then we will.” I smile before Ty then continues pumping the water into the many buckets as I sat with him.

-

Mika had gone inside the house and looked around for Lizzie but couldn’t find her in any room. Starting to get ready, she grabbed her handgun and went to look outside. When she looked out back, she saw Lizzie sneaking away out into the woods and rushed out to follow her. When she finally caught up, she’d followed her back to the railway and saw her feeding a mouse to a stuck walker in the track.

“Lizzie?” she calls as she approaches her sat by this walker she was feeding. Lizzie looks to her as she comes up to her side. “When we were giving them names, we just pretending things weren’t bad. Things are bad. Those things, they’re bad. They are. We can’t pretend anymore.” Mika explains.

“I’m not pretending. You were. I know. I can hear them.” Lizzie defends.

“They wanna kill you.” Mika states.

“They just want me to change, to make me be like them. Maybe I should change.” She points out before moving onto her knees and holding her hand out in front of the walker’s mouth and it snaps and snarls enthusiastically at her.

“Stop it.” Mika insists.

“I can make you all understand.” She almost whispers.

“Lizzie.” Mika says, to make her stop just as several burned walkers emerge from the woods to the side, approaching them.

“Lizzie, they’re coming.” Mika exclaims, grabbing her arm, picking her up to her feet and they both run back for the house.

-

Ty and I were walking back up the land to the house with the buckets of water when we suddenly heard both Lizzie and Mika scream from near the house. Both of us drop the buckets at the sound and run towards it. When we near their screams, I see a cluster of burned walkers headed towards the fence, where Mika had her foot caught on the wire and Lizzie was trying to help her free as a walker was just at her feet, starting to pull on her legs. I immediately grab my gun from my belt and shoot it, not having the time to get there to take it out with my sword. As it’s killed, Lizzie manages to get Mika free from the fence.

“Get behind us!” I shout as Tyreese and I run towards the fence.

As we stand at the fence, we start shooting at the several walkers approaching with the girls safely behind us. Taking down a few, I suddenly see at both my sides, Mika and Lizzie begin shooting at the walkers too. Killing them. Having seen them shoot and kill, looking to my side at Lizzie a little shocked, considering what had happened earlier that day, I stop shooting at the last few, watching her do it. When they’re all dead, she turns to me looking a little upset.

I bring her into an embrace. “It’s okay. You did it.” I comfort her as she holds me back. I look at Mika who seems fine after it all and with my arm around Lizzie and Tyreese’s around Mika, we all head back to the house.

Once again, Lizzie hadn’t spoken much when we’d come into the house. It soon turned dark and she still hadn’t really said anything. She looked a little traumatised by what happened, but she had the last time and it turned out it hadn’t made an impact. I wondered and hoped it had this time.

“Do you understand what they are now?” I gently ask Lizzie at the table in the living room.

“I know. I know what I have to do now. I know.” she assures me.

“It’s ugly, and it’s scary. And it does change you. But that’s how we get to be here. That’s the cost. That’s growing up now. Even for me.” I explain.

“I don’t wanna hurt anyone. I don’t wanna be mean.” Mika announces from in front of the fire, with her doll again.

“You have to be sometimes. But just sometimes.” Lizzie tells her softly after we both look to her and I think we’ve finally got through to her.

Tyreese starts to mutter no repeatedly again in his sleep on the armchair, fidgeting, before he stops and he fades back out into a restful sleep.

“You know, we have a lot of pecans here.” I cheerful point out, trying to lighten the mood as I look at the couple full bowls we had on the table, just in the living room.

“A tonne.” Lizzie replies.

“You getting sick of ‘em yet?” I question the girls.

“Nope.” Mika smiles, making me chuckle back at her.

“Good. ‘Cause we’re gonna make something from ‘em. Come on.” I state, getting up from the table to head to the kitchen, grabbing the bowls. They both spring up and rush there, smiles on their faces, before I can even leave the living room. It was a simple thing to announce, yet it was such an innocent and nice sight to see them run in excitement together after the day we’d had. It was the little things that you enjoyed now.

The following day, Tyreese and I had left to go out hunting for that deer Mika and I had spotted the previous. Figuring the girls were fine on their own now, if we both went; we’d have a better chance at shooting it without any potential protests from either of the girls. As we walked across the garden plot, towards the woods, I look around at the potential the place had.

“The girls like it here. We could build it up, plant more food. We could find a car for an escape route just in case.” I announce, nodding at myself, knowing it could work. “If you don’t wanna go to Terminus, we could stay.” I add.

Ty smiles. “Okay.” Nodding his approval, like it wasn’t him who first said the idea aloud.

“It doesn’t mean we can’t go someday.” He states. “I know.” I reply.

“It’s just- when we were getting closer and closer, I realised- I’m just not ready to be around other people yet.” He continues.

“You don’t have to. We have time.” I assure.

There’s a moment of silence before Ty admits something, what it is that keeps making him mutter in his sleep. “I dream about Karen. I see her every night. And every time, I forget she’s dead. Sometimes we just talk. And sometimes, I see her in a crowd, in a city I’ve never been to. And it’s back before everything happened. And then, some nights, the bad ones, I see someone kill her. Some stranger. And then, I- I lose her all over again.” Tyreese explains and it strikes me with emotions. I suddenly remember what Hershel had told me, that it was Carol and I debate with myself whether or not to tell him. If it would just make him feel worse or not. 

“That’s the deal, right? The people who are living are haunted by the dead. We are who we are, and we do what we do, ‘cause they’re still here. In our heads. In the forest. The whole world is haunted now. And there’s no getting out of that. Not until we’re dead.” He sadly adds, making silent tears run down my face, making me think of Daryl and making me think if what I’ve been doing is right.

“Maybe they’re not haunting us. Maybe-- maybe they’re just teaching us. Helping remind us, so that we can live with what we have to do.” I reply quietly, wiping my tears from my face, as say my thoughts aloud.

Tyreese puts his hand on my shoulder in comfort. “Hey. Don’t you ever be ashamed of who you are, Y/N. You did right by those girls. You did right by everyone.” He reassures me before bringing me into a hug, and I hold him back.

After an unsuccessful hunting trip, we finally came back upon the house plot. We’d tracked the deer for a while, but the tracks were leading further and further out, so we decided not to follow them any longer. Not wanting to go too far out away from the house, if the girls were there. And it’ll always come back at some point, I thought, the deer liked the pecans.

“We’ll get one yet. Probably not even deer season.” Tyreese chirps as we start walking back up to the house.

“My adoptive father used to hunt. He taught me. And when he killed a deer, or I did, he’d tell the same stupid joke, every time.” I announce, the memory suddenly coming to me.

“You gonna tell it?” Tyreese urges.

“Well, I guess I have to now, right?” I chime with a smile. “You do.” Tyreese smiles back.

“Okay. What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?” I start. Tyreese chuckles lightly already, probably knowing it was going to have an awful punch line. Which it did. “Beer nuts are around $1.79. And deer nuts are just under a buck.” I finish.

Tyreese laughs to himself as I smile. “That’s a good stupid. But in no way is it stupid good.” he points out.

“Yeah, you got that right.” I laugh as we come up close to the house. I look back ahead and see Lizzie standing over Judith on a blanket and her hands blood red. My face drops completely in horror at the sight and both Tyreese and I run over. Getting closer to her, she doesn’t move, still standing there as I notice she is holding her knife in her hand and a body was laid by Judith on the blanket. It was Mika.

“Don’t worry. She’ll come back. I didn’t hurt her brain.” Lizzie coolly and calmly states as we look over the whole horrific display in shock and disturbance. She stood over Mika’s dead body, where she had stabbed her in the chest, and she was smiling. I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was psychopathic.

I step forward to try and take the knife from Lizzie’s hand but she immediately drops it at my movement and quickly takes her gun from her belt.

“No, no, no.” she says, pointing the gun at me. “We have to wait. I need to show you. You’ll see. You’ll finally get it. We have to wait.” She declares.

I stare at her with tears in my eyes, trying to hold them back, as she stood there holding her gun at me. “Lizzie, put the gun down.” Tyreese quietly and calmly asks.

“I just want us to wait.” She reiterates and realise if we were going to get her to put the gun down, to get her away from Judith and Mika, and we had to soon in case Mika turns and attacks Judith, I had to play along.

“We can wait. We can wait. You just give me the gun. We can wait I swear.” I assure her gently, holding my hand out for the gun.

She looks back at me, holding the gun still at me until she finally hands it over.

“You and Tyreese should take Judith back inside. It’s not safe for her.” I point out.

“But Judith can change, too. I was just about—” Lizzie starts and hearing her words shocks me even more, but I have to keep playing along to get her away.

“She can’t even walk yet.” I cut her off.

“Yeah. You’re right.” She agrees.

“Okay, so you two take Judith back to the house and we’ll have lunch. And I’ll just-- I’ll just tie Mika up. You know, just so she won’t go anywhere.” I suggest.

“Promise that’s what you’ll do?” Lizzie asks.

“Mmhmm. Promise.” I reply, before glancing at Tyreese pained, seeing he had about the same expression on his face.

He steps forward and carefully grabs Judith from her blanket. “Let’s, uh- let’s go, Lizzie.” He says, leading her inside in front of him.

I watch them go inside, waiting until Lizzie was inside the house before I started to sob. I broke down, chucking the gun to the floor in anger, sorrow, grief, disbelief. I couldn’t believe what my eyes were looking at. Mika was laid there dead on the ground and now I had to kill her a second time. She was so bright and happy. I worked myself up to do it, picking the knife off the floor, my knife I had given Lizzie back at the prison, I looked at in my hand. The blade was covered in Mika’s blood and I suddenly realised my weapons had been used by others to kill someone close to me. The Governor had somewhat tainted my katana, twice with what he had done to me and then Hershel and now Lizzie had killed Mika with my knife. Shaking a little with the knife in my hand, I sat down to my knees beside Mika and held my knife at her head. Closing my eyes, I plunged the knife in, still sobbing as I did, before pulling it back out. I looked to my side before opening my eyes and I grabbed the blanket Judith had been on and brought it up over Mika. Taking one last look at her innocent, sad little face, before bringing the blanket over it.

Having come back into the house, I walked in and sat at the kitchen table. Staring out at nothing, until Tyreese came into the room shortly after, still holding Judith.

“I brought her some food. Cleared out her room, made sure she didn’t have any knives, anything like that.” He informs, and I lightly nod in response, still staring out at nothing.

“She has a shoe box full of mice. I asked her if she was the one feeding the walkers at the prison. It was her. At the tombs, we found this rabbit, pulled apart and nailed to a board. That was her too. said she was just having fun.” he announces, disturbance in his voice, and I rub my eyes and forehead at the information, disturbed also. She was psychotic. They always say it’s starts with animals, then they move onto people. And now that’s exactly what she’s done.

“I was thinking maybe, maybe she killed Karen and David. But I don’t know how she could drag them away.” Ty adds, sounding broken.

I let out a sigh as I closed my eyes, shaking my head. I had to tell him. “She would have let them turn. It wasn’t her.” I point out. “Ty-,” I start, facing him. “It was Carol. She killed them. Said she did it. To stop the flu spreading. I’m sorry.” I finally tell him.

His face remained looking broken at the news and I could see his chin begin to wobble as he choked back his sobs. “She tell you she did it?” he questions as he sits himself down at the table.

I shake my head. “Hershel told me. Just before we were taken by the Governor. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” I answer and I look down at the table.

Both of us sit there in silence for a long moment. Both of us handling the events of Lizzie and Mika and now Tyreese with finding out about Carol. It took us a moment to talk again, but we did. Tyreese being the one to speak first.

“So what do we do now?” he asks.

I look up at him, thinking what we could do. “I could leave with her.” I suggest.

“What? You can’t go out there. Not now. Not how you are. You wouldn’t make it. Not on your own.” Tyreese protests and he had a point, it was just the first thing I thought of.

“No, you’re right.” I agree. “But- we can’t send her out on her own. And I can’t go with her, you’re right. I can’t-- I won’t- have her around my baby. And we can’t sleep with her and Judith under the same roof.” I explain, realising we didn’t have many options at all.

“Then I’ll go with her.” Tyreese offers.

“No. You wouldn’t make it either.” I argue. “She can’t be around other people.” I add.

“Maybe we could try to help her. Talk her back somehow.” Tyreese suggests.

“There’s no coming back from this for her. This is how she is. It was already there. I didn’t see enough.” I point out, tears in my eyes.

“How could you?” Tyreese says.

“I should have seen it.” I state.

“Well- what else is there to do.” Tyreese questions.

“She can’t be around other people.” I reiterate. “She won’t survive out there. She’s a danger to everyone. Including herself. --She’ll get others killed-- kill others-- and get herself killed.” I elaborate. “She can’t be around other people. The babies. She can’t.” I repeat.

Tyreese and I look at each other across the table. Pain, hurt, and horrific realisation in our eyes, as well as our tears, both of us seeing and realising what the only other option was. It was just unbearable to think.


	14. fourteen

“That was one small rabbit.” Rick states.

“It was something. Gotta hand it to the thing. Travelled well.” Michonne retorts, getting a weak chuckle from Rick.

Michonne had reunited Rick and Carl when she found them a few days back, hauled up in a house. They’d be scavenging together since until they found signs for a place that claimed sanctuary, deciding to head to it. Terminus. It was night and Carl was sleeping in an abandoned truck at the side of the road as Rick and Michonne sat by it and their fire chatting quietly between themselves.

“Have you noticed that’s all we talk about anymore? Food.” Rick points out. “I forgot what this feels like.” He adds.

“Me too. I hope we’re able to forget again soon.” Michonne states.

“We’re close. Just gotta make it through a couple days. If the folks there are taking people in, they have to be strong. They have to have a system.” Rick replies as he kicks out their small fire.

“I wonder if the whole things legit.” Michonne questions just as a branch snaps from behind them in the woods at a distance. Both of the spin, jumping at the sound, Rick stands as Michonne grabs for her weapon, looking for anything coming their way but after a moment nothing happens.

“We let people in.” Rick says as he sits back down.

“We did. So did the Governor.” Michonne retorts.

Rick nods. “Yeah, that’s always the thing, isn’t it? Don’t get to know ‘til we know.” Rick states and Michonne hums her agreement.

“Maybe this place isn’t even there anymore.” Rick points out just as a gun is cocked at the side of his head.

“Oh, dearie me.” A man says from behind him, the man holding the gun to his head. Michonne goes to grab her weapon but a man appears at her side and grabs it from her, throwing it away so she couldn’t grab it and held his gun pointed at her.

“You screwed up, asshole. You hear me? You screwed up.” the man behind Rick continues as more of his men appear out the woods coming up, holding their weapons pointed at Rick and Michonne.

“Today is the day of reckoning, sir. Restitution. A balancing of the whole damn universe. Shit, and I was thinking of turning in for the night on new years eve.” The man babbles, laughing to himself. “Now, who’s gonna count down the ball dropping with me, huh? Ten Mississippi, nine Mississippi, eight Mississippi--,” he begins to count but is interrupted by one of his men approaching late.

“Joe!” a familiar voice calls, stopping the man, Joe, counting down as he continues to hold the gun to Rick’s head. Rick and Michonne look over to see Daryl approaching, all of them looking at one another in shock, both from seeing him alive and how they had now been reunited.

“Hold up.” Daryl says as he walks past the guys standing around, coming closer to the two with Joe.

“You’re stopping me on eight, Daryl.” Joe points out annoyed.

“Just hold up.” Daryl repeats as he stands before them.

“This is the guy that killed Lou, so we got nothin’ to talk about.” One of the guys standing around announces from behind Daryl, referring to a guy Rick had killed a few days prior in one of the houses they’d found themselves in whilst Carl and Michonne had gone on a run.

“The thing about nowadays is we got nothing but time. Say your piece, Daryl.” Joe allows.

“These people, you’re gonna let ‘em go. These are good people.” Daryl orders calmly.

“Now, I think Lou would disagree with you on that. I’ll of course, have to speak for him and all, ‘cause your friend here strangled him in a bathroom.” Joe explains.

“You want blood. I get it.” Daryl replies before tossing his crossbow to the floor. “Take it from me, man. Come on.” He urges, holding his arms out to show he meant it.

Joe stares at Daryl. “This man killed our friend. You say he’s good people. See now, that right there, is- is a lie.” Joe announces and Daryl lowers his arms back to his side with a slap, his expression changing to a realisation, like what he had said meant more than what it just sounded. “It’s a lie!” Joe yells and one of his men behind Daryl comes forwards to his side and hits him in the gut, making him hunch over in pain.

“No.” Rick exclaims as a couple guys proceed to beat him, moving him by the car as they pummelled and kicked him. 

“Teach him fellas. Teach him all the way.” Joe calls, now just as another one of men grabs Carl from the car.

“You leave him be!” Rick snaps, trying to rise to his feet in fury but Joe pushes him back down, holding him still with the gun at his head as the other man holds a knife to Carl’s throat.

“Listen, it was me. It was just me.” Rick spits, an attempt to save the others.

“See now, that’s right. That’s not some damn lie. Look, we can settle this. We’re reasonable men.” Joe begins. “First, we’re gonna beat Daryl to death. Then we’ll have the girl. Then the boy. Then I’m gonna shoot you and then we’ll be square.” Joe states, chuckling to himself as the man pushes carl to the ground, holding him down from on top if him.

“Let him go.” Rick pleads angrily as Joe continues to laugh and watches as Carl squirms under the man on top of him, laughing also.

“Let him go.” Rick repeats, just before he head butts Joe behind him, making him shoot his gun at the sudden force forwards, sending a bullet straight past and from the side of Rick’s face. The bang of the gun rings in Rick’s ear, dazing him and his hearing slightly. Quickly composing himself as much as he could, he rises and turns around to a coughing Joe behind him and punches him but not with enough force. Joe remains standing and then punches him right back, sending Rick back to the ground.

“I got him.” Joe calls as he walks forward to Rick on the floor. “Oh, it’s gonna be so much worse now.” Joe grunts as he kicks Rick in the gut.

As Rick moves onto his hands and knees, looking around he sees Daryl still getting brutally beaten and Carl still squirming under the laughing man on top of him. Michonne suddenly bats the gun out her face, and the man shoots the gun at her movement, sending the shot next to her as he slaps her hard in the face, causing her to slump to the side at the force.

“Come on, get up! Come on. Let’s see what you got.” Joe yells at Rick, trying to rise to his feet.

The man on top of a now crying carl, flips him over and starts to unbuckle his belt, still chuckling away, much to Rick’s horror. 

“You leave him be!” he exclaims, fury and panic in his voice as he rises to a stand, but Joe grabs him from the front, holding his arms down.

“What the hell are you gonna do now, sport?” he questions him just before Rick, without thinking, bites down hard into Joe’s neck, into his carotid artery and rips his throat as he pulls his bite out from him, spitting the blood and flesh from his mouth. As Joe gurgles, bleeding out, he falls to the ground with a thud as all his men stop momentarily to look on in terror at their now dying leader.

Michonne takes the chance to grab the man’s revolver and quickly twists it back to face his head and shoots it, killing him as Daryl takes the same opportunity to get out of his beating. He quickly rises and punches one of the guys to the ground as Michonne shoots the other. She turns on the guy now holding Carl up on his feet, holding his knife to his throat once again.

“I’ll kill him. I’ll- I’ll- I’ll kill him!” he yells.

“Let the boy go.” Michonne angrily exclaims as Daryl finishes off the guy he punched, hitting him a couple more times bloody before stomping hard on his head, killing him.

Rick staggers up to Michonne’s side, fury in his eyes. “He’s mine.” He coldly states as he begins walking towards the man holding Carl who almost immediately releases him.

“Stay back. Please--,” He whimpers as he drops his knife and holds his hands up but Rick cuts him off as he swiftly grabs his knife from his belt and forcibly stabs him in the gut. The man screams as Rick grasps his neck, beginning to cut up his body to his chest, bringing the man to his knees. As Michonne is holding a traumatised Carl, Rick repeatedly starts to stab the man, over and over, as they all watch in slight stun at his fury.

Rick was sat on the ground, leant up against the side of the car, staring out at nothing, his hands and arms slightly shaking. He’d been sat there all night and after what had happened the night before, he was still in stun at what he had done, what he had to do. Michonne held a still sleeping Carl in the truck, as he rested his head on her lap.

Daryl comes back to the truck from the woods, not managing to find any food that morning but found some clean water and filled a bottle they had to bring back. He sees Rick is still where he has been all night, his face and hands covered in blood. Laying his crossbow against the front of the truck, pulls his red rag from his back pocket as he stands before Rick, starting to soak it with the water from the bottle.

“We should save it to drink.” Rick says, seeing him do it.

“You can’t see yourself. He can.” Daryl tells him, referring to Carl as he hands him the rag.

Daryl perches himself besides Rick, leaning with him against the side of the car as he starts wiping at his face to clean the blood off.

“I didn’t know what they were.” Daryl announces after a moment.

“How’d you wind up with ‘em?” Rick asks.

“I was with Beth. We got out together. I was with her for a while.” He answers woefully, looking down at his lap. Thinking back to how they had started to make a go of surviving together, a somewhat happiness together in their companionship, despite what had happened, before she was suddenly abducted by some unknown person or people. The image of a car with a white cross on the back windshield as it sped off with her, losing her etched into his memory. He ran and walked for miles after it, before finally collapsing at a crossroads, which had been where Joe and his gang had found him sat alone.

“Is she dead?” Rick questions.

Daryl looks to him sadly. “She’s just gone.” He answers vaguely and they share a silent pause.

“After that, that’s when they found me. I mean, I knew they were bad, but- they had a code. It was simple, stupid,- but it was somethin’. It was enough.” Daryl continues.

“And you were alone.” Rick points out.

“They said they were looking for some guy. Last night, they said they spotted him. I was hanin’ back. I was gonna leave- but I stayed. That’s when I saw it was you three. Right when you saw me. I didn’t know what they could do.” Daryl explains guiltily, looking down again.

“It’s not on you, Daryl.” Rick reassures, but Daryl keeps his head down. “Hey.” He says, making him look up. “It’s not on you.” He reiterates but Daryl hangs his head again.

“You being back with us here, now-- that’s everything.” Rick tells him.

“You’re my brother.” Rick states.

Daryl faces him, giving him a slight nod in grateful appreciation and they sit there for a moment without a word.

“Hey, what you did last night-- anybody would have done that.” Daryl points out suddenly.

“No, not that.” Rick retorts.

“Something happened. That ain’t you.” Daryl counters.

“Daryl, you saw what I did to Tyreese. It ain’t all of it, but that’s me. That’s why I’m here now. That’s why Carl is. I want to keep him safe. That’s all that matters.” Rick explains.

Daryl nods in understanding, creating a another pause between them. Rick is suddenly struck with the thought about what happened at the prison. How Cark and him had to flee, not knowing if Y/N had made it or not going into the prison. He decided that he couldn’t keep that from Daryl, he deserved to know what happened and what he’d done or hadn’t done in that moment. 

“Daryl—I said you’re my brother. I meant it. –That’s why I gotta tell you about Y/N.” Rick announces after his thoughts, causing Daryl to quickly look to him in anxious anticipation as to what he was about to say.

“She’s dead. We- I saw her go down.” He replies, stating what they saw but also saying it in question after what Rick had just started to say.

“No.” Rick states, making a shimmer of hope shiver through Daryl but it quickly fades as Rick reads it and continues. “Or at least-- not then.”

“She didn’t go down out by the trucks. She saved me.” Rick begins. “The Governor was close to killing me. I’d been shot- we fought. He was beating me. Had his hands around my throat. He nearly killed me until she killed him. Stabbed him through the chest with an almighty scream, before-- well, she made sure she hurt him, before we left him for dead.” Rick explains.

“You get out together?” Daryl asks pained, wondering if she even made it away from the prison.

“No. I got out with Carl.” Rick answers sorrowfully. “She went up ahead to look for him. I could barely walk, or breathe, at that point. --She went into the prison, but-- I came across Carl in the courtyard before she came out.” Rick continues, taking a breath. “We were forced to leave ‘cause the place was starting to get overrun with walkers. Daryl-- I never saw her come out. I’m sorry. If I could have stayed- if I could have got her out- I would have-- but I had to get Carl out. I’m sorry.” Rick finishes, sounding guilty at reliving what had happened. 

Daryl sits there, his imagination running wild at what could have happened to Y/N, the thoughts paining him. “You did what you had to do.” Daryl woefully assures.

He starts to think, though, that perhaps there was a chance she got out. Rick didn’t see her get out, but that didn’t mean she didn’t.

“Maybe she’s still out there.” he sadly, but hopefully, points out. “She escaped that herd before. She found her way back to us.” he adds.

“The place was crawling with walkers--,” Rick begins, thinking how it was highly likely that Y/N didn’t, but turns to see the hurt in Daryl’s eyes, seeing he was holding onto hope that she was alive it made him stop. “Maybe.” He corrects himself. “Maybe.” He repeats pitifully.


	15. fifteen

Tyreese and I had regrettably come to the only conclusion, the only solution we had left on what to do with Lizzie. He said he wouldn’t be able to do it and I wasn’t sure if I could either, but one of us had to do if we were to go through with it. we’d ultimately come to point where it was apparent I was going to have to do it, although it grieved just at the thought.

When I was walking Lizzie down the garden, I felt even more so. I’d told her I wanted to talk to her about something but I was leading this young girl to her death. I was questioning my actions with every step. A part of me was screaming not to, that perhaps we could talk her down from whatever it was she had infected herself with it. but a bigger part of me knew that wouldn’t happen. Like I said myself earlier, this was who she was, and she couldn’t be around anyone, not now. The world had infected us all with this disease that turned us into the walking dead, but it had also infected her with her own kind of disease. She didn’t know what we were doing, or what was going to happen, but as we walked she was almost skipping with a smile on her face. It was like we were just going for a normal walk. Like nothing had happened. Like she hadn’t just killed her own sister and intended to kill Judith, a baby, earlier in the day. She was totally unfazed.

As she strode by my side, I looked down to her and she looked back up at me with a smile. It made me look back straight ahead, I couldn’t bear to see it. There was no guilt at all behind her smile. I let out a quiet sigh as I have to, once again, play along with Lizzie’s world.

“We should pick some wildflowers for Mika to give her when she comes back.” I state regrettably, trying to hide my sorrow.

“Yeah. She’d love that.” Lizzie chirps.

“Fire’s still burning.” Lizzie suddenly announces and I look up at the column of smoke, that was still there but it was no longer black. It was white and starting to fade. She was unintentionally getting her last licks in; making me think about a moment I shared with Mika.

“No. Smoke’s white. It’s out.” I inform, looking back down in grief.

“You know everything.” Lizzie chimes happily, making me close my eyes, trying to stop any tears forming. “No, I don’t.” I whimper as I open my eyes.

“What is it?” she softly questions. I shake my head, trying to hold back my tears, not wanting to say another word in case I burst into tears.

She steps in front of me, blocking my path and stopping me. “What is it?” she repeats, sounding and looking visibly upset now. I just stare at her, words not forming in my open mouth fast enough to answer.

“Are you mad at me?” she now whimpers. “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” she asks but I still don’t know how to respond.

“I’m sorry. I am. I’m really sorry. Please forgive me.” She pleads, starting to cry and it strikes me that perhaps she did regret what she did now. And if she regretted it, then maybe there was a chance at bringing her back; I wouldn’t have to do this after all. but then just as quick as she makes me think so, she crushes it just as fast. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I pointed my gun at you. I just needed you wait.” She continues through her cries. 

She was upset because she thought I was mad at her for pointing a gun at me. Like that was the only thing she had done that was wrong. She truly was past saving, and it hit me all over again as I looked own at her.

“I know.” I whimper, holding my tears back, still keeping up the façade of her mind.

“I’m sorry.” She repeats. “You’re mad at me.” she cries, turning around away from me, taking a few steps forward towards a patch of wildflowers, crouching down to it so she could pick some.

“I love you, Lizzie.” I say, watching her crouch by and look at the flowers.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry.” she pleads, sobbing.

“You just-- just look at the flowers, Lizzie.” I tell her, holding on as hard as I can not to join in sobbing with her as I slowly take my gun from its holster.

“Just-- just look at the flowers.” I blubber as I aim my gun at her from behind.

In my stance, listening to her sobs and knowing what I was about to do, I silently cry, tears streaming as I choke back my own cries. Then after a moment, I quietly cock my gun and take the shot. 

Lizzie’s sobs cease at the bang of the gunshot and she falls to the flowers in front of her. I let out a huge breathe I didn’t know I was holding in as I look away from her when she falls. I then can’t stop myself any longer from sobbing and break down, dropping the gun as I drop to my knees. I cry and wail into my hands and the ground as I take in what I’d just done.

When I could eventually bring myself to even walk, I slowly make my way up the garden back towards the house, still sobbing. As I go, I catch a glimpse of something in the corner of my eye and look over at my side to a deer not too far ahead, eating pecans off the ground. It makes me cry even more, looking at it, everything little thing making me think of the girls. 

Tyreese and I didn’t talk, not once, the whole time after I did it. when I’d come back into the house he was crying as I was sobbing. He brought me into an embrace, and we held each other for a while as we continued to cry into one another. We eventually got them ready to be buried. He went and brought Lizzie up from the garden and had started digging their graves as I wrapped both Lizzie and Mika before making some crosses from sticks and string. I hadn’t stopped crying. My sobs had lessened but tears still fell down my cheeks, as I my cries turned to sniffles and they turned to silent tears. Tyreese and I both lowered them into their graves and covered them back up. We didn’t say any words for them; I don’t think either of us could, we were too broken to say even one word.

Later that night, Tyreese and I had been sat at the table, silent, for quite a while. Looking down at the table and our laps, at nothing. Just sat with no words, only our haunting thoughts. It had been like that until Tyreese finally said a few words.

“We don’t need to stay.” He suddenly announces, still sounding broken, making me look up at him. “We can’t stay.” He adds and his words make another tear fall but I wipe it away. “No-- no, we can’t.” I woefully agree.

The following morning, we pack our bags with our gear and supplies and leave the house. Neither of us even look back as we walk across the plot into the woods. Not wanting to have the house or anything that had happened invade our mind any more than it already was. As we came to the tracks, we started back along them headed for Terminus. Leaving that sorry house and everything it now held with it. I still had slight doubt about Terminus but whatever faced us when we got there, anything was better than staying back at that house. I had promised Ryan I’d look after his girls and look how that turned out. I’d broke my promise. I’d taken them in as my own, and for a time it was like they were. Now they had ended up just like Sophia. Dead. I’d buried three kids now in this world. I wondered maybe if I had done things differently would they have all still been here. But then I think that this world was probably just not meant for children. I had shielded Sophia as best I could from the horrors, protecting her myself and she died. I tried teaching and toughening Lizzie and Mika up, and they had somewhat; they had killed walkers, protecting themselves. But now they were dead too. I started to think if I’d be able to protect my baby when it came. Or if it too would face a similar fate under my protection. I began to worry what exactly I was bringing this child into. What was I was going to do with it if I couldn’t protect the kids that came before it? After it all, and after everything I’d been through and done in this world, I wasn’t sure I would come back from this, from what happened at the grove. Not completely. 

-

Terminus had turned out to be a complete shitshow. When Rick, Daryl, Michonne and Carl arrived, they had at first been welcoming and the place seemed legit. Until Rick had noticed things amongst their people that belonged to our own. Someone had riot gear on, someone wore the poncho Daryl had previously and someone had Glenn’s watch Hershel had gave him. After an altercation and a shootout through Terminus, they were cornered at the back fence of the place and forced into a large cargo container. One like the others they had come across as they dashed through the place, hearing people’s calls and cries from inside them.

Once all four of them were shut inside the container, they were suddenly faced by others already inside it.

“Rick?” A familiar voice asks coming out of the dark end of the container, into the slight light that was shining through the holes in scattered around its walls. It was Glenn. And Maggie then appeared behind him.

“You’re here.” Rick says as they look at each other in relief. Others start to appear behind them. Bob and Sasha. “You’re here.” Rick repeats, glad. Then some others the four didn’t recognise come up behind also and they look at them in question.

Seeing this, Maggie glances at them before looking back at Rick and the others. “They’re our friends. They helped save us.” She announces.

“Yeah. Now they’re friends of ours.” Daryl states.

“For however long that’ll be.” One of the people they didn’t know, a tall and big built man with striking ginger hair and a moustache to match, points out.

“No.” Rick sternly replies.

“They’re gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out.” Rick declares as he moves over towards the entry point of the container.

“Find out what?” The same man questions as Rick looks out a tiny crack by the door.

Rick looks around at the whole group with a stern and cold look, as they all stand staring at him waiting for a response, before he replies. “They’re screwing with the wrong people.”


End file.
